Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Winning By A Nose

Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice felt like a placeholder in between far more exciting episodes. The last two weeks were so exciting that I guess we needed a break before the real stuff starts. This needs to step up, because Sunday nights are too competitive. In any case, the Trumps certainly needed another product placement turn, since Ivanka’s fashion line has been all but forgotten at this point by most viewers.

This time, it was the Donald’s turn, and he got to shill for his new fragrance, “Success by Trump” Or as I like to call it, “Success after declaring bankruptcy and putting your family’s name on just about anything.” Both teams had to create an in-store display and slogan to promote the brand at Macy’s. On team Unanimous, looking so sad with just three members, Aubrey O’Day stepped up to the PM plate, and on team Forte, Clay Aiken took over. Penn Jillette talking-heads that he is going to bow out in order to become the celebrity apprentice. Remember that part!

The assignment is given out in Trump’s magnificently tacky home, the amount of gold just in the room the cast is standing in could probably be used to feed several third-world nations, but who cares when Donald needs everything to sparkle? Moving on to the war room, Clay already started to get annoyed at Penn and all his IDEAS. Dayana Mendoza immediately comes up with a super sexual idea of having nude women wear ties in the photos for the display. I’m not surprised that Dayana comes up with stuff like this; if you ever watch television from her home country of Venezuela, everything is all about innuendo and double entendre. The girl simply can not help it!


Moving on to Forte, can we first talk about Aubrey’s hair in this episode? Do we think she stood in front of a fan to create her wolf-esque locks this week? What is her stylist doing to her? It’s time for an intervention. As usual, Arsenio Hall is frustrated with Aubrey for completely taking charge. If Aubrey were less all about herself, she would use the smart Arsenio as an ally and rein Teresa Giudice in, who has her savvy, but is not on the same level as the other two. But that’s what I would do.

Unanimous settles on “You earned it” as their slogan, which Clay doesn’t really like, but everyone else likes it, so he decides to just go with it. Penn goes on to take over the design of the display, and naturally Dayana ends up being “the face” of their campaign. Finally, something just for her, which Lisa Lampanelli can’t have a complete breakdown over.

Over on Forte, Aubrey struggles with Arsenio and Teresa, and complains to Eric Trump that she’s a “team of one” and that her teammates don’t have anything to add and are having a hard time with the “very simple tasks” she gave them. She stands around looking like a mad woman as she watches their display being built. From the other view of things, sometimes very domineering people forget just how domineering they are and don’t realize that it’s because of them that no one else is contributing. On the other hand, Teresa and Arsenio should not be suffering from bouts of shyness at this point.

Of both displays, Forte’s seemed a bit weird and all over the place. Clay was caught off-guard when the execs asked for a longer presentation, whereas Unanimous had this in the bag, with a great preso by Arsenio, Teresa, and Aubrey. It was pretty clear that Aubrey was going to take home the win. There was yet another misunderstanding between her and Arsenio in the boardroom, but no more c-word tantrums.

Forte, the bad luck charm, just can not win. The execs hated Penn’s “You earned it” slogan and Donald canned Penn because of it, thought he “wanted” to fire Dayana, who at this point has been in the boardroom on the chopping block more than anyone in Apprentice history. It would be truly hilarious if she just won this whole thing (but she’ll probably go next week when she returns as PM).

I’m sad to see Penn go, but honestly this show was beneath him. Now, I’m thinking either Lisa or Aubrey vs Clay for the finale.