Basketball Wives LA Recap: Jackie Christie, Pot Stirrer Extraordinaire



On last night’s episode of Basketball Wives: L.A., Jackie played puppet master while Draya tried to keep her in check. Malaysia previewed her jewelry line, and Gloria contemplated her upcoming (maybe? maybe not?) marriage to Matt. Laura did her best to dodge Jackie’s tirades, and Imani…well, she showed up for the last five minutes.

Jackie is confiding in Draya about how Laura has been talking badly about Jackie behind her back. Given that the ladies are all at Laura’s charity event, Jackie doesn’t want to start anything, but she wants Laura to know she’s on to her. Malaysia arrives and can tell that Jackie is upset about…something.

Of course, with Jackie’s ever changing personalities, the ladies are probably used to that. Laura praises Jackie on her outfit, and Jackie politely accepts her compliment with a pointed, “Thanks, you don’t think it makes me look pregnant, do you?” There are a few more pregnancy snarks from Jackie who is pulling up her shirt to show her belly, and Laura looks a tad uncomfortable while the other girls just look plain confused. Apparently, Laura has been dogging Jackie’s fashion sense, weight, and hair all over town. Um, what’s that whole pot/kettle/those who live in glass houses saying? I doubt we’ll ever see either of these ladies on a best dressed list.

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Laura is telling her guests how wonderful the store is but warns them that the clothing runs small, and she often has to ask for a size larger than she would normally wear. “No, no, I’m the large one, I’m the bigger one,” Jackie singsongs until being reigned in by Draya. I think Laura is starting to get the point. Laura is determined not to let Jackie steal the limelight at her event, and she plans to ignore her antics. Draya has to peace out early, so she enlists Malaysia to baby-sit a volatile Jackie. Malaysia suggests that Jackie sit down and hash things out with Laura. Jackie thinks that is a fine idea, and she’s like Malaysia to be there to scrape Laura’s a$$ off the floor once Jackie is finished with her.

Draya is starting a bikini line, and Jackie, her new role model (wha?) accompanies her to pick out some fabric. Draya explains her plans for a one-size-fits-all Brazilian cut bottom (bad idea, Draya. BAD IDEA!) which can only be worn by the most waxed of ladies. Jackie recommends that Draya design for a fuller figured woman. The women are looking at different fabrics, but none of them appear to me to be swimsuit material. Jackie once again confides in Draya about her beef with Laura. Draya hopes the pair can work through their issues.

The entire Govan clan is getting together for dinner to celebrate Gloria’s twins’ Christening. Laura casually tells her father that she is leaving for Orlando the following Sunday. The entire family does a double take, and she repeats herself, almost in slow motion. She is going to look at houses and schools close to Gilbert Arenas, so her children can be near their father. Gloria is a little floored by this news as it’s the first time Laura has mentioned it, but she intends to support her sister no matter what.

Draya, her mother, and her son head to the beach. She tries to convince her mother to move with her son out to Los Angeles. Draya does not want to move back to Pennsylvania. Her son, who is precious by the way, is on board, but her mother isn’t as easily convinced. Across town, Gloria’s fiancee Matt Barnes is hosting a basketball camp. The two share some flirtatious banter in front of the campers about a spirited game of horse and Matt’s dunking capabilities.

In an effort to develop her acting skills, Draya attends an improv class. This should be interesting… The first exercise is based on Beastie Boys rap where Draya manages to talk about her bedroom prowess while making a slightly stereotypical remark about Chinese people. Once Draya loosens up, she seems to enjoy the class, letting it all hang out. Also letting it all hang out? Her way too tiny jean shorts. Not okay.

Malaysia and Jackie go shopping for a gift for Gloria’s twins. Jackie is so above the drama and the behind-the-back gossip, and her new strategy is to be upfront with people. I assume that this means that if she has a problem with someone, she will tell that person instead of talking badly about them to others. Um, no. Instead it means she is going to sh!t stir tell her friends exactly what others are saying behind their backs. First up? Malaysia! I am sure Malaysia is thrilled to hear that some of the ladies, who shall remain nameless, thinks she acts better than everyone and puts on airs, when really she’s just some chick from Compton. Yes, Jackie, I can see this plan of yours working out brilliantly! Jackie Christie, peacemaker. Malaysia doesn’t care what the other ladies think of her…she’s just trying to do her thing and be right with God. Preach it, Malaysia. Love her.

