Basketball Wives LA Recap: Big Brawls In The Big Easy

Oh good gracious!  Last night's Basketball Wives LA was a virtual assault on the senses.  Jackie Christie raps and flashes her boobs.  Brooke Bailey and Draya Michele are still caught up about the cover of a magazine that apparently doesn't even pay its models.  Malaysia Pargo invites the ladies on a charitable trip to New Orleans, so you know that's going to go over well.  Oh, and we finally find out the deets on the worst kept secret wedding of Gloria Govan.  It's a lot. 

Brooke and Bambi seem to have mended fences as Brooke invites her, Jackie, and Laura Govan over to see her new lingerie line Touche Moi.  She then basically strips down to share a prototype.  Brooke asks the ladies to start trying on things, which they do, so it's basically Bambi and Laura walking around in tank tops and red string bikini underwear.  Didn't they want to wash it first?  I will say, I am really liking Bambi…she seems to be one of the more level headed ladies this franchise has ever had, which is probably why she isn't a full fledged cast member in the credits.  Nostrils O'Neal doesn't like women who are smarter than she is!

Stop the presses!  Jackie is recording an album.  It doesn't matter that she's never sung or rapped or even been in a studio.  Today is a day of firsts for Jackie!  She has asked Bambi and her giant earrings to come by and give her some pointers.  Bambi is shocked to learn that she isn't absolutely horrible (she's not?) and she tells Jackie as much.  Jackie, as you can imagine, basks in the wonderful honesty of her new best friend. 


Malaysia, Bambi, and Draya meet for dinner, and Malaysia is hoping she can get Draya on board with her vacation that is really going to be more work than their regular lives.  Of course, I'm not quite sure just how much work their regular lives actually are…meeting up for various dinners and cocktails and launch parties doesn't seem too terribly taxing.  It doesn't take much convincing to get Draya to agree to the trip, and Bambi then brings up Brooke's lingerie line.  She questions Draya as to why she can't be excited for Brooke's modeling success.  I can't tell if Bambi likes to just lay everything on the table or if she's a giant shiz stirrer, but it's fun to watch.  Draya's jealousy rears its ugly head again, and she further surprises Malaysia and Bambi by saying she won't be attending Laura's birthday party as long as she's still pretending to be friends with Jackie.  She is over the phoniness.  Give it a rest.

Gloria has planned a surprise for Laura's birthday.  The women are getting their make-up done before a night out on the town.  Laura is excited to learn that no one really forgot her birthday.  When Bambi arrives she drops the bomb that Draya won't be attending and tells the women verbatim Draya's beef with phoniness.  Can you imagine if all women were like Bambi?  No one would be friends, would they?  Brooke gets up on her high horse again about Draya not being happy for her, and Bambi decides that Laura's birthday celebration is the perfect time to call out Gloria for being a snob.  Impeccable timing!  Bambi tries to make light of Gloria's behavior at Draya's white party, laughing that she wanted to smack Gloria that night.  Gloria bristles and pretty much tells her to bring it on while everyone else just sits there getting glossed and smoky eyed.

The make-up artist with the hot pink hair may want to get out of the way.  Malaysia tries to intervene, telling Gloria that by her not acknowledging Bambi's original statement was a veiled joke, she is taking the fight to the extreme.  Guess what, Malaysia?  Your bff shouldn't have said anything at the birthday party to begin with!  I'd ask why Laura isn't stepping in to try to salvage her own party, but I know she totally eats up this drama, regardless of her sister's involvement.  While Bambi's delivery is totally out of line, she does make a hilarious comment that this isn't webisode land and Gloria won't get more than one take in their fight. 

Malaysia tries to calm her friend, pulling on Bambi's arm as she makes her way to Gloria.  Laura is over the madness and decides to call it quits on the party.  Brooke is disappointed that she didn't even get a chance to have her make-up done, and she isn't too keen on Bambi ruining the fun.  Bambi threatens Gloria that she'd better think twice before throwing a cupcake at her.  What?  Even Gloria knows that doing so would be a waste of a perfectly good cupcake.  The ladies vacate the store, but Malaysia and Bambi stay behind to get makeovers.  Malaysia expresses her concern over Bambi being able to build houses in NoLa alongside her new nemesis.

Jackie is packing for New Orleans while sharing the party antics with Doug.  The ladies arrive in Louisiana sans the Sisters GovanDraya shares the tabloid news of a Vegas wedding.  Bambi hopes Matt Barnes realizes the huge mistake he just made if these rumors are true.  Draya thinks that it's rude of the Sisters Govan not to show up, but then Brooke reminds her of the times she's invited Draya places and she hasn't shown.  They can't let this ridiculousness go, and Jackie is thrilled that for once she isn't at the center of the drama.  Malaysia tries to mediate and reminds the women why they are on the trip. 

Things seem to take a turn for civility, and the women head out to dinner at a famous New Orleans restaurant.  For women who really wanted to do charity, they are spending an awful lot of VH1's money on themselves!  The Sisters Govan finally arrive, and Gloria quietly admits to the quickie weddingJackie wonders why Gloria didn't include all of the girls.  Seriously?  Has she met her "friends"?  Gloria tries to explain that it wasn't a planned event, it was all off the cuff once they got to Vegas.  Bambi doesn't want to hear any more about Gloria's good news, so she finds a magazine and leaves the private dining room.  Malaysia follows her out and gets her to return to the table.  She gives another passionate speech about the purpose of their trip, and everything is hunky dory for about eighteen seconds until Jackie brings up the trouble with Draya and Brooke.  Here we go again.  More screaming ensues, and Malaysia has had enough.  She leaves the restaurant in a frustrated huff.

The women are working for Habitat for Humanity.  Wow, the range of outfits they have chosen to help build a home are amazing.  I don't know whether I like Brooke's daisy dukes and knee high hiking socks or Bambi's belly shirt and homemade jean chaps that leave little to the imagination.  Bambi and Draya are working on the side of the house to avoid Brooke and Gloria out front.  Jackie comes to see their progress and stir the pot, but Malaysia wrangles her back to work.  Draya is happy to work hard, but she only wants to have fun with the people she doesn't currently dislike. 

Laura, Brooke, and Gloria head out for a chill night while the other women head out to party on Bourbon Street.  The groups could not be having two more different nights.  Gloria is over Bambi, and meanwhile Bambi is telling Jackie about all the rappers that Gloria has been bedding.  Draya just wants to have a good time, and she decides to moon the crowd in exchange for Jackie flashing the tourists on the street below.  My eyes, my eyes!

Next week, Brooke and Draya go at it yet again (and again!), the women meet with a medium, and Jackie wonders about Lauras intentions with her daughters.


[Photo Credit: VH1]