Oh man, all season on Vanderpump Rules I have really been loving James Kennedy … Until last night, that is! Down goes the Jack Daniels, and James’ decency follows suit. He was a horrible, ATROCIOUS drunken buffoon to LalaKent and Raquel Leviss when he should have reserved that treatment for Scheana Marie. If only so Rob Valetta could rush in to be knight in shining armor and fix it. I hear he’s good at those sorts of things!
Scheana Marie invited a select group ‘non-assholes’ to Rob’s cabin in Big Bear. After the Toca Madera cheating non-scandal, she’s desperate to prove that some of her non-friends are capable of behaving like decent human beings. Except slim pickings. She can’t invite the Three-Headed SheBeasts who are too busy bedazzling scooters while fake crying apologies after their birthday party breakdowns (plus they started the rumor), so Scheana was forced to choose Jax Taylor and James?! Scheana is a cesspool of failed logic and I really believe all the therapists on this show are being wasted on Jax. Absolutely he is in need, but um… spread the ‘py, because there’s a six car pileup of people needing psychiatric attention.
Even with all the (alleged) cheating scandals and clique drama, the most infamous story line from this season of Vanderpump Rules is the pasta-infused argument between Lala Kent and James Kennedy. Things went from zero to one hundred (real quick) when James told Lala and Logan Noh that his girlfriend Raquel Leviss was moving in with him. Then he accused them of not liking his girlfriend and Lala tried to lighten the mood when she mentioned that she and Logan ate Raquel’s pasta while James was DJing at SUR.
James was overly offended by that statement and took things to another level when he told Lala “Honey, you f*ck a fat man because he pays for your rent.” Mentioning, or even just alluding to, Lala’s man (Randall Emmett) is a surefire way to set her off. She stormed out of the restaurant and two of them started screaming at each other on the sidewalk. Over pasta. And the insults about Lala’s relationship, but it did all stem from pasta chatter, so the fans wanted to know if it was really “about the pasta.” Or is there so much more to that story?
Thanks to Valentine’s Day, there were a lot of reality TV stars posting on social media this week. From the couples photos, to the proud single ladies, to the mother/daughter valentines, there were a lot of sweet photos to choose from for this week’s edition of Instagram Roundup.
I almost have no words for the dysfunction of last night’s Vanderpump Rules. Maybe Stassi Schroeder is aging in reverse. Not in that ‘she looks fabulous way’ of Lisa Vanderpump, but of the OMG – is she really throwing a toddler temper tantrum at her own birthday party. I think I read a Berenstain Bears book about that called “Too Much Birthday.”
Could Stassi and Ariana Madix buy a 2-for-1 therapy session on Groupon? Or maybe Jax Taylor‘s reiki healer can mend the hole in Stassi’s forehead by using her calming touch to transforms it into a halo of happiness. Is that medically possible? Jax and Stassi can skip off into the sunset together happy, at peace, alive! Kristen Doute would lose her soulmate.
Sometimes it’s not all diamonds and rose in Lisa Vanderpump‘s world. Sometimes the fancy parties held in her honor end in tears and the fancy restaurants she owns go up in smoke. Such was the case on last night’s Vanderpump Rules.
Lisa is now the Editor In Chief of Beverly Hills Lifestyle Magazine, which I’d always assumed was one of those free magazines, but because this is Beverly Hills that free magazine still is behooving of the fancy of Beverly Hills. Apparently it’s a thing people pay money for, which means Lisa wants a fancy party to celebrate her new position there. Makes sense. What does not make sense is that Lisa puts Stassi Schroeder in charge of said party. Predictably it’s a disaster.
I love when Kristen Doute plays pot calling the kettle’s bottom black. Like when she talks crap about James Kennedy for being desperate for attention, a user, and an out of control mess who loves to cause trouble, I feel like she must know she’s also describing herself.
Anyway, unsurprisingly, Kristen feels bad for James‘ ex-bestie Logan Noh following his revelation on Vanderpump Rules that he’s in love with James. Which came attached to a fake revelation that he and James have been secretly sleeping together. Well if there’s anyone who can keep up with the Kennedy, it’s professional stalker Krazy Kristen (she is never far away and always lurking in the shadows like a kritter).
It’s almost like Vanderpump Rules is a sociological experiment on modern love, right? Every other day there are new cheaters to eclipse the previous cheaters with crazier cheating scandals and bigger liars, all compounded by the ever-shifting relationships around accommodating these facts. Can’t anyone get in the right pants? Or keep their members in the right pants, rather?
Take for instance the evolution of Jax Taylor and James Kennedy. They’ve both ‘interacted’ with the same women (Kristen Doute and Lala Kent), which created a palpable neanderthal assholian hatred towards each other – like crabs in a bucket – as they battled over being too similar, but now they’re bonding over how much they cannot stand Kristen. Which is hilarious considering neither one of them ever seemed to like Kristen to begin with! And now, of course, Kristen is trying to destroy Jax’s relationship with Brittany Cartwright. Not because Kristen likes Jax (or has any lingering feelings for him), but because she loves Brittany (and once hooked up with her) too much to let her be ruined by Jax.
Let’s hope that Luann de Lessepsdidn’t log into Instagram after she checked out of rehab earlier this week. She might feel a little bit slighted by her Real Housewives of New York costars. They did some sort of jail-themed workout class, complete with mock mugshots. Shade much? Or is it a merely a coincidence? I’m going to assume that it’s the former and just hope that this ends up contributing to a story line next season.
Aside from those glorious faux mugshots, there were some other great reality star photos for this week’s Instagram roundup.