On last night’s Teen Mom, emotions, not rational thought, reigned supreme. I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘what else is new?’

Corey is working to secure a better job as a coal miner. He and Leah go to look at a piece of land where they could put a nicer trailer — it’s closer to town and the schools will better for the girls. Leah begins to look online for a new mobile home. Is Leah wearing a wig? Leah is excited to be a coal miner’s wife, especially due to better insurance and a closer proximity to Ali’s doctor.

Kailyn and Jo fought previously about Isaac’s child support and she is patiently waiting for his first payment. After a quick check of the mail, she receives a petition from Jo about why he shouldn’t be asked to pay that much support. She fills in poor Isaac on the discontent between she and his father, reading the petition to the toddler and explaining her side of things. I fully realize that the one-year-old has no clue what she is talking about, but still, I don’t think she needs to get into the habit of bashing Jo to his son.


While she’s starting a new job at the tanning salon, Chelsea is too upset to be excited. Not only has she not been studying for her GED, Adam has once again checked out of their relationship. She tells her dad about the break-up and he tries to convince Chelsea that Adam is never going to change… not to mention she’s miserable when they are together. She cries to her friend who admits she hates seeing Chelsea upset but is a tad glad that her friend is rid of such a douche. She assures Chelsea she’ll find someone better… but, of course, Chelsea only wants Adam.

Jenelle and Reefer are back on their merry-go-round of dysfunction. He broke up with her for texting an ex-boyfriend yet he keeps calling other girls. He claims she’s making fun of him and slams out of her new digs, a.k.a. Tori’s house. Jenelle and Barbara go to court to determine how much child support Jenelle needs to pay.  Thankfully the meeting goes well and Jenelle is happy to pay the $30 a week. On the ride home from family court, her mother tries to tell her daughter that she can do better than Kieffer, she deserves better from life and she needs to have more self-respect. Jenelle doesn’t want to hear it and blows up at her mother. I honestly think, even though she’s not always good at expressing it, that Barbara is truly worried about Jenelle and is trying to support her while doling out some tough love.

Kailyn attempts to talk to Jo about his child support appeal. Jo thinks she needs to try harder to get a better job so she doesn’t need his money. She asks him if he’s retained a lawyer, to which he replies, “You’ll find out soon enough.” Classy Jo. Later, her boyfriend Jordan arrives at the apartment in a very bright and distracting hoodie. Is he moonlighting as a wrestler?

Leah and Corey are going house hunting, but house hunting for houses that can move. However, Leah is disheartened to learn that Corey isn’t ready to move even with the new job. He doesn’t want to put all of their eggs into a basket so quickly. Corey wants to stay put and save some money. Good news though! He’s wearing a new hat! Corey thinks their money would be better spent on a new truck to travel back and forth to work. Leah is not on board. She wants a new mobile home… the truck can wait.

Because neither her father nor her friend will tell her what she wants to hear, Chelsea heads to mom’s house in hopes of getting some sympathy on her recent break-up with Adam. Chelsea doesn’t understand why Adam doesn’t like her, and her mother questions why she likes Adam to begin with — does he make her happy? Chelsea can’t answer, but instead insists that she hates that the more she likes him, the less he likes her. Looks like her mom isn’t giving her the advice she wants either.

Jenelle is admittedly a crazy, jealous girlfriend. She can’t stop nagging Reefer about the ladies he contacts. He receives a text from a number she doesn’t recognize and she immediately starts in on the fact he’s cheating on her. I would love to be able to reach through my television screen, shake her and legitimately ask, “What stupid girl would want to call your homeless jailbird boyfriend? You shouldn’t want to be with him! What part of homeless and jailbird isn’t resonating in that brain of yours?” Because I was unable to do that, Jenelle is left to get insanely jealous, insisting that Kieffer call the hussy in her presence. He maintains that he’s talking to some random guy who reached out to him via Facebook. Two things come to mind: 1) who gives out their phone numbers to perfect strangers (in this case  a cool “dude”) they meet on Facebook? and 2) (and even more pertinent) how the heck does this homeless guy have a phone and a Facebook account?  I am scratching my head as Reefer tries to exit the vehicle. Bad move. Jenelle pulls a Tony Stewart and flies off down the road, as poor Kieffer tries to pull his door shut, ensuring he won’t be splattered on the highway. She’s drag racing through Oak Isle crying about how crazy he makes her. He takes advantage of her first slow down, hopping out of the car to hoof it to… somewhere.

