The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: The Never Ending Storylines

Onto episode 9 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta which brought us two major blow ups, a stripper named Luscious, an abstinent ring and Kaaandi Koooated Niiights!


As the episode begins, we find out that Kandi Koated Nights has reached a high level of success as the show now has a new home – Kandi’s TAGs boutique store. The guests on this episode include Kim, Sheree, Nene, and Cynthia. The sex talk begins and oddly enough, Nene seems to be the most prudish about her sex life, probably realizing this episode would be broadcast to millions of viewers months later on Bravo. Kandi wants to know the ladies’ freak numbers and who’s been peed on. In her interview, Kim makes it clear peeing is a no-no though anal is a-okay! And now we know why Big Poppa kept her on his payroll for so long.


It is now time for the highlight of the show as Kandi brings out a male stripper by the name of Luscious. Perhaps it’s just me, but as a straight woman, men parading around in thongs does nothing for me. Luscious puts on his stripper show, Bravo shows us his backside and Nene needs some therapy after witnessing his “humongous” package.

Next up is the runaway model bride as she continues to plan her dream wedding. Must say I’m still bored by Cynthia‘s never ending wedding storyline. Cynthia shows up with her fiance Peter and her best friend/stylist Kithe, who is just way too cool for school. Cynthia lets us know her event planner is a huge player in Atlanta as he has done events for the likes of Toni Braxton and Tyler Perry. Not sure what it is about Bravo housewives and their constant need to name drop. They all sit down to discuss the wedding and Cynthia wants Kithe to explain her wedding vision, but not before Kithe gives us a brief all in one resume and autobiography in his lazy monotone drawl. The topic turns to the wedding budget and Cynthia doesn’t reveal a figure, though we do learn it will be within the range of $1 to $999,999.

Nene and her friend Diane decide to visit the office of a divorce attorney. We find out Nene’s very serious about getting a divorce though it is now 5 months later and there is still no news or report of a divorce, or of her ever filing for one. Nene enters the lawyer’s office and wants to know how she can go about getting a divorce or moving forward in her marriage. Uh? I’m a bit confused at this point as I thought she was visiting an attorney and not a marriage counselor. I’ve been hearing some fans of the show wonder if this whole marriage dilemma between Nene and Gregg was played up for the show, and in watching this scene, I’m beginning to wonder as well. While I know it’s tough to end a marriage, especially a long marriage, my attitude is you either try to work it out or move on. At this point, I’m starting to get bored with this long drawn out “divorce” storyline in addition to Cynthia’s wedding storyline.

Next, we see the moral police and her 13-year-old daughter Brielle visiting a jewelry store. It seems Brielle, who has a boyfriend at the tender age of 13, has made a decision to get an abstinence ring because we all know how perfectly that worked out for Bristol Palin. Brielle and the professional mistress enter the store and they end up picking a $3000 ring for the abstinent cause. As the ladies exit the store, Brielle’s mother, who is now knocked up by her 25-year-old boyfriend of 6 months tries to negotiate a longer period of abstinence. “Twenty,” states the bad example, who is ironically recording a song called ‘The Ring Didn’t Mean A Thing.’ “Eighteen,” is Brielle’s counter offer.

It is now studio time with Kandi and she informs her co-producers that Kim was not a fan of the original song version. As the group puts their heads together, while also pointing and laughing at Kim in the process, they decide to dumb down the song to suit Kim’s tone deafness. One of the producers, Blue, makes an excellent point when he states that Kim is scared of doing the song, you know, as it requires the talent of singing to be able to hit the high notes, and all I can think is duh! I could have told Kandi this.

And for the 100th time this season, Kandi yet again mentions not getting paid for TFTP even though she did all the work. At this point, I just want to shoot my TV as I am extremely tired of hearing Kandi whine about this issue. I’m pretty certain I got the point the first 20 times she mentioned it this season. We can now add Kandi’s never ending whining to the third storyline I’m already tired of this season. Once again, Kandi has no one to blame but herself. She’s a professional and should have handled her business better. The song gets dumbed down and Kandi states she would be more than happy to give the song to another artist if Kim doesn’t like it.

