Basketball Wives Recap: Mean Girls, Miami Bound

Last night’s Basketball Wives was all over the place – charity events, fake dinners, launch parties, and Central Park. Even better? The veterans can’t decide which newbie to hate on, so they just go back and forth between confronting Kenya and Kesha. Always in the middle? Suzie, of course!

Oh Jen, glad to see you again! Yeah, I’m just being polite. Suzie heads to Jen’s new NYC digs because she is bursting at the seams at to talk more shiz about Kenya. She shares the video shoot debacle when Kenya and her posse didn’t realize what all went into renting out the club. Give me a break, Suzie. She sounds like a twelve-year-old.

Kesha and Evelyn meet for dinner because Evelyn thinks Kesha is pretty cool. Kesha is hosting a charity event and she doesn’t want the same kind of behavior that Suzie brought to Royce’s event. Evelyn would love to support her event, but she doesn’t want drama if Jen is also invited. Kesha would like everyone to attend, but if she has to choose between Evelyn and Jennifer, Evelyn will get the invitation. However, Kesha is quick to remind Evelyn that she has no problem with Jen. She does relay her issues with Tami, and Evelyn believes those can easily be resolved if Kesha shoot straight with Tami.

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Suzie accompanies Jen on a photo shoot. Jen is excited to tout her new lip gloss. She’s incredibly proud of Jen and all of her accomplishments because, and I quote, “having her own lip gloss is a big deal.” Meanwhile, Royce and Kesha go for a walk in Central Park, and Kesha is quick to question Suzie’s behavior at the charity event. She wonders if Suzie is a big drinker and is uncomfortable with all her orgasm talk. Kesha and Royce discuss their situation with Kenya. They weren’t trying to bring her down. According to Kesha, the women were honestly trying to help her.

Kenya is preparing for her video shoot. She is a ball of nerves as her dancers and rapper are en route to the venue, but she is over thinking the criticism she received from Royce and Kesha. The group wraps the shoot, but I am wary of the finished product. What was up with that face painting? And the pleather bikini? And the half-a$$ed dancing? Did Kenya look like she was on Xanax during those dance scenes, or was it just me?

Jen is launching her Lucid lip gloss in retail stores. The launch party is at Big Drop NYC, with Kenya and Suzie coming to support her. Suzie is disappointed that the other women aren’t there. How is she ever going to get in good with Tami and Evelyn if she doesn’t hang out with them? Kenya oohs and ahhs over Jen’s line while Suzie’s face twitches over the fact that Jen is paying attention to someone other than her. The fact that Jen’s talking to the YouTube, Kool-Aid, can you believe she thought she could rent out that club girl, is an even harder pill for Suzie to swallow. No worries, Suzie plans to tell Jen exactly what she “heard” Kenya say negatively about her, so that potential friendship will be nipped in the bud.

Evelyn and Tami meet for cocktails, and Tami is not happy that she wasn’t invited to Jen’s Lucid lip gloss launch. The topic quickly turns to how unorganized Kenya is with her music career. Tami is incredibly offended by Kenya’s behavior at the “bizness meetin” that Tami took time out of her busy schedule to attend. The nerve! Evelyn doesn’t want to waste any more time on that newbie and changes the subject in hopes of smoothing out the differences between Tami and Kesha. Evelyn’s plan backfires, as Tami now see Kesha as weak and someone who talks behind Tami’s back. How’s that anger management working out for you, Tami? Tami vows to stay civil at Kesha’s charity event, but she will be hearing Tami’s gripes about her afterward.

Suzie and Jen go for a walk in Central Park, and they discuss how much they miss Miami. Jen reveals that her ex-husband, Eric Williams, has evaded service of process regarding the divorce. Suzie tells Jen that Royce has invited her to North Carolina to spend time at Kesha’s home. Perhaps she’ll meet a farmer? Please. Farmers have standards.

Tami, Evelyn, Shaunie, and Kenya attend Kesha’s fundraiser. Kesha hopes the ladies will keep Suzie under control. Bad move…the ladies are terribly offended. They know how to act at a charity event. I must have dreamed that blow-out, weave-pulling fight a few seasons ago that happened between Jen and Tami (if I recall correctly) at a fundraising event. All of the women are glaring in Kesha’s direction, and Kesha makes the mistake of referring to them as “Debbie Downers” to Suzie…because she won’t say anything. Shaunie is beyond insulted. If Kesha wants Debbie Downer, Shaunie will give her Debbie Downer. Tami is over Kesha and the event, and she peaces out before she can start something.

Evelyn and Tami are having lunch together, rehashing the events of Kesha’s fundraiser. Tami is over that girl. Evelyn needs a change of scenery. Should the girls plan to head back to Miami for a bit? Tami questions whether Jen will be invited. Um, no. Evelyn hates Jen and Tami needs to face the fact that she won’t ever hang out with both of them at the same time again. What a coincidence (or the fact that there is only one camera crew) that Suzie, Royce, Kesha, and Jen are heading South as well.

Evelyn, Suzie, and Tami are having a girls’ night with Kesha and Kenya…but it’s more of a three ganging up on one situation. I am sure Kesha feels very confused when Evelyn starts in on her, given that the last time they were together Evelyn acted like her friend. Evelyn brings up the beef between Tami and Kesha. Tami reminds Kesha that if she knew Tami at all, she wouldn’t have gone behind her back to speak to Evelyn. Kesha tries to defend herself by saying she was seeking Evelyn’s advice (and I truly think she was), but Tami won’t even hear it. Evelyn and Kenya are laughing, and Suzie chimes in to say that she’s been on the receiving end of Tami’s wrath. Perhaps if Kenya kisses enough Tami behind, she’ll find herself as lucky as Suzie…the girl the women only talk to when no one else is around. Score!

The entire table is laughing as Tami takes down Kesha. Suzie acts like Kenya is being rude right in Kesha’s face…yet she has no issue with Evelyn face down laughing in her salad. Evelyn backs up Tami when the charity event is revisited. How dare she ask them to be on good behavior…I mean, clearly she’s watched prior seasons. She had a legitimate right to be concerned. Kesha tries to explain that the event and the cause are very near and dear to her heart. That translates to the other ladies as “You don’t care about cancer.” Seriously? Evelyn and Tami leave the table, and Kenya tries to give advice to her fellow newbie. Suzie is glad she stuck around to see Kenya’s change of heart. It will be the perfect morsel to take back to the other ladies to prove how two-faced Kenya is. These women need to get a life! They are nothing but bullies and middle school mean girls. It’s pathetic.

Next week, Royce, Suzie, and Kesha make a pit stop in North Carolina on their way to Miami, and Kesha revisits being insulted when Tami didn’t think she seemed black enough. All the women dine together in Miami, with Suzie insulting Tami, and Shaunie trying to dissuade a physical altercation between Jen and Evelyn. Klassy!

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? HOW IS ANGER MANAGEMENT WORKING OUT FOR TAMI? DOES KESHA DESERVE THE FLACK SHE’S GETTING FROM THE OTHER WOMEN? DOES SUZIE ANNOY YOU AS MUCH AS SHE DOES ME?

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