Basketball Wives Recap: Dueling Toasts Back In South Beach

Last night’s Basketball Wives finally gave us some new venues for the ladies one-on-one and two-on-one chats. There is farm scenery and four-wheeling. Cocktails are enjoyed on a balcony, walks are taken on the beach, and I think I even saw some roller blades. Sure there were the regular bar and restaurant chats, but gracious, if they are going to stick to this format, I am thankful they mixed it up just a little.

The women are back in Miami, and mean girls Evelyn and Tami meet with their leader Shaunie to brag about their Kesha bashing dinner. Evelyn touts her $h!t sniffing abilities when it comes to getting the dirt on people. At least the first part sounds about right. Shaunie is having a birthday dinner and wants all the ladies in attendance. She admits to Evelyn that Jen will also be at the celebration. Evelyn knows she’s going to be uber-uncomfortable, but she’s willing to be in that situation for her friend…just don’t let her have more than two drinks. Tami asks to be seated across the table from Jen and Evelyn so she can watch all the drama unfold from the front row.


Suzie and Royce arrive in North Carolina, and Kesha picks them up in her granddaddy’s pick-up truck. Suzie is mortified. She’s not feeling this whole farm thing. Kesha’s accent is kicking. She shares some of her past and growing up in a small rural town and was sometimes the target of racism due to her mixed ethnicity. The women arrive at the farm, and Kesha’s entire family is blonde. After a quick tour, the girls hit up the ATVs and seem to have a blast.

Jen and Kenya are shopping for something to wear to Shaunie’s birthday. What in the heck is up with Jen’s Elton John wannabe glasses? The women discuss their drawn-out divorce proceedings, and Jen is quick to state that she is not cool with Evelyn at the moment. Jen seems to be a tad chilly towards Kenya, although Kenya doesn’t notice at all, she’s too busy to figure out how to be Jen’s new BFF.

Back on the farm, we’re introduced to a few more of Kesha’s family members and learn more about her upbringing. Suzie is starting to come around to Kesha after getting to know her better. I think the women initially perceived that Kesha thought she was better than the other ladies. I honestly think she just has manners and isn’t going to stoop to the drama classless cattiness. She certainly wasn’t raised to feel entitled from what we saw on the farm. Kesha takes Suzie and Royce to a local antique shop, and Suzie and Kesha fill Royce in on the ladies’ last night in New York. Royce offers to talk to Tami in an attempt to smooth things over.

Tami goes over to Jen’s new condo, and she immediately starts in on Jen about not inviting her to the Lucid launch. Jen does an amazingly terrible job of pretending it slipped her mind and acts like she just feels oh so horrible. How could she have forgotten? Is Tami sure she wasn’t invited? Funny, as soon as it “dawns” on Jen–what a fake facial expression she made!–she asks if Shaunie was upset too. So she thinks they invited them but then automatically assumes that if she forgot Tami she must have forgotten Shaunie as well? I don’t buy it. Tami tries to convince Jen to talk things out with Evelyn, although Jen isn’t really on board with that suggestion.

Suzie and Jen take a stroll down South Beach, and Suzie fills Jen in on her visit with the hillbillies and rednecks. God, just when Suzie starts to become barely tolerable. Luckily, the rednecks proved to Suzie that not all hillbillies are racist, so she’s cool with Kesha. It’s now Kenya who is on Suzie’s list. Royce tries to talk to Tami about her treatment of Kesha, but Tami will not be swayed. I do like how Royce is able to approach an unapproachable Tami, even if she doesn’t get the result she had hoped.

Evelyn is meeting with Baby, who is the CEO of Cash Money Records, about a potential book deal. As we all know, it works out in Evelyn’s favor. His partner Slim looks super excited. Are we sure he’s breathing? Across town, Shaunie meets up with Jen, they have cocktails and discuss her blow-up with Evelyn. Shaunie questions Jen about her new Hollywood lifestyle and not maintaining contact with the other ladies. Jen admits that she has “metamorphed” (gracious) into a different person now that she is newly single. Shaunie invites Jen to her birthday dinner with the disclaimer that Evelyn will be in attendance. As long as the drinks are “flowing and not throwing” Jen will consider it.

The women converge on the restaurant, and Jen hopes the ladies can enjoy a drama free evening. Evelyn puts a lot of effort into purposely ignoring Jen. After Shaunie thanks her guests for coming, Kenya stands to make a long-winded speech, expressing her appreciation to Shaunie for making her part of something so special where she doesn’t have to hide in her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s shadow and people will get to see the real her and – is she still talking? The ladies can’t contain their laughter, and Suzie pipes up that all of their bank accounts have Shaunie to thank…isn’t that right Tami? Now you’re off food stamps – yea! Oh no she didn’t! Suzie is lucky she is sitting far away from Tami, and I am worried that Shaunie is going to suck a martini olive up her nose as her nostrils are flaring tremendously in shock.

Suzie goes over to apologize, but Tami quickly puts her in her place. So much for Tami’s theory that she wouldn’t be part of the night’s drama for once. Suzie is so drunk, she doesn’t quite know what’s going on, and now it’s Jen’s turn to laugh at the craziness. Evelyn tries to break up the tension by offering to do a toast. This should be good! She gives a tearful toast to Shaunie and basically thanks her for being the kind of friend that Jen hasn’t been. Jen gives a toast explaining that due to her divorce, she’s changing and advancing, some may even say “metamorphing”, and oh, yeah, happy birthday. Not to be outdone, Evelyn gets up, yet again, to make another toast. Dueling toasts? What is this…as scene from Bridesmaids? Evelyn toasts to loyalty and not talking smack about one another on blogs. Shaunie tries to bring this toast to a quick close. Jen asks if they can toast to people who aren’t disrespectful…so much for the two not speaking, now Evelyn is shouting at Jen at the top of her lungs. Happy birthday, Shaunie! Shaunie tries to lead Evelyn out of the restaurant, and of course, Evelyn takes the opportunity to smack Jen upside the head with her clutch on the way outside. The older women at the next table watch on with priceless expressions.

Next week, it’s the battle of the newbies, and Kenya meets with Evelyn and Tami to prove how sincere she is, while Kesha and Kenya get into it once again.