Let's all give thanks… Don't Be Tardy style. And what does that entail? Purchasing a pre-packed, pre-sliced turkey from a designer clothing store. More on this later.

On last night's episode Kim Zolciak's daughters were forced to deal with the Sins of the Wig, whose own parents have turned against her in the media over her alleged famewhoring. It was actually sad. 

Things begin with Kim and her girls making something called "slutty brownies". They actually sound amazing. Brielle and Arianna want to make brownies from scratch, Kim argues for boxed mix especially in light of the fact that she doesn't even have sugar in her pantry. 



Kim takes issue with Brielle using the word "slutty", which is a naughty word since it describes Kim's former life. Moments later, while working on potty training with KJ, Kim drops a couple F-bombs cause pee got on the wall. She hops right back into baking – I did not see any hand washing. Who's up for some Unsanitary Brownies?

Brielle wistfully wishes her Nana was here to help since she's a good cook. Kim says she wants to work on a relationship with her parents for the girls, who really do love their grandparents, despite them signing an affidavit with the court stating they don't want to spend time with them because they are too busy.

Kim is also sad because she will not be celebrating Thanksgiving with her parents – particularly because her dad does all the cooking! Kim makes the decision to reach out to her father, Joe, to try and work things out, away from the court. I applaud her effort. 

Unfortunately it's all for naught as Kim learns her father has sold a story to tabloids accusing her of being a "pathological liar", providing an unstable home for her kids, and even worse, outing a long-held "secret" that Brielle and Arianna do not have the same biological father.


I'm sad to see Kim crying, but I'm distracted… is she not wearing a wig? Is that her real hair?! 

Kim says she is especially worried for Brielle, who doesn't want people knowing she and Arianna are only half-sisters, especially since Brielle is already being bullied at school. 

A few thoughts: First of all, why is this being aired on television? It's really not appropriate considering the girls are involved. Secondly, if Brielle is being made fun of at school because of her family's behavior, this DEFINITELY should not be a major storyline for Kim's reality show. How about putting the kids first and your wigs second? 

Kim dispatches Kroy Biermann, to pick up Brielle at school so they can talk to her before she reads the tabloids. Upon returning home, Brielle shares that some mentioned the lawsuit to her. Brielle is really upset, but keeps reassuring Kim that she's on her side. They decide not to tell Arianna about Joe's comments, since she won't understand. Brielle has been forced to grow up way, way too fast! Who is the mother again?

And done with all that icky, sad, wigstrionic stuff! Now onto Kim attempting to throw together Thanksgiving. Kim announces she is making things "from scratch" which means she is making mashed potatoes from scratch (with three assistants) and acting like she's never made them before. 


She is on YouTube watching an instructional video, dirtying every pot in the house, and freaking out about how much work it is.   She doesn't have time to cook. Then Kim announces it's time to assemble the rest of the meal… 

Taaa-daaa! Kim opens the freezer and pulls out stack, after stack, of pre-packaged TV dinner trays. She proudly shares that she ordered them online from Neiman Marcus

The only animal products I want from Neimans are in the shoe and handbag departments. 

Sadly Kim was elated to discover that one of her favorite luxury stores sells designer turkey TV dinners too! Is it basted in Gucci Guilty. As in guilty of wasting money, because essentially ol' Wigs-n-Cigs paid 5x as much for something that tastes as generic and low-budget as what you can buy at Kroger. And you save on Shipping & Handling. Unless of course the local Neimans has a Thanksgiving Market outpost setup at their stores… 

Kim announces that next Thanksgiving, she won't be defrosting stuffing in a plastic tray because her new mansion has FOUR kitchens and she can hire a chef! Four kitchens for a woman who buys TV dinner thanksgiving? Don't be tardy for the bankruptcy court!

Kroy oughtta just burn his money in the microwave with the wigs and the pre-made stuffing from Neimans! 

Apparently just like with wigs, Kim assumes that when you pay more for something it's better quality. And as we know from looking at those cheap tangles of Barbie knock-off hairdos, that is not the case! Don't Be Delusional! 

Kroy comes home and proceeds to stuff his face without even tasting it. Kim has everyone write things they are thankful for and they take turns reading them out loud. Kim and Kroy are unilaterally thankful for his butt, which brings home the Neiman Marcus bacon and provides them with all this love. 

Wigs & Gomer… The American Dream!

Next week, Kim heads to court with her parents. Is she this desperate for a storyline?

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