It is now time for some comic relief aka Phaedra time! We see Phaedra and her hot ex-con hubby Apollo as they arrive home following the birth of their son. Apollo is glad Phaedra is out of the hospital so that she can finally stop bossing him around though something tells me that won’t be stopping anytime soon. The new parents arrive home and we see the Nidas leave their baby in the car, albeit not alone, while Apollo carries Phaedra up the stairs. Apollo eventually goes back to get the baby and I must say, there was something cute about seeing the good looking Apollo attempting to take care of this little boy. As Phaedra nurses the baby, she reveals her son’s name – Ayden Adonis Nida. For some reason, the middle name doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me. I asked last week which Bravo housewife was worse, Camille or Phaedra? The general consensus seemed to be Camille which I strongly agree with. While Phaedra is pretty awful and ignorant at times, there is still something humorous about her act. Camille? Not so much.

Nene pays Kim a visit at home and makes a good point in her interview upon learning about Brielle’s abstinence pledge. “The truth is you have to lead by example, especially when you have daughters,” said Nene referencing Kim’s many bad choices, mainly her never ending affair with Big Poppa. The two sit down to discuss Nene’s marital problems and Nene mentions she and Gregg had a big blow up after she told him she filed for divorce. Once again, there’s yet to be a report of Nene filing for divorce, hmm. As Nene continues to talk about her 13-year marriage, Kim decides to bring up her long term affair with the still married Big Poppa. Kudos to Nene for not losing her cool because surely I know she wanted to knock Kim out for equating her 13-year marriage to her affair.

Kim invites Kandi and her mother Joyce over to her parents home for a small get together. Kim informs Kandi about the leaked audio of Gregg trashing his wife Nene. As she plays the clip for Kandi, we see Sheree’s hairstylist Lawrence also informing her of the latest gossip while at the gym. In the clip, Gregg can be heard claiming he invested over $300,000 into making Nene famous and that he would like every penny back as the fame has now gone to her head. And I ask – $300,000 for what? Me thinks Gregg might have attended the Dwight School of Exaggeration, probably online. The background story on this is that Gregg owed a local radio DJ named Corey King some money, and began dodging Corey over the money owed. Corey then decided to secretly tape a conversation with Gregg as a means to get back at him. To hear Gregg speaking in that manner about his wife was a bit sad and shocking. He did not sound like a man who loved or respected his wife. Gregg did however apologize for his words a week after the audio leaked.

It’s back to the home of Kim‘s parents and her highlarious dad reveals he wakes up each morning and gets pumped up listening to TFTP. Kandi, in her ever so passive aggressive manner, tells Kim the new version of her song is ready for listen. The two head out to Kandi’s car and upon listening and hearing the very simple notes which requires just a voice and zero singing talent, Kim’s face lights up and she now loves the song! Kim lets Kandi know she likes this version and Kandi accuses Kim of doubting her though I’m not sure criticising the song means doubting Kandi. Kandi seems to have a hard time taking any criticism though I do understand her frustration in regards to Kim bashing the unfinished song to everyone.

Sheree decides to meet up with the fake doctor Tiy-E Muhammad to end their relationship. Tiy-E, sensing what is coming, appears very defensive as he rambles on and on about non relevant issues. He keeps accusing Sheree of interrupting him, perhaps forgetting the two are having a conversation. Tiy-E and the landing strip on top of his head then accuses Sheree of only wanting to get things out of him as Sheree wonders what he has ever given her. “Sometimes women just got to shut up and let a man talk,” states the “Love Doctor” who can now kiss his TV career good-bye.

Sheree doesn’t take too well to his comments and asks him to prove that he is a doctor. “Prove that you’re a woman,” is the douchebag’s rhetoric as he reaches into his pocket to bring out his folded up “PHD” papers that he got for a fee of $200, from a non accredited online school based out of Pakistan. The fake doctor, who was sweating profusely during his game night interrogation at Sheree’s home, evidently decided to get some balls now that he’s one on one with Sheree, as he insults her some more and then walks away. Me thinks Tiy-E attended the Camille Grammer “Art of War,” school and probably thought he won that fight by walking off.

It is Nene’s first day on the job and she does what everyone does on their first day at a new job, which is to visit a gossip blog and read a story about your personal life drama. And instead of closing the web page and focusing on her job as her boss comes around, Nene feels it’s appropriate to discuss the issue with her boss. Perhaps someone should inform Nene that she is no longer working at a strip club.

Nene arrives home from her “job” and decides to confront Gregg on the leaked conversation. Nene wants to know how Gregg gave her $300,000. “That might have been a little exaggerated,” replies Gregg (Geez, you think?). Nene makes a good point when she states she is his wife and that they have both done things for and spent money on each other. Gregg claims the conversation took place after they had a fight and that he said those words out of anger. Nene gets very angry and emotional as she states she has always stood by Gregg and has never done him wrong. “This is it between me and Gregg. We’re done. We’re over,” states Nene in her interview and the episode ends.