Real Housewives of New Jersey Finale Recap: Will The Real Clown Please Stand Up?

It is over! The very long second season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey finally came to an end last night.

The finale episode brilliantly titled ‘The Heads of the Family Will Roll‘ brought us the same thing we have seen all season. The others vs Danielle Staub. The others claiming they are tired of talking about Danielle, only to gather together and talk about her. The others claiming they want nothing to do with Danielle, only to arrange a sit down with her.

And judging from the previews of the reunion show, we have more others vs Danielle coming our way! Yaay us! Because seeing any of the others decide to disagree with each other, or argue with each other is simply too much to ask for. Though it would be nice to see Caroline call out Teresa on her irresponsible spending habits and $11 mil debt, however, these are moments we can only dream of.

Well folks, last night was no different in this long drawn out season. After stating all season that she wanted nothing to do with Danielle, Caroline decides to call a face to face meeting with Dirty D, bringing us the highlight of the finale.

The episode starts out with the Giudices cooking on their soon to be auctioned off fancy gas range which I might or might not be seriously considering bidding on. They are having a dinner party for all the families sans Danielle of course. A few minutes into dinner, Danielle is brought up as they discuss the charges against Ashley. The Manzos and Lauritas seem upset that Danielle is refusing to drop the charges against Ashley. And I have to ask myself, why should she?

Caroline mentions she wants Danielle to go away, and I once again ask myself – wasn’t Dina the one who asked to meet up with Danielle? Wasn’t Danielle minding her business when Teresa decided to confront her at the country club? Wasn’t Danielle walking away when Ashley pulled out her extensions?

Is Danielle a drama queen nutjob trouble maker? Absolutely! But the others keep contradicting themselves in their actions towards her.

We see Danielle at home as she receives a text from Caroline to meet up. Danielle immediately wants to know how the f*ck Caroline got her number, you know considering she went through all the trouble of getting a new number and going into the witness protection program to get away from her big bad scary co-stars. Danielle, who could have easily said no to the meeting, agrees to meet up with Caroline.

We get yet another scene with the good cop/bad cop Jacqueline and Chris as they attempt to talk some sense into Ashley, and this talk pretty much goes the same way all the others have this season, so moving right along.

Honorable sixth housewife Danny pays Danielle a visit, during which Danielle informs him of her plans to meet up with Caroline. In her interview, Danielle informs us Caroline formed an opinion on her without ever having a conversation with her. Based on this logic, we must all immediately delete the horrific sex tape images from our brains, and wait until our individual sit-downs with Danielle, before we can refer to her as a trashy skank.

Danielle then gives us a great quote, ” Caroline, you are not Carmelo. You are not a Soprano. So stop sending out your little brilliant ones to make it look like you’re not doing anything while you’re sitting there on your proverbial throne judging. Get a life.” I’m guessing ‘proverbial’ must have been Danielle’s word of the month on her spelling calendar or something. And no, Danielle is not referring to NBA player Carmelo Anthony, she means Carmela from the Sopranos of course.

We see Caroline as she prepares to meet with Danielle, during which her daughter Lauren makes perfect sense when she asks her mommy why she wants to meet up with the crazy lady. On the other side of town, Danielle is also getting ready, but this time around, she doesn’t involve her kids, instead calling up her “Energist” as they proceed to do some odd breathing exercises.

Energist – “There you go, did you feel that?”

Danielle – “Oh yeah, I always feel it when you start on me.”

Too easy, so I will move along. The ladies drive to meet with one another and Danielle lets us know she has no reason to stress because “there’s guys here with guns.” As Danielle enters the the private room to meet with an already seated Caroline, Bravo decides to tease us a little bit longer by cutting away from the scene. What the hay! I had to sit through 9 non-eventful episodes this season to get to the dramatic Country club episode, so what’s a few more minutes of waiting.


On the other other side of town, we see the Manzo/Laurita/Giudice clan gather together for dinner at the Brownstone, as they await the return of the Godmother. Drama ensues when Ashley mouths off to her mom Jacqueline, and the two get into yet another disagreement.

We’re back to the anticipated verbal smackdown meeting with Caroline and Danielle. Things start out smoothly as Caroline tries to explain the reason for the sit down. Things however take a quick turn for the worse once Caroline tells Danielle she’s puzzled as to why she isn’t dropping the charges against Ashley, especially considering her criminal past at a young age as well.

Danielle gives a good rhetoric when she states she was punished for her crime, and so should Ashley. Except Danielle wasn’t really punished, and instead copped a generous plea deal by testifying against others involved in her kidnapping/pistol whipping case. Danielle accuses Caroline and her family of attacking her, during which Caroline asked her to give an example of when either she or her children attacked her?

Danielle is at a lost for words, and then turns things around, asking Caroline what she had done to her. The exchange of words continue, at which Danielle accuses Caroline of having her investigated, adding, “How’s that going for all your friends that are indicted right now?” This seems to hit a nerve with Caroline, who then proceeds to call Danielle a clown.

Danielle goes on to give the funniest line of the night and perhaps the season when she replies, “I’m a clown? Really? You saying this sitting there with red hair?” Perhaps it’s just me but I truly found myself laughing out loud at this statement. Funny and unexpected coming from Danielle.

Caroline reaches her boiling point and tells Dirty D, “When I called you garbage, I meant that you were garbage!” Danielle decides she’s been called garbage one too many times and proceeds to get up, pick up her garbage bag and leave, but not before making a sorta valid point – “I was having an incredible life till you called me and your sister called me.”

Danielle is outside waiting for her ride, and at this point, I find myself secreting hoping wondering if Caroline is going to run out chasing after Danielle a la Teresa, but to my disappointment there’s no chasing or hair pulling this go around. But I fret not, as it seems Teresa will be doing a sequel to her country club class act during the reunion show.

Danielle returns home to her daughters safe and sound, and forces her girls to “say thank you” to her bodyguards. The youngest one goes to give the perfect strangers a hug while Christine extends a handshake. Something about this scene was a tad disturbing to me, but I will move along. We find out Christine is still modeling, and Jillian is working on a music career. “So that’s it, it’s finished,” says Danielle, that is of course until the June release of her sex tape, which Bravo made mention of.

We’re back at the brownstone and the others are excited to see Caroline, who might or might not be smelling of garbage at this point. The others seem excited to get some gossip about what happened from Caroline. Caroline tells her side of the story, and states she stood up for her family. Caroline goes on to make a good point, telling everyone if they were to go back, they would be on their own. Ashley issues a very fake apology to her mother and season two is finally over.

So I ask, will the real clown please stand up? Frankly, I believe they are all clowns in some shape or form. I mean did Caroline really expect her meeting with Danielle to go well? Did she really expect Danielle to drop the charges against Ashley? Did she really expect someone she called garbage to do her a favor?

Is Danielle garbage? Sure, but she also happens to have feelings and for Caroline to expect anything different than what transpired in the sit down is a bit ridiculous. And Danielle is a clown of course for many obvious reasons.

And bravo to Bravo for mentioning Teresa’s bankruptcy at the end of the episode. I must say, in my eyes, Teresa and Danielle are right down there with one another when it comes to their trashiness. And judging from the reunion show preview, it seems Teresa wastes no time in displaying her increasingly obvious lack of class.

A preview clip of the reunion show is below –