Real Housewives of New York City Episode 11 Recap: What A Kellamity

The Real Housewives of New York City 3

Being on a reality show like the Real Housewives of New York City is a pretty tough task and not for everyone. In my opinion, there are three main criteria in which one should absolutely not take part in anything “reality tv.” A – If you’re insane, B – If you’re crazy, and C – If you’re emotionally unstable. And when you happen to fall under all of the above, then you should absolutely under any circumstances not put your life on television. Unfortunately for Kelly Bensimon, the damage has been done. More on Kelly later.

Now onto to the recap in what is absolutely without a doubt the best episode EVER from the Bravo housewives franchise.

LuAnn – Fortunately for LuAnn, this had to be the episode where Kelly went bat sh*t crazy, thus taking most of the attention way from her tragic singing. And how much did she pay this producer to literally just lie to her over and over and over? After the whole Kim Zolciak singing debacle, I cannot grasp why someone who can’t hold a note would want to humiliate themselves on national television. It’s quite baffling to me. And while the end result of her song sounds decent, I can’t help but feel she is about two decades behind in her music. Perhaps she could have had a big hit in the early 90s.

Now onto the trip. We get to see Ramona and Sonja leave for the bachelorette trip to St John. While in the car, Ramona mentions that she is not surprised Jill decided to skip the trip because the trip is “not about her,” and when it’s not about Jill, she doesn’t like to participate. And of course since Jill isn’t going, her lapdog/underdog LuAnn won’t make it either.

The ladies finally all land in St. John and we find out Bethenny has just buried her father and is a bit raw emotionally. Almost immediately Kelly begins to unravel. Buckle up for the ride folks cause it’s a whole lot of crazy coming up!

The ladies are riding in a car on the way to their yacht and Kelly mentions she doesn’t eat pretzels because she does not eat processed foods. Okay makes sense, that is until she mentions her love for gummi worms, okay no longer making sense. Ramona asks her if she’s six, and Bethenny comments in her interview that “Gummi bears don’t come from the vine, those aren’t bears you see in the Bronx zoo.” In her interview, Alex also feels the NEED to mention that this is the first time she’s taken a non business trip without her kids since she became a mother. Thanks for sharing Alex, I’m a better person for knowing that lil tidbit.

Right away, you start to see the tension between Bethenny and Kelly, I would say most of it coming from Kelly, who seemed to have a bone to pick with Bethenny. Bethenny on this trip seemed more quiet and subdued, for Bethenny standards at least, so it was interesting to see Kelly keep escalating the tension. I would say Kelly was the “aggressor” this go around.

The ladies put on their bikinis and it’s time to eat. Not Crazy – Kelly shares she doesn’t like to eat in a bikini, and then goes on to get a cover up. Crazy – Kelly completely losing it once the ladies started talking about Jill. While it’s understandable that Kelly does not want to talk about Jill behind her back, she should have voiced that and then kept quiet. Trying to control what the ladies felt and said about Jill made no sense. Kelly reveals that she’s “normal” and the rest are “abnormal.” Bethenny tries to explain  some things to her, during which Kelly declares that she doesn’t care. Fair enough, to which Bethenny tells her she shouldn’t comment if she doesn’t care. Good advice considering Sonja was just as well sitting there, keeping quiet because she didn’t want to join in on the Jill convo. Kelly then makes her 2nd moronic comment of the night, when she accused the ladies of making “lemons out of lemonades.” Uh what Kelly? Bethenny explains to her that what she meant to say was “making a mountain out of a mole hill” as lemons out of lemonades means making something good out of something bad, which wouldn’t apply to the conversation being had at the moment.

Okay seriously, is this woman a complete and total moron? It’s quite baffling to me that someone her age could be this idiotic. Especially someone who claims to hold an English degree from the prestigious Columbia University. And by the way, it was revealed last year that she didn’t actually go to Columbia, but instead took classes at Columbia Extension College, something anyone can do. Bethenny said it best later on in this episode when she said Kelly is the most “unintelligent human being” she’s ever had the pleasure of being around. Couldn’t agree more. I’m pretty certain I’m losing brain cells just listening to her. I can’t even call her a bimbo. Her IQ would need to be about 100 points higher to be on bimbo status. She’s simply a moron.