Even though she’s unsure as to whether Jo’s retained counsel, Kailyn decides she needs to speak with an attorney.  The attorney explains her child support options as Isaac cries in her office. The lawyer outlines Jo’s complaints, but she doesn’t seem to think that many of his concerns are valid. Kailyn is concerned about the actual hearing, but the lawyer explains how it will actually work. Kailyn agrees to pay a $350 retainer (What? MTV must be paying the other $650 because that is an unheard of amount!) and feels better about the impending court date.

Leah is outraged that Corey would rather spend money on a truck than purchasing land and a trailer to go on said land. Is there a stipulation in their contracts that they aren’t allowed to spend any MTV earnings until after all of their episodes have aired? It seems to be the beginning of the couple’s downfall. Corey wants a new truck? Leah will see that truck and raise him a new fiancee and another baby.  Teen Mom poker… it’s all the rage! She gives viewers a tour into some scary basement tub where spiders run rampant and the twin are forced to bathe in a dirty shower with water flowing from rusty pipes in the ceiling. Um, can I become Team Leah and say that Corey needs to get them a new mobile home stat?

Chelsea is primping for her first day at the tanning salon. Her mom watches Aubree as our career woman heads out into the world. At Year Round Brown (seriously, who could make this up?) Chelsea attempts to learn her new gig. Her eyes are glazing over. Chelsea is hoping to meet a tan Casanova at her new job after revealing to her boss that her “baby daddy” just broke up with her.

Corey’s parents are watching the girls while Leah meets with her parents to discuss the relationship with Corey. Her step-father agrees with her that Corey needs to put his needs and wants last while he provides the best life for his family. He is willing to start looking for a new home for Leah right away.

Jenelle’s roommate Tori seems to already be over her new housemate’s drama with Kieffer. Jenelle can’t stop discussing the phone call from that dude from Facebook his ex-girlfriend. He calls her and they get into a huge fight which ends in him hanging up on her… and showing up on her doorstep minutes later. Paging Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew Pinksy? This is both out of control and hard to watch. Perhaps Kieffer and Jordan should participate in a hoodie swap. Jenelle slams (and slams and slams) the bathroom door with Tori following her… I hope she’s going to ask for a higher deposit.

Kailyn drops off Isaac with Jo’s parents and goes to meet Jordan for lunch. The pair talk about how involved the entire court process is. She is convinced that Jo is going to do everything in his power to lower his payment. Meanwhile, Jenelle is upset because Tori’s boyfriend and friends have been partying in her house all day. Jenelle mouths off to her former friend and threatens to move out, taking her couches with her. Tori wishes Jenelle wouldn’t take out her issues with Kieffer on her. Kieffer arrives just in time for a girl fight between Jenelle and Tori which involves hair pulling and a set of drum sticks. Tori’s boyfriend and Kieffer can’t break up the ladies so they begin fighting as well. Seriously MTV, it’s funny to type it out, but truly it’s just sad that you put this on television to exploit these people who are clearly not smart enough to consider the consequences. I kind of feel sick watching this scene.

Chelsea can’t stop thinking about Adam even after a productive first day at work. She fills her mom in on the great first day but reminds her mom that she hasn’t heard from Adam even though he knew it was her first day. Her dad also is excited to hear about her first day until she starts whining/semi-crying about Adam no longer liking her. Again, where is the guy who can invent the machine that allows me to reach through the screen and shake these girls? Elsewhere, Corey is test-driving trucks while Leah is looking forward to test driving trailers… or test-living, not sure of the right terminology there. The pair gets into a uncharacteristic argument… and there is that stupid camo hat again. That fight didn’t end well… as we all know.

Next time, Jenelle learns that she’s on probation and Jo wants to meet JordanChelsea seems happier without Adam and the fight worsens between Leah and Corey over trailer-gate 2011.