The second episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County aired last night, and unlike the season premiere last week, last night was more on the somber side, but still good nonetheless. After all, we did get to meet new gun-toting housewife Peggy Tanous, who is anything but boring.

The episode began with a vomit inducing home scene between Gretchen and her deadbeat boyfriend/professional pipe layer Slade, as I still try to comprehend why Bravo would decide to open the show with this scene. A shirtless Slade goes to wake up Gretchen, who reminds us that she and Slade have been together for a year and a half. Vomit. But it gets better as Slade is now Gretchen’s employee who gets paid in the bedroom. Double vomit. Except Gretchen fails to mention the fact that Slade does get paid from being with her via a check from Bravo. Plus, can someone please inform Gretchen that the sexual jokes/innuendos are really not cute or funny, you know, considering she made the same jokes last season and again on WWHL last night. Though the more I think about it, the more I realize these two are perfect for one another as they are truly one of a kind.

It is now time for mogul Gretchen to have a meeting with her very own Sweetie aka her assistant Shawna. Shawna’s crime? Not having Gretchen’s back during Tamra’s get together last episode. It seems Gretchen is still peeved about the princess comment as she brings it up once again. At this point, Gretchen is without a doubt protesting too much. I mean we get it Gretchen! Between building your empire, humping Slade 24/7 and not taking care of him financially, you are very busy!


Tamra and her good friend, who we had never met on the show or heard of in previous seasons until now, get together to have a friendly conversation. Tamra cries about her divorce and praises her new boyfriend. Then the two proceed to fake flirt, call each other biyatchas as I let out a loud yawn. Must say the more Fernanda scenes I watch, the more I understand why she got demoted from a housewife to an extra. Boring!

Next up is the funniest scene of the episode as we are introduced to new housewife Peggy via a walk in the park with pal Alexis. But before the two friends can even walk 100 feet, they immediately get into a my child is better than yours completion with a conversation that went something like this –

  • Peggy – My daughter’s potty trained.
  • Alexis – Oh yeah? My son was potty trained in like two weeks.
  • Peggy – OMG, my daughter’s a total vegetarian!
  • Alexis – Funny you mention that, my daughter love steaks. She once ate a whole cow!
  • Peggy – Well, my kid signed with a modeling agency while she was still in my uterus.
  • Alexis– Please, my twins rejected several modeling offers before they were conceived!
  • Peggy – Whatever, my little supermodel can count up to 30.
  • Alexis – My kid speaks 30 different languages excluding English.
  • Peggy – Right… But I name my kids after fancy cities I’ve never visited.
  • Alexis – And? My kids can name every city in the world!

Holy competition! This scene definitely brought the lols. It’s like that nutty Kristen Wiig SNL character come to life.

Back in Seattle, Washington, Vicki and her daughter Briana, along with her group of insurance agents, arrive for an insurance conference. Vicki feels flattered as she is introduced to the audience as being “psychotically persistent,” you know, very psychotic about her business just in case you missed the word psychotic at the first mention. Following the conference, these wild and crazy kids head back to the hotel room for a raging party. Vicki decides to wake up her sleeping daughter to come out and play, while her people continue to rage on.

Following her earlier scene with Alexis, we get a better introduction to Peggy, who loves her bling bling and lip gloss. But fret not, as Alexis 2.0 is not your typical OC housewife. Don’t let the bottled blonde hair and ginormous fake boobs fool you, because unlike the others, Peggy knows her way around a gun! As Peggy and her husband Micah head to a shooting range so that she can unleash her inner Sarah Palin, the two go on to do that annoying thing married couples like to do, which is bore tell the rest of the world their cutesy story of how they met. According to the Tanouses, while at a party, Peggy saw, smelled and conquered the rich Micah whom she suspected to be a playboy, but still proceeded to sniff anyway. And I wonder, where does Bravo find these people? Not that I’m complaining or anything.

Free bitch Tamra is now looking to assert her independence some more by finding a bigger place than the current apartment she’s living in. Her realtor takes her home-renting shopping before informing her that the home they are in was once lived-in by her new beau Eddie and his ex-wife. He then proceeds to point out all the places Eddie and his ex-wife did their sexy times… Okay, no he didn’t but he might as well have. “She’s long gone,” he assures Tamra. “Did she die,” asks Tamra, who unfortunately learns that Eddie’s ex is still alive and kicking. Tamra ultimately decides against the place because she can’t afford it she doesn’t want to be haunted by the yet to be ghost of Eddie’s ex.

Back in Seattle, the always overbearing Vicki is keeping busy by telling her employees how to cross their legs, trying to marry off Briana to any man with a pulse, while poor Bribri secretly plots an escape plan from her loony mom.

Later that day, the insurance group heads out bowling, some man flirts with Vicki, the married Vicki is flattered and welcomes it, while Briana would rather be under a rock. The next morning, Vicki has one of her employees order her a complicated breakfast. The poor soul has a tough time getting the order right and keeps messing it up, but fortunately for Vicki, it is time for her to leave by the time the spit-filled breakfast eventually arrives.

Next, Alexis puts on her face as well as fake lashes to meet up with Tamra for a workout session. Following the workout, the ladies head out to the restaurant/bar area to carry on a conversation while sitting under some very unflattering lighting which only seemed to accentuate Alexis’s duck lips. Alexis brings up Tamra’s new boyfriend Eddie, and Tamra reveals she’s trying to keep him under wraps for now, you know, until the time is right for a nude bath tub scene on national television.

The topic turns to Gretchen‘s behavior at Tamra’s party, Alexis doesn’t want to take sides, blah blah blah… The topic however takes a turn for the interesting when Tamra points out some glaring similarities between her ex-husband Simon and Alexis’s husband Jim. Tamra points out both men are very controlling and overbearing while Alexis sees her husband as simply protective and supportive. Tamra then asks Alexis if Jim really hates her. Alexis denies this but Tamra isn’t buying it. Tamra goes on to make an excellent observation in her interview, when she compares Jim not liking her to the way Simon didn’t want her around Vicki.

Bravo even goes one step further by showing video evidence of the similarities as Alexis continues to deny the obvious. “Jim doesn’t boss me around,” states Alexis as Bravo pans back to footage of Jim instructing his wife to pull down her dress. Oh, but it gets better. “There are times when I’m out of line that Jim has to put me back in line,” states Alexis on national television as another footage shows Jim commanding his wife to lower her voice. Yikes. I did feel a little bad for Alexis during this scene as judging by the way she was putting her head down at times, and looking away, I think she realized deep down that Tamra was speaking the truth. In her interview, Tamra reveals she wouldn’t bet on Alexis and Jim’s marriage lasting, and I must say I agree with her. Jim and Simon are unequivocally cut from the same cloth.

Watch What Happens LiveGretchen and Slade put on a good show. For starters, Slade claimed to have a job despite owing boat loads in child support. Slade then stated he would be in jail if he wasn’t paying his child support, though he was arrested for just that back in February 2009. Plus the most recent court case in February of this year revealed he owed over $138,000 and has his license suspended as a result. Sighs, I just can’t with these two anymore. I really think they believe their own lies and distorted perception of reality.