Dance Moms Miami Recap: Immature Moms, Crazy Mature Kids…Go Figure

After a volatile competition on the last Dance Moms: Miami, last night the dancers are back to learn their places on the list.  Abby and Sammy are noticeably absent.  Debi isn’t too sad to see that they aren’t present.  Angel is upset about the drama that went down at the competition, especially with the moms (cough, cough, Suzie, he means you!).

Sammy is at the bottom of the list, presumably since she dropped Kimmy and then tried to blame shift, but it works out well since she’s also a no-show at practice. Hannah is fourth on the list due to technique even though she did well at the competitionLucas, who won first for his solo, is third because he threw Sammy under the bus and tattled on her for saying Kimmy’s timing was off in the group number.  Am I seeing things or did smoke just come out of Brigette’s ears?  I think she’s more upset at that news than Lucas.  Kimmy gains second place for taking the blame for something she didn’t do.  Ani is shocked.  She figured her daughter would be much further down the list due to her dancing.  How weird is it not to see a mom get upset about their child’s placement!  Jessi places first for dancing well and juggling the stress that her crazy mother bestowed upon her.  True that!


This week’s competition will take place in San Antonio, Texas, and Jessi and Kimmy will be dancing a duet.  Suzie is thrilled that finally Jessi is dancing with someone who is kind of sort of near her caliber.  Lucas garners another solo thanks to last week’s performance.  Uh oh, Sammy and Abby enter stage right.  Victor can barely hide his disdain.  Abby requests to speak to Victor and Angel in private.  Hannah gets the final solo, but Sammy will be featured in the group dance.  Abby is peeved, but Sammy is just happy to back dancing with the friends and teachers that she loves.  Again, why are the kids so much more mature than the moms?  Why am I forced to ask this every recap??

The theme this week is abandonment.  Angel says the theme was inspired by Abby.  Haha!  Victor and Angel hope that this dance will make Sammy realize how important she is to the team.  Debi finds it totally disrespectful that Sammy (perhaps Debi should start disliking the mom more than the eleven-year-old, but that’s just me) can waltz out of the competition and just scurry back to practice to be featured in the group number.  Suzie begins her crazy rant by reminding Abby how Jessi was publicly humiliated for snatching the trophy from Hannah and was punished at home for weeks for her bad behavior.  Um, if memory serves me correctly, Suzie went loco when Jessi was reprimanded for her poor sportsmanship.  Hypocrisy much?  Who am I kidding?  These women are walking, talking contradictions.

Sammy begins crying during rehearsal because she’s at the bottom of the list.  Victor and Angel want to talk to her in private.  Abby leaves the viewing room to comfort her daughter, and the other mothers simply can’t believe her nerve.  Poor Sammy is crying because she knows she’s on the bottom partly due to her mother’s ugly behavior.  She can’t be expected to control her mom, can she?  Angel tries to explain that sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down.  Once again, the kids are all on the same page while the mothers are bat shiz cray.

Abby returns to the viewing room, where she tries to bite her tongue in spite of Suzie’s barbs.  Apparently Abby is hated by Suzie for being rich and pretty.  At least Abby is attempting to take one for the team so Sammy can dance and be happy with her friends.  In the studio, Hannah is working on her lyrical solo, House of Pain, while focusing specifically on her technicality.  She reveals to Victor that she believes her weight separates her from other dancers, and she wishes they would focus on her artistry.  After hearing this conversation, Mayra approaches Debi about Hannah’s weight.  What the —?  The girl is what?  Ten-years-old?  Brigette chimes in (shocking!), telling Debi that perhaps she should lose weight as an example for her daughter.  WHAT?  I’m floored.  Mayra then starts in on her own personal food diary for Hannah, stating she saw her eat a burger.  No way!  Debi is quick to tell Mayra that Hannah ate half a patty with no bun.  Why is this relevant?  I get that dancing is competitive, but give me a break.  Dove is touting girls’ self-esteem left and right during this show’s commercial breaks, but is the company watching?  It’s like anorexics-r-us up in this viewing room.

