Newlyweds The First Year’s Tina Sugandh Describes The “Torture” Of Motherhood

Tarz Tina

Didn't get enough of Tina Sugandh's drama-filled antics on Newlyweds: The First Year?  Well, she's bringing her special brand of brash to Bravo's Dish…talking about her son with husband Tarz Ludwigsen and how babies are just torture.  Oh Tina, you're such a hoot!

Taking to her Bravo blog, Tina questions, "How dare I call cute little innocent babies "torture" you ask? I say that babies are torture because no one told me that I was going to become an emotional wreck after having my son. No, I’m not going through any sort of post-partum depression. I’ve always been super-sensitive and emotional as it is—and this little thing is so damn cute, that it has become downright torturous!"  Tina is super-sensitive and emotional?  I never would have guessed it!


Tina shares, "Here’s an example: In our family, we have something called 'Pizza Friday.' It's a sacred non-negotiable tradition where we force ourselves to stop work for a couple hours every Friday night, and the seven of us— Tina, Tarz, Baby-Tarz, our two sweet pups Xena & Loki, and our two stuffed pigs Peegu & Poofers—all cuddle on the same couch, stuff our faces to levels of possible regurgitation, and watch a movie."

Continuing, Tina jokes, "When I say we all 'stuff our faces,' I mean Tarz and Tina have tons of pizza and ice cream, Xena and Loki have a little bit of pizza and 'Frosty Paws' (doggie ice cream that I highly recommend)…and Baby-Tarz gets some blended pizza and ice cream mixed in with his breast milk. (Ok, I’m kidding about that last one. Please don’t call child services!)…So anyway, last Pizza Friday, my hubby decides that it would be a beautiful experience for me to watch the classic cartoon Tarzan as our Pizza Friday movie. I figured, why the heck not? I really could use a light-hearted Disney classic after my long and stressful work week! (Also, I really should see the movie that both my hubby and son are named after, right?)"

The drama mounts as Tina reveals, "The movie starts and I have a big smile on my face, but as it progresses, I begin to bawl like a two-year-old, and then throughout the rest of the movie I experienced pretty much every torturous emotion possible: sadness, worry, fear and anger! First of all, Tarzie looks SO much like baby Tarzan in the movie, so it was impossible not to draw direct comparisons. So then, in this movie, I have to see 'Tarzie' grow up and go through a series of heartbreaks and betrayal and have his innocence taken advantage of, and see the bond with his mom being insanely beautiful, etc etc….and then that damn Phil Collins with that heart-wrenchingly beautiful 'You’ll be In My Heart' song! (OMG! Phil, are you trying to make me end it all?)"  Perhaps she should have watched the original…

Bear with her…she's got a point.  Tina admits, "So basically, seeing 