Basketball Wives LA Recap: Hawaii Part Two – The Island of Honoloony

Last night’s Basketball Wives LA picked up where last week’s drama left off…a whole lotta Jackie hatin’. With the ladies comparing notes on gossip the trip doesn’t go as smoothly as a relaxing trip to Hawaii should go, but hey, that’s why we watch!

Yeehaw! The tense group of ladies is heading horse back riding with a dry Draya executing knock-knock jokes about avoiding the drama. Jackie thinks the entire outing is fake. Her horse is very feisty. Draya keeps telling her that the horse can sense her bad vibe. Jackie does not find her humorous at all. All of the ladies, sans Jackie, are getting along and having so much fun.

Malaysia, the sisters Govan and Imani convene at the hotel for mimosas. Imani tells Gloria that her beef with Laura was based on Jackie’s twisted gossip and things between her and Gloria’s sister are cool. As if she could sense the women discussing her, Jackie walks in followed by Draya. Jackie immediately cuts through the small talk because she wants to rid the group of the mounting tension…but she seems very defensive.

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Laura begins by saying she feels manipulated, but Jackie interrupts saying that she’s a grown woman, so she won’t play like a child. Jackie maintains that everything she said Laura said about Imani was true, and likewise everything she said Imani said about Laura was true. Whew. Laura can’t get a word in edgewise. Jackie calls Laura a lying and manipulating M-F-er.  Then, when Laura won’t engage Jackie in her argument, she turns on Malaysia.

The two ladies begin a war of words that is mainly just a lot of bleeping. Sidebar, I love Malaysia’s scarf. Jackie thinks Malaysia is “misconscrewed,” and while I have to laugh at that I rewind to find that Laura said the same thing to Jackie. Is it just me, or do they mean “misconstrued?” It actually kind of makes more sense the way they are saying it. 🙂 Jackie claims that she only discusses the other ladies to help them. She then turns one hundred eighty degrees and declares her love for the women, and while not admitting any wrongdoing, Jackie says she hates that she ever repeated anything told to her by the other ladies.

Laura doesn’t even know who this Jackie Christie person is…but Jackie remedies that by telling the group her bra size, her love for husband Doug, the fact that one of her daughters hates her as well as her astrological sign (Leo, if you missed it). Draya bursts into laughter and then does her best Jackie impression. Malaysia distracts the women with the scenery and believes that the ladies just need to let the cray-cray be cray-cray and enjoy paradise.

Jackie follows Imani into her room to further bring to light her role as merely the go-between for her and Laura. Jackie reminds Imani that she knows what Imani said and Jackie did nothing more than relay that to Laura, and vice versa. Imani just wants her to leave. Elsewhere, in the lobby, the sisters Govan approach Draya. Laura believes that Draya understands what is going on with the group. I have to applaud Draya who refuses to pick sides. Draya likes and respects Jackie, but she doesn’t want to get burned. She plans to draw her own conclusions and Gloria and Laura respect her insight.

The ladies go shopping, Jackie fluctuates between being everyone’s biggest cheerleader or feeling sorry for herself and spreading more Laura hate. No one is buying it and I am kind of starting to feel bad for Jackie grasping at straws. I hate to see someone feeling like an outcast. After exercising their credit cards the women head out on a sailing excursion. Jackie tells Draya that her instinct is to help others and make things right. Draya wisely reminds her that it hasn’t been working out so well, maybe she should focus on something else for a while. Jackie’s integrity is often “misconscrewed.”

Draya doesn’t necessarily think Jackie’s lying, but she wants out of the drama. And God love Draya for using her entire hand to cover the logo on the can of beer she’s drinking so VH1 doesn’t have to go to the trouble to blur it.

Because Jackie doesn’t like to be apart from Doug for more than three days, he joins her in Hawaii. She unloads the situation on Doug who looks equal parts confused and exhausted, but he seems like a sweet and patient husband. Doug gives some pretty decent advice which both drives home the point and appeases his wife. She is, after all, the first lady of the league. Doug gets very tickled that Jackie wants to flog her friends.

The following day, Malaysia gets in touch with a fellow basketball wife who isn’t on the show. Wait, what? Besides Jackie, Malaysia is the only legit wife…did she tell VH1 that she had actual basketball wives as friends? Shouldn’t they be on the show? I digress…Anyway, this wife recently had lunch with Jackie where Jackie broke down each of the cast members with some not so nice commentary. Mystery wife even revealed Jackie tried to keep Draya as far away from Doug as possible because she didn’t trust her. Um, shouldn’t it be that Jackie doesn’t trust him??? It was Doug, after all, not Draya who committed to Jackie with wedding vows. Sixteen. Times.

As if on cue, Jackie walks in the suite. Malaysia confronts her with “bleeped out wife’s name” accusations. Basically, Jackie called Imani unstable and accused Gloria of sleeping with “bleep”.  WHO?? Inquiring minds hate the “bleep”.  The women want Jackie to leave, and she follows them, telling Gloria that she got the information about Gloria’s affair from Imani…no, her sister Laura…no Imani.

Jackie’s vacation is imploding around her. Her main beef is still with Laura and her feelings are most hurt by Gloria’s turnabout. As for Malaysia and Draya, they are just acting like children. Jackie goes to take comfort from her husband, and the ladies delight in a bashing session while enjoying a waterfall hike and a hula dancing lesson. The native teaching the girls about the culture explains that air from the nose is much more pure than the air from the mouth, because the mouth is responsible for vile words. You don’t say! The Christies leave Hawaii and Jackie plans to distance herself from her former friends.

The ladies are winding down their vacation with a relaxing dinner. Everyone is getting along now that Jackie is gone. They cheer one another, but are dreading the backlash which will happen when the group returns to Los Angeles.

Next week, the women are ignoring Jackie’s phone calls…including DrayaLaura has an announcement, Gloria references Matt’s cheating and the women once again confront Mrs. Christie.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DO YOU FEEL THE LEAST BIT SORRY FOR JACKIE? WHO DO YOU BELIEVE? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO IS THE BLEEPED OUT MYSTERY WIFE…AND WHO IS GLORIA’S BLEEPED OUT ALLEGED PARAMOUR?

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