On last night’s season 5 premiere of the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger took a break from giving her unsolicited love advice to A-list celebrities to return to her day job of finding love for the single millionaires of Los Angeles. She begins the way she ended season four by bashing the singles of New York. Did she forget that is her home territory?

The biggest catch this season is not that Patty shrank 2 dress sizes, but that a certain heart-shaped rock is missing from her left hand. Yes, Patty is back to criticizing matchmaking everyone in LA including herself. Her sidekicks Destin and Rachel are in tow. I was glad to see despite the new single Patty, new office, new recruiters, and new city, that Destin and Rachel kept the same hairstyles.


In this season premiere, we meet two millionaires (am I the only one that sighed with relief when I saw there were no millionairnesses?) who both have their respective issues. Michael Donnellan is a tester who uses cryptic questions to decode if the girl is for him. Example- would you run topless on a beach? If the girl says yes, she is out. Now bipolar Gary Mancuso, the other millionaire, would probably throw the girl out if she answered no to this question. He picks his date because he wants to sleep with her the most out of all the girls.

Top 5 Best Moments:

1) Ugly cats – Michael caressing Grandma Wrinkles his hairless cat on his lap as he describes himself. Hello, Michael this is why you are single!! You have the ugliest cat in the world.

2) Slip and Slide – Patti revealing to the viewers that her downstairs is a “slip and slide.” TMI Patti. TMI.

3) The pickup line of the week – Does Connecticut still have the highest income per capita? Yes, Michael, random facts about states is the key to a girl’s heart. Good work, Patti!

4) Michael’s random Italian words – Thanks to Michael, I now successfully know the Italian word for whore.

5) The undressing of women at recruiting – Yes, Patti forces a poor girl to strip her panty hose.

This episode also featured the most uncomfortable dates I have ever imagined. For Gary, he took his lucky gal on a helicopter ride, but wait, this girl gets sick from flying! Good choice, Gary. Then we have Michael who thinks it is completely normal to do a photo shoot on the first date. But no worries it is not a dirty photo shoot, it is a gothic Wizard of Oz photo shoot! Awkwardness continues as the dates unravel, but finally both women are happy once they are back in their own clothes and no longer in the air.

Surprisingly, both dates end with kisses and future plans. Looks like a slam dunk for Patti, but wait! We have a showdown where Patti manages to kick out of the bachelors, not the multiple personality one, but the infamous tester. Thankfully, the episode ends showing the brains behind the operation Destin with his hair slicked back. Nice look! Both millionaires are having second dates, but there is nothing confirmed after that. This season looks like it will be filled with hopeful singles, but I am most hopeful to see Patti match make herself.


Hi guys, Katherine is the latest addition to our staff! She is an intern and will be taking on the Millionaire Matchmaker recaps. Thanks! – RT.

Click here to read our Comment Policy