Matt is chewing on what appears to be a pack of gum during his sons’ Christening. The boys are super cute in their suits. Gloria is in a white dress. The family is standing up in front of a preacher…Gloria thinks Matt may just ask to be married right then and there, as he’s such a romantic. Cue adorable montage of the Barnes/Govan crew followed by…crickets. All is well, Gloria claims. She knows they will get married some day, and that some day is extremely vague.

Draya takes her mom to dinner before she and Draya’s son go back to Philly. I’ll be honest, her mom is slightly terrifying to me, although she seems like a perfectly nice lady. She is certainly helping out her daughter by caring for her grandson. The next day, Draya meets up with her unlikely biffle Jackie. Jackie is starting her own clothing line (can anyone do this? I want one!) and she wants Draya to be one of the models when she reveals it to the public. There appears to be some holographic shiny fabrics paired with some faux vinyl…if there is such a thing. Draya is thankful for Jackie as a mentor, but she is sick of Jackie’s constant desire to gossip about the other ladies. She appeases Jackie without saying too much to her friend about the others. She saves her comments for her interview, saying if someone plays with pigs, they are going to get dirty.

Malaysia is working on her blinged out jewelry line for the kiddies. The designer shows her the pieces he has created, and the two decide to do a trunk show/focus group to get some feedback on the jewelry. Jackie and Gloria are shopping for golf attire for Matt’s upcoming charity tournament. As Gloria discusses the event, she mentions that she plans on inviting all the girls. “Draya too?” asks Jackie in a tone that implies there is some gossip about to come pouring from her mouth. Gloria admits that will never be bffs with Draya, but she is fine to have her come to the tournament. Jackie tells Gloria that she needs to discuss something with her…after the tournament, of course. Here it is! Unable to wait three seconds much less several days, Jackie starts in about how Laura has been talking badly about her. Get over it already! Gloria can’t picture her sister speaking this way.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum Draya and Jackie are meeting up yet again, and Jackie admits to Draya that several of the ladies still aren’t feeling her because they think she brings the drama. While Jackie doesn’t think it’s a super big deal, she hopes that Draya will just ignore the haters and be herself. Where do I sign up to be a friend of Jackie’s? I love manipulators! Jackie says she doesn’t condone violence, but Lord knows if it’s started, she’ll finish it. Draya asks for specific instances when people have problems with her, and Jackie is very vague with her response. Draya states that if that’s how the ladies feel, she can only be nice for so long. Aaaaannnnnnnnnndddd, a switch is flipped. That lone comment, provoked through Jackie’s ridiculous conversation, has alerted Jackie that Draya is a fake and a phony. She tells Draya that she’s glad the two have had their little talk, and she’ll always be there for Draya, even though the others are sure to get on her about it. Someone please get Jackie her meds!

Malaysia is doing a mini-showcase of her children’s keepsake line. Jackie is IN LOVE with all of the jewelry, which she tells Malaysia is surprising because she honestly didn’t think she’d like it at all. Meds? Imani (wow, I didn’t realize she’d been missing the past hour until now) thinks that Jackie’s gushing is a bit over the top and insincere. Malaysia isn’t fooled…she recognizes this is just Jackie catapulting herself into the center of attention. Jackie and Imani begin going off on Laura, and we learn that Jackie has told Imani that Laura has been talking badly about her. Stir away, Jackie! Malaysia tries to be polite while not saying anything that would constitute as gossip.

The remaining episodes of the season are equally as drama-filled. Jackie continues her vendetta against Laura, and the ladies take a trip to Hawaii. First Jackie gets into it with Draya, and later she tries to explain to husband Doug (bless him) that her cast mates don’t understand she’s the first lady of the m-f’ing league. Jackie manages to alienate most of the other women, and she and Draya are no longer the biffles of episodes past, well, maybe just last night’s episode. Gloria puts her foot down as far as master manipulator Jackie, and there appears to be trouble in paradise with she and Matt.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID YOU NOTICE IMANI’S ABSENCE? IS JACKIE CRAY-CRAY? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ALL OF JACKIE’S POT STIRRING? WOULD YOU BUY MALAYSIA’S JEWELRY FOR YOUR CHILD?

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