Basketball Wives Recap: Swimming With Sharks…On Land

On last night’s Basketball Wives, the women headed to Tahiti where all hell breaks lose and someone’s anger management backslides…big time.  But first, a little daughter-daddy dramatics!

Royce, Royce, Royce.  We resume with Royce Reed bawling to her father.  She just wants to hear her father say he’s proud of her.  Is that too much to ask?  Can Royce please get a hug?  Geez, her dad was just trying to give her some fatherly advice on how not to look like she jumps from man to man for attention.  Yet here she is, begging her father for attention.  Daddy issues, perhaps?


Speaking of issues, Tami Roman heads to her anger management counselor.  She reveals that she’s proud of how she approached Suzie Ketcham after the food stamps comment.  Tami’s also been playing peacemaker (or at least attempting to) between Evelyn Lozada and Jenn Williams.  Tami isn’t keen on how she dealt with Kesha Nichols after asking if she was white, but she’s excited that she didn’t haul off and smack her, because that is a leaps and bounds improvement over her typical behavior.  The counselor gently reminds Tami that it really isn’t okay to get into physical altercations with people.  Good advice!

Royce is lunching with her dad and boyfriend Dezmon Briscoe.  This ought to be a tension-free lunch.  Royce’s dad does so love her taste in gentlemen.  Dezmon arrives mid-lecture, and he immediately is put in the hot seat.  Royce goes ballistic when her dad asks Dezmon if he thinks she’s too needy.  Dezmon admits that there are times when Royce is around a bit too much.  Ouch!  Royce gets super defensive…promising to go back to the “old Royce.”  Her father chastises her childish behavior and tells Dezmon he needs to continue to tell his daughter like it is.  Royce is over this (too?) tough love, and she storms out of the restaurant.  Dezmon follows a crying Royce out of the restaurant where he finds her on the phone with her mother.  She really isn’t doing a very good job of playing down this “neediness” aspect, is she?  Dezmon admits he’s tried to tell her, and he’s always met with tears or defensiveness.  Shocking.  Please stop whining, Royce…I was really enjoying you this season!  Royce’s disgruntled dad is forced to eat solo.

Evelyn is taking care of ailing Chad Ochocinco.  She wants to know where they should go on their honeymoon, but Chad gets on her for selfishly thinking about a trip when he’s deathly ill…with a mild fever.  He seems to love joking around about her being a gold digger, having baggage, and reminding her of all the merry-go-round of women he’s been with in his life.  She thinks he’s so silly and crazy.  Chad tells her she’s super lucky to have a chocolate man, or some such nonsense…he really needed subtitles during that scene.

Tami and Evelyn go shopping and discuss Tami’s anger management.  Tami is hoping that Evelyn will jump on that bandwagon.  Sidebar, what is Evelyn wearing?  Does she have a toga party later?  When Evelyn expresses an interest in seeing a counselor, Tami is quick to encourage her.  Tami thinks that Kesha’s life was saved because of what she’s learning.  She is a bit concerned that she won’t be able to hold her tongue once the crew is stuck together in Tahiti.  Foreshadowing, much?

Queen Shaunie O’Neal, Suzie, Tami, Evelyn, and Kesha arrive in the tropics.  Shaunie has no clue where Jenn and Kenya Bell are, and quite frankly, she doesn’t care.  Kesha has a bit of a cough, and on the van ride to their ferry, she receives a not so friendly lesson on how to properly cover her mouth from Tami.  Tami pretends to punch an assuming Kesha in the back of the head while Evelyn and Shaunie giggle like middle schoolers.  But no, they aren’t bullies…Suzie is hoping that the tension between Tami and Kesha–actually the tension Tami was pouring on Kesha–will subside so the group can have a nice vacation.  The bungalow is amazing, and Shaunie and her hair toast the group.  Kesha thanks her highness hostess for being included which garners snickers from the peanut gallery.  Tami and Suzie clink classes for Royce, which sends Shaunie and Evelyn walking away with eyes rolling.  How old are these women?

Over dinner, Suzie has a brilliant plan to plant smelly dead fish in Kenya’s room when she arrives.  The always classy, never a mean girl Shaunie can’t top laughing at this idea.  Want to issue another statement, my dear?  Suzie loves to stir the pot, so she follows up her fish plan by bringing up JennEvelyn believes Jenn is where she is now because of their friendship, and she thinks Jenn needs to stop running her mouth, and her twitter account, about things if she wants to avoid future smacks and purse whacks.  Tami is kind of over Jenn as well since she’s brought in the law just because she assaulted.  I mean, who does that?  Kesha makes a rookie mistake, and asks the women to play a warm and fuzzy game over dessert.  These women don’t do warm and fuzzy, Kesha.  Haven’t you learned that by now?

The “ladies” head out on a boat to go swimming with sting rays and the occasional shark.  Suzie shares that she got a text from Jenn, and she and Kenya will be joining the group the following day.  Evelyn and Tami are not going to be getting in the water…oh hell no!  Of course, when Kesha gets scared to head out into shark infested waters, Tami chastises her for being scared of everything.  Um, did I miss something?  Pot meet kettle.  Suzie is getting upset with Kesha because she keeps doing things to get on Tami’s nerves.  Suzie never ceases to amaze me…she’s finally in the inner circle, and she’ll do whatever to stay there!  There are a lot of sharks in the water, but I applaud Suzie and Kesha for actually getting in the water.  Heck, it was Shaunie’s idea, and she’s sitting on the boat.

After the excursion, everyone is getting along, so Tami takes the opportunity to bash on Kesha for trying to get to know the other girls better.  Evelyn and Shaunie are smiling because they know what’s about to come from drunk Tami.  Either Royce or Suzie has told Tami that Kesha said she would have gone off on Tami if she thought it would make her look worse than her behavior already did.  Tami starts cussing up a storm…um, I don’t think your anger management counselor would think this confrontation was a good idea.  Kesha remains calm and quiet, and she seems to be following her advice again.  Tami’s making herself look like a gem yet again!  Not surprisingly, no one jumps in to diffuse the situation.

Next week, Tami confiscates Kesha’s purse, and Kesha desperately wants her bag and her phone so she can get the heck out of Tahiti.  She tells this to Suzie, who relays it to Tami.  Tami can’t believe Kesha’s talking about her again!  WHAT?  Tami continues bullying Kesha about her flipping pocketbook.