Survivor Recap: The Final Five’s Honor, Integrity, Prayer & All That Jazz

Last night’s Survivor found the original Upolu alliance of five going head-to-head. Brandon makes a selfless and bold move, while Albert scurries to get ahead. His tribe mates are quickly turning against him. Plus, there is a lot — A LOT — of praying.

Once the final five head back to the beach, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants leads the group — in what else? — a prayer. Benjamin Coach is excited to see the alliances within the alliance come into play. Albert is starting to worry that Sophie is proving to be a major competitor. His move is to cozy up to Rancher Rick, who he deems least dangerous. Albert considers himself a rogue beside Coach’s cult leader status.


Ozzy and Edna rejoin the group to compete in their duel challenge. They must solve a slide puzzle which will reward them with a hatchet. Using the hatchet, they will release a bag filled with another cube puzzle, which is basically a reverse Rubik cube… no colors can be the same on any side. Ozzy quickly retrieves his hatchet and gets his cube puzzle. Albert is coaching Edna on how to complete the hatchet slide puzzle, which she does.

The pair is basically head to head now, as the cube puzzle is pretty confusing. Edna has the advantage as the Upolu is helping her every step of the way. I love that Jeff Probst keeps reiterating she is being assisted by the same people who voted her off — a.k.a. the same people that don’t want Ozzy to return to the game. In a heart-pounding second, Edna thinks she’s got it, but she has two reds showing on one side. Ozzy wins! In your face, Upolu! 🙂 Edna happily burns her headband… I think she’s thrilled to get back to the comforts of modern day living.

Albert finally reveals what all the viewers are thinking… there isn’t a lot of honor and integrity in a game where you strategize to vote off your allies. He hones in on BHCP in an effort to vote off Sophie. I must say it’s an excellent move because we all know by Brandon’s past rantings that he is as good as his word… unlike the rest of the remaining tribe members (Albert included). Sophie is very concerned about Ozzy on Redemption Island being the last person the most recently voted off player gets to see. She makes a very valid point — Ozzy feeds and comforts the person just thrown under the bus by their team mates, making for a very pro-Ozzy jury. She chides Coach into voting off BHCP and putting Ozzy with a loose cannon on Redemption Island.

Sophie and Coach discuss their plan with Rancher Rick, and now the player his tribe members claim to be “the most loyal and trustworthy” is on the chopping block. Albert then approaches Coach about getting rid of Sophie, as she is clearly a bigger threat than the puppet Brandon. Coach is unnerved seeing his former protege scramble so much. He finds Albert to be too wishy-washy… anything to justify his need to control his minions. Coach tells Albert he wants to get rid of BHCP, who immediately approaches the pair wondering what they are discussing. When Coach lies and says they are talking about jury votes, he then accuses Brandon of bullying him much like Uncle Russell. Brandon’s actions (I must have missed something? The kid just wanted a hug!) serve as confirmation to Coach that BHCP needs to get the heck out of dodge.

It’s immunity challenge time! Wow, these things just get more and more complicated each week! Here’s the gist… each player must climb up a steep wall collecting a bag of puzzle pieces along the way. There are five bags, but only one can be released at a time. After the player has all five bags, he or she must complete a puzzle which pairs matching pieces together. Three of the pieces will not have a mate. Once the player determines those outcast tiles, the tiles are to be turned over revealing a code. The player must then reclimb the wall, input the code into a box — unlocking it to raise a flag. Edna must be glad she missed this one! The reward is a delivered pizza, complete with soda and garlic bread. Done and done!

Brandon and Rick are in the lead with Albert trailing everyone. He takes a pretty big spill, but he’s still in the game. Sophie begins to slow down as Rick is the first to get all his puzzle pieces. Albert is still losing big time, but manages to pull ahead of Sophie before starting the puzzle. Rancher Rick is struggling with the puzzle as Brandon continues in the lead. He is the first to match his pieces and races to the top of the wall, barely beating out Coach. BHCP wins immunity! That’s going to throw a kink in a few folks’ plan. Brandon is allowed to invite only one teammate to share in his pizza. Rancher Rick is the lucky guy. Coach has some serious insane eyes when discussing how pissed he is that Brandon received a divine intervention. Whoa, I mean serious crazy eyes… perhaps I misnamed Brandon as Crazy Pants.

Ah. May. Zing. The pizza delivery comes via jet ski. Sophie and Coach Crazy Eyes are downtrodden, but they both now see Albert as the target, mainly because he is getting on Sophie’s nerves. She heads over to Rancher Rick and BHCP to “smell the pizza” so Albert knows he’s being discussed. Rick throws ol’ Albert under the bus, saying he’d approached him earlier about going together to the end. But wait, thinks BHCP, that’s what he said to me! Brandon needs to get to the bottom of Albert’s sneakiness after Sophie and Rancher Rick say they are casting their votes for Al at tribal council.

Brandon approaches Albert, and Albert and Rick get into it. BHCP can’t believe that Albert would lie to him and Albert is upset that Brandon is take the Rancher’s word over his. Sophie is watching it all implode as her breast is blurred out (thankfully) for the viewing public. Albert is working overtime to insure that BHCP has his back. After some thought, Brandon prays over Albert and offers his immunity necklace in order to keep him around. What? I totes didn’t mis-nickname this kid.

Of course, Brandon feels the need to confess his decision to tribe’s self-proclaimed father. He preaches a wonderful sermon to Coach about forgiveness, and Coach is rocked to his core. When did this show become such a dramatic battle between good and evil? It’s a med student, a rancher, a dating/basketball coach and these two dudes. It’s not Dante’s Inferno! “My soul has never grieved like it does in this moment,” laments Coach after a montage of prayer. No words from this gal!

At tribal council, the jury is looking freshly washed as Brandon immediately gives up his immunity necklace. Marijuana Jim (I’ve missed your immature, arrogant self!) is dumbfounded. Rancher Rick rolls his eyes while Coach looks to the Heavens. BHCP ceremoniously places it around Albert’s neck. Jeff probes about Brandon’s decision and Coach voices his disgust. BHCP reveals his gang past where his loyalty was often misused. I think Albert seems humbled, but he may just be a great actor. Jeff challenges Albert to make the same sacrifice for Brandon, but Albert feels like Brandon’s safe so there is no need to relinquish the immunity necklace.

Sophie doesn’t trust Albert as far as she can throw him, and Rancher Rick accidentally reveals that Coach has the immunity idol so he’s probably not going anywhere. Things aren’t looking too hot for Brandon at this point. Albert tells Jeff that he believes a now nervous Brandon is fine, so he’s going to keep the necklace. Brandon admits he thinks it’s his time, while Coach remembers his prayer time from earlier and knows the decision he must make. Coach is at complete peace, while Brandon is far from feeling peaceful. The jury is getting a great show at this tribal council!

Brandon and Albert both vote for Sophie with Rick; Sophie votes for Brandon. Coach is the deciding factor. Catch you later, Brandon! Geez, Rancher Rick, I hope that pizza tasted traitor-iffic good. Of course, Coach wins BHCP’s forgiveness by telling him it’s God’s will for him to win Redemption. Albert finds himself in an unstable situation,and Jeff reveals that the winner of Ozzy and Brandon’s duel will be back in the game.

This Sunday on the two hour season finale, Albert is basically excommunicated from his tribe.