Dance Moms Miami Recap: Are the Dancers More Mature Than the Moms? Duh!

After the second episode of Dance Moms: Miami, I must stick to my brazen statement that I like this one more than the original.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Abby Lee and the crew, but that was just a crazy dance instructor and some pseudo-normal moms (for the most part…for the most part).  I LOVE Victor and Angel.  I love that they are passionate about what they do, but they are not hateful and crazy—unless they are dealing with these basketcase mothers.  They blatantly call the women insane, and it is fabulous.

Last night we started with my man Lucas at the top of the list, mainly for not dropping Kimmy during the pair’s duet.  Kimmy’s mom is thrilled see her place second, although Kimmy thinks a tie would have been more appropriate.  Sammy isn’t keen on being third, and Susan is in tears that Jessi’s name must be in the bottom two.  Jessi placed second in her solo for Pete’s sake!  Hannah takes the fourth spot, even though Angel and Victor cite her improvement.  Jessi fell from the number one spot last week to last on the list.

Victor blames Jessi’s poor sportsmanship for the drastic turn of events.  She is in tears but has nothing to say for herself.  Susan is livid.  The only reason Jessi snatched the trophy out of Hannah’s hands was because Hannah wouldn’t give it to her when she asked for it.  Because that makes it all right?  The girl is fourteen-years-old having a spat with a ten-year-old?  Susan tells Debi that both of their daughters are to blame, and Debi won’t hear any of it.  The women are screaming at each other, and Angel tries to remind them that they are behaving this way in front of their children.  He refers to them as psychotic b*tches, and he is definitely on to something.  Susan takes  Jessi outside, stating that her past behavior has been an embarrassment.  Hmm…I wonder if Jessi isn’t thinking the exact same thing!  Susan instructs her to go back into the studio and apologize to Victor, Hannah, and her other fellow dancers.

The competition this week is in Long Beach, California.  The group dance is revisiting jazz-funk, and Lucas scores a solo.  Sammy and Hannah are also going to be dancing solo numbers.  Debi is so excited that Hannah will be competing against her other arch nemesis, Sammy.  The group dance centers around “party boy” Lucas, new in the city.  Jessi returns  and Angel makes her apologize to the group.  Victor comforts her because hey, she didn’t choose her cuckoo mother.  Angel thinks Victor is reinforcing bad behavior.  Susan tries to apologize to Angel, and he rakes her over the coals.  It was pretty awesome.  He makes no secret of thinking she’s five-star crazy.

After a mediocre group dance practice, Angel promises to pull out of the competition if they don’t show vast improvement.  Hannah is doing a contemporary solo.  I know nothing about dance, so while she is probably amazing, the choreography reminds me of something Chuck Norris would do.  Sammy will be dancing a jazz solo, and little Lolita is sporting some bright red lipstick.  Angel dislikes Victor’s choreography and their arguing is placing more stress on Sammy.  Lucas’ solo is entitled “I Believe in Something” and it’s lyrical.  Basically it is just a lot of sad dancing by my little Biebs.  The mothers just look on from their sofas providing meaningless commentary.  Victor declares Lucas to be “amazing.”

The jazz-funk group dance is one hot mess.  Susan thinks Victor has PMS.  Ani has no problem with Victor yelling at Kimmy.  After all, football coaches yell at their players.  This is no different.  Angel has had enough of the group being off-beat, and he dismisses them…basically stating that he can’t stand the sight of them.  Victor is peeved, as clearly they need this time to practice.  Angel wins, per the usual.

Debi’s older daughter is home from college, and Debi reveals that Abby has joined the studio.  The scandal!  Basically Hannah’s mother and sister are talking about how she wasn’t nearly as good a dancer at her old studio while talking smack about another tween.  I could maybe understand tween dissing tween, but this woman is just as ridiculous as Susan.  These ladies are clearly living vicariously through their poor daughters!

Angel tries to a team building exercise the following day where the kids basically tell each other how each feels about their fellow classmates.  The mothers look curiously from their perch on the sofas…they have never seen anything like this before.  Angel then instructs Jessi to tell her mother what Susan needs to improve upon as far as behavior.  Oh snap!

The mothers watch Hannah rehearse, and both Debi and Abby’s horns are showing.  These two dislike the others’ daughters more than the girls dislike each other…which, for the record, they seem to be fine but slightly competitive.  Sammy’s practice time is cut short due to drama between Victor and Angel.  Angel has stepped in to tweak Victor’s choreography.  It’s a good thing that Kimmy’s mom can read lips through the glass partition so that the women can follow the disagreement.


The crew arrives in Long Beach, and Angel is concerned that nearby Hollywood will bring some fierce competition.  Hannah dances first, and she wants to beat Sammy…I wonder who planted that notion in her little head?  Her music is not properly cut, so Victor instructs her to improvise if need be.  She does a great job and has Jessi, Lucas, and Sammy waiting in the wings to sing her praises.  Lucas is a limber little dude, and he totally believes in something, that’s for sure.  You can tell the judges love him.  Sammy is nervous as both Lucas and Hannah had wonderful performances.  Her mother, however, announces that Sammy knows she’ll end up in the top spot.  Sammy certainly struts her stuff…Lucas describes her dance as “stunning.”  What a little stud.

After the solos, Angel is harder on Sammy’s performance than the other two.  Susan approaches Victor and Angel in front of the other moms and dancers.  She reminds them that her daughter is by far the best dancer, and could they pretty, pretty please register Jessi for an improv solo?  Victor doesn’t think it would be fair to the rest of the group, and he wants to stick to the original plan.  Abby gets upset that Susan is comparing all the dancers within earshot of everyone, and Victor grows impatient with Susan’s chatter until she storms out of the room.  Bye-sies!

Hannah places fourth among the soloists, scoring six points shy of a perfect score.  Hannah is shocked and excited.  Lucas lands second place.  He is sporting Bieber’s skull cap and Victor’s hair.  Sammy takes first place.  Abby is quick to point out that her daughter beat Hannah.  Get a life!  Victor is just thrilled that his choreography won the top spot.  Victor’s mother expresses her hopes that Jessi should be at the top of the list, as she’s Mayra’s favorite.  Sammy cops a little ‘tude with Mayra, stating that she can do all the moves Jessi can do.  The tiff is cut short due to the group dance, and Kimmy is worried she’s going to forget some of the choreography.

Lucas is a little ham, and the group number looks flawless to me.  Of course, they place first.  Jessi ends up with the trophy yet again.  Kimmy gets big props for remembering her part.  Mayra gives a backhanded compliment to Hannah which sets off Debi.  She in turn insults Bridgette and Abby.  Bridgette screams that she would be embarrassed if Lucas placed fourth.  That was a tad uncalled for, don’t you think?

Next week, Abby and Susan are at odds, while Victor and Angel try to build up the kids’ self esteem despite their crazy moms.  Abby questions the Angel and Victor about an attempt by Debi to sabotage Sammy’s solo.


[Photo Credit: Scott Gries]