Debi may or may not push Mayra out of the way as she storms out of the room.  Okay, she didn’t…she just put her hand on her shoulder.  Mayra doesn’t blame Hannah, she blames Debi for forcing food on her.  Debi cries to Angel, and he finds himself in the middle of a screaming match between Debi and Victor’s mother Mayra.  Angel is worried that Hannah is trying to make healthy choices but is thwarted by her mother.

Angel and Victor are working with their seniors, and the mothers are mad with the lack of attention their dancers are receiving.  Even Ani is heated which we all know has to mean business.  Debi tries to have a round table discussion about how their behavior is affecting their kids.  Brigette suggests a group hug to throw off the dancers.  There seems to be a decent truce among the women.  Of course, Victor thinks the mothers are mocking them, and threatens to call off rehearsal in light of their positive antics.  Lucas is in tears.

Lucas reveals to his mom that the parents’ screaming, fighting, laughing, and craziness is beyond distracting.  Brigette tells her son that she’s only acting out because he didn’t deserve be third on the list.  Lucas, with all his intelligence and maturity, explains to his mom that he doesn’t care if he’s at the bottom every week, because he’s confident in his dance ability.  He just wants to dance and learn.  Screw the list…okay, he doesn’t say that, but it’s what he seems to mean.  Go Lucas!  Reign in your cuckoo mom!  He just wants his mom to be supportive.  He can be last and still have a blast.  Learning anything, Dance Moms?

Kimmy and Jessi are practicing their duet, and it looks like it is going to be amazing.  Lucas’ solo is all about expressing emotions.  Lucas is good at that.  He must also practice a lot of control due to the complexity of the dance.  The group is working on their number sans Victor and Angel who are coaching the seniors.  Debi is brought to severe giggles when Mayra comes in to coach the group number in ballet.  Jessi finds it equally hilarious.  The mothers are livid at the coaches’ abandonment (theme what?), but at least they are in agreement, right?  The coaches arrive to tell the dancers that Victor will be attending the dancers’ competition while Angel will stay back to coach the seniors.  The mothers find it ironic that the theme is abandonment yet he’s flaking out on the team this week.

It’s competition time, and Lucas is the first one up to perform his solo.  He’s a little frazzled because he’s worried about the technique…and the fact he has to pee.  Love me some Lucas.  His balance and control with the multiple extensions is phenomenal.  Hannah takes the stage next.  Victor gives her a stellar pep talk and hopes she’ll dance out her anger (with amazing technique) during her solo.  Mission accomplished!  Victor touts her as fierce, and she is, scoring second place.  It’s her highest honor in dance thus far.  Debi is beyond proud.  Lucas wins first.  It’s a good start for Stars!

Mayra asks for praise for teaching such a stellar ballet class, and Debi is quick (in her individual interview) to say she doubted Mayra too soon.  Mayra reveals that she heard the moms laughing when she began to teach, and Victor is angry at the lack of respect the mothers show his mother.  Mayra’s feelings are hurt so she’s crying, and Victor is pissed.  Debi apologizes and all is well in Victor-Mayra world.

Kimmy and Jessi are preparing to perform their duet.  Right before going on stage, Jessi is in tears over a back injury.  Kimmy is supportive of her teammate, but mainly because she really, really doesn’t want to get dropped again.  Can you blame her?  For the most part, the girls are in perfect sync for the performance.  Victor is proud of Jessi for powering through the dance.  The crew scrambles to prepare for the group number.  Victor is hoping this will be his chance to prove to Angel that he can do this all by himself.

The group dance is beautiful, and y’all know I know NOTHING about dance.  Sammy didn’t need a solo this week, as she shines in this number.  Abby is tears, and she thought the dance screamed teamwork.   Abby issues a heartfelt apology to the dancers and moms, saying she brought her daughter to Stars to do exactly what the team accomplished in that dance.  She receives hugs from Sammy’s friends, but of course Ani is the only one who seems to genuinely accept her apology.  Kimmy and Jessi win first overall in the duet despite one tiny flub by Jessi.   The Stars crew also scores first in the group number.  What else?  The crew calls Angel to share the good news.

Next week, a new mom and dancer join the mix.  This mom may be more volatile than all the other combined, and Angel must break up a physical altercation between the new mom and Brigette.  Classy!