Back to the recap. Kelly then continues to yell, and tries to make a grand exit through a closed glass door. While leaving, she snaps, “You guys are sick, it’s like you’re demented, see ya!” Ramona laments that Kelly doesn’t like to “feel” and I think she might have a point. Moments later, Kelly returns from her self imposed “time-out.” It’s so interesting to see Kelly being so loyal to Jill considering just how badly Jill treated her last year, especially at the reunion show. Something tells me had the tables been turned, Jill would have bad mouthed Kelly along with the ladies in a heartbeat.


The ‘Kellamity’ did not end there unfortunately. Kelly then took her one woman crazy show to a dinner outing amongst the other housewives. With Ramona out of the room, Bethenny opens up about her father’s passing and her feelings about him. Kelly then begins rambling in an attempt to get deep or dish out some advice or something. The discussion turns to sex thanks to Sonja and the ladies begin talking about one night stands. Must say Sonja needs a new shtick. The over the top constant sex talk is getting rather old. Some of the ladies including Bethenny and Sonja admit to one night stands, and in her interview, Kelly reveals it’s not her “style to have unprotected sex.” Apparently in Kelly la la land, one night stands automatically equals unprotected sex.

The ladies now start to open up more emotionally much to Kelly’s dismay, because “the whole feelings thing is like 1979,” and in Kelly la la cartwheel land, having feelings is so00o not cool. Repressing them and losing your mind on a random yacht trip on national television is apparently the way to go.

Kelly then accuses Bethenny of being a victim, and then once again brings up the whole fued with Bethenny from last season. Bethenny tells Kelly she needs to let it go, to which Kelly replies: “No you need to let it go.” Um what Kelly? YOU’RE the one who brought it up. Kelly then accuses Bethenny of defaming her, her kids and her family in the press. And for those wondering, no Bethenny has NEVER defamed Kelly’s family or kids in the press. Did she go over-board with the Kelly bashing in the press last year? Yes I think she did, but she never involved her family. I believe what Kelly was trying to say was Bethenny hurt her family and her kids by constantly bashing her in the press, but her low IQ and non existent brain cells would not allow her to make her point clearly.

I have said it previously and will say it again, I feel Bethenny went way overboard with her Kelly bashing in the press last year. Yes Kelly brought it upon herself with her words and actions, but Bethenny “won” that battle and should have taken the high road. That’s the thing Bethenny and Jill seem to have in common, they both don’t know how to “win” graciously, and don’t know when to stop. I believe Jill does this out of vindictiveness, while Bethenny does it out of insensitivity and ignorance, like she really doesn’t understand how hurtful her words can be to others.

Moving right along, the fight then takes a more juvenile turn as Kelly accuses Bethenny of being a cook and not a chef, only to proclaim seconds later that she doesn’t care about Bethenny, and that nobody cares. “You seem to care,” replied Bethenny. Sonja asks her why she said Bethenny is a cook and not a chef? “Because I don’t know if she’s a cook or a chef,” replied insane Kelly. Somehow a drunk Sonja steers the argument back to sex and Kelly calls Bethenny a “ho bag.” Bethenny laughs and realizes it’s time to leave the crazy show. “Adios lunatic, I’m going to the Hooters boat so I can see some real sane people,” laments Bethenny in her interview.

And just like that, I think I and other millions of viewers just witnessed a mental meltdown on our televisions. On the Kelly issue, I really can’t grasp what really happened to her. My thoughts last night were perhaps she forgot to bring her meds on the trip, mabye she wasn’t able to carry along her drugs and was experiencing withdrawals. I mean I really don’t know, but she definitely lost her mind.

Andy Cohen revealed on Watch What Happens that Kelly was really upset about this episode and blamed her madness on editing. Must say I love how these people like to insult the intelligence of the viewers. Anyone with half a brain can see editing was not to blame for that insanity. That was ALL you Kelly. As I said in a previous recap, I believe Kelly came on this season to be the cool and nice Kelly in an attempt to rehabilitate her image. She was not being authentic at all. Well unfortunately for me, it seems the authentic Kelly decided to rear it’s crazy head last night, and a part of me misses the la la land cartwheels Kelly. And unfortunately for Kelly, it seems this episode was just a warm up for her insanity. Next week’s previews look even worse than what we just watched.

Also Kelly cannot blame Bethenny for this one. This was ALL her doing. The funny thing is in my personal and professional life, I hate to ever refer to anyone as “crazy” but Kelly’s actions last night definitely made her look very crazy. There’s no way to sugarcoat that. Last night’s episode featured no Jill, and Jill, who apparently needed some attention, decided to tweet to Andy during last night’s Watch What Happens. Just like our Jill, to try to insert herself into a situation, show etc. I thought that was quite funny.