The girls of Teen Mom 2 are at it again. They make a good decision, then they make two bad decisions. They seem to be on the right track, then they derail faster than Chelsea can whine that Adam’s changed. And the guys? Oh the guys! I know boys mature slower than girls, but COME. ON. It’s time to step up to the plate, with everyone acting like adults. There are children involved, after all.

We rejoin Jenelle Evans as she moves back in with mom Barbara after filing domestic violence charges against Kieffer. She is trying to redeem her failing grades and focus on her upcoming nineteenth birthday. Her mother seems passively supportive of her daughter’s efforts, but she is concerned that Kieffer will throw her back off course. The two both agree that Jenelle spending time with son Jace is the right thing to do.


Kailyn is adjusting to life on her own. With her new apartment, she’s getting more serious with Jordan. Kailyn reveals to her friend that she waited three months to have sex with Jordan. She’s proud of her decision to wait and is looking into alternate methods of birth control.  I feel like I may have grown up on the pioneer trail. Three months as a teenager is a long time?

Chelsea is recovering from her surgery and calls her dad to state the obvious. Adam isn’t a good caretaker. Well, slap me twice and call me Shelia! I am shocked! In her attempt to tend to herself, Chelsea spills water all over her bed. Good times! Meanwhile, Leah and Corey are enjoying the benefits of her new employment. She calls Corey and his subtitles tell me that he’s can’t go with Leah to learn the results of Ali’s MRI due to work. Thank you, television gods, for closed captioning. Leah invites her sister along as moral support, but she is unavailable… as is her mother. Leah thinks that Corey is more fearful than busy. I can’t say I blame him.

It’s Jenelle’s birthday and Barbara and Jace wake her up with gifts, including fix-a-flat and jumper cables, which Barbara finds hysterical. Perhaps, I should introduce Barbara to my dad who got me windshield wiper blades for Christmas. Who am I kidding? I’d last a day with Barbara’s grating voice! I will say Jenelle’s mom is getting less snippy and more encouraging… even if her birthday gifts are themed around Jenelle’s most recent home — her car.

Adam isn’t returning any of Chelsea’s calls. She seems shocked. Are you? Her sister isn’t, as she comes over to take Chelsea to physical therapy. Chelsea reveals that after a stupid fight with Adam he took off with Aubree and hasn’t been heard from since. The physical therapist asks how helpful her husband is… um, does he not have cable? While Chelsea knows she can’t take care of Aubree alone in her state, she’s beyond frustrated that Adam won’t communicate with her.

Isaac is with dad Jo and Kailyn is thrilled the pair is finally getting along. Jo confides in his brother Junior that he is also happy to be civil with his son’s mother. Kailyn goes to the doctor to discuss birth control to make sure there aren’t any Jordan, Jr.’s in her future.  Because Kailyn is quite forgetful when it comes to the birth control pills, her doctor describes — in detail — other options. I feel like I’m back in sex ed class, but that’s a good thing because it is supposedly MTV’s mission to do so. Kailyn opts for an IUD which we all get to watch be inserted thanks to the multiple cameras. Emmy award, anyone?

Upset that Corey can’t join her for Ali’s MRI results, Leah is extremely nervous yet she’s trying not to show it. Corey seems equally scared as he kisses his wife and daughter good-bye. Leah’s grandmother is joining her for the appointment. The doctor has good news and bad. There is nothing wrong with Ali’s brain (thank God), but one of her optic nerves is smaller than it should be. One eye could possibly be affected, but it isn’t a diagnosis that extends to any brain abnormalities. Leah, her grandmother and myself breathe a collective sigh of relief.

Kieffer calls Jenelle, and I want to reach through my television and slap some sense into her. Geez. The idiot She agrees to pick up her d-bag ex so he can turn himself in to the police. So admirable. Also admirable? Adam… who’s still not responding to Chelsea. Oh wait, he does respond with an “I am keeping her, shut up” text. Awww. Chelsea tells her sister she’s upset because she wants her daughter at home.  One simple caveat, she wants Adam there too, but only if he’s going to be nice. She thinks that his jerkiness makes her look dumb to family and friends. Ding, ding, ding! And the winner of doormat of the year is…

Kailyn is mature enough to get new birth control yet her new boyfriend isn’t mature enough to talk contraceptives with the girl with whom he’s doing the deed. Kailyn tries hard to discuss the topic like an adult while Jordan giggles, turns beet red and covers his ears like a second grader. Get a clue, Kailyn!

Leah calls Corey with the good news, but her grandmother and her discuss Corey’s absence from the appointment. They both believe he’s making a good living for his family, but they also both think he should have made every effort to be present for Ali’s diagnosis. Elsewhere, Kieffer tries to apologize for denting Jenelle’s car. He is quite good at twisting words while I’ve always thought that Jenelle was quite good at shooting things straight. Sadly, whenever you mix a master manipulator with a bleeding heart someone is going to get burned… and hint, it’s not Kieffer the manipulator.

After feeling less than stellar about sex talk with Jordan, Kailyn seeks out the advice of a friend. Just like the rest of the viewing public Kailyn, her friend is flabbergasted at how immature Jordan approached the situation. Kailyn’s friend chalks it up to the fact that boys are stupid. Tag line for season three, perhaps? Speaking of stupidity, Adam brings back Aubree and is met with Chelsea yelling at him about not bringing her food days ago… a.k.a. the “silly little argument” she referred to earlier when talking with her sister. Adam determines that a fussy Aubree needs a nap and he plops his crying daughter in a pack-and-play. Does she not have a crib?  While consumed with texting, Chelsea reveals that she’d really like Adam to start spending the night. Dr. Drew, do you watch the entire season? Can you have a special series (not just a reunion show) dedicated to those girls most in need (read: CHELSEA!)?

Leah and Corey are enjoying their time with the twins after receiving such positive news. Corey states the obvious that Ali was made for glasses, as she’s too freaking cute not to wear them. Amen. The couple talks about their options from here on out given Ali’s diagnosis. It’s both sweet and sad to see the girls with their parents knowing the outcome of that family unit.

Jordan revisits the sex ed convo with Kailyn and apologizes for previously checking out of their discussion. Is Mirena paying MTV for product placement? Jordan admits that his parents never gave him a sex talk, to which Kailyn basically replies, “Duh.”  I feel like the camera is about to cut out before the couple road tests her IUD. Eww.

On the way to the jail, Kieffer is laying on the guilt extra thick. Good gracious he is an even bigger douche than I could have imagined… and I have always thought he was reading ten on the douche-o-meter. Kieffer turns himself in… while lamenting to a conflicted Jenelle that, while what he did was awful — it doesn’t warrant jail time.  “Love you,” he calls out before heading into lockup. Oh, cry me a river you jackleg. Why? This show? Me watch?  🙂

On the next episode, it’s Christmas in Teen Mom 2 land. Chelsea wants Adam to join in her family’s festivities, while Kailyn struggles with her first holiday alone because Isaac will be with JoJenelle is conflicted as to whether she should bail Kieffer out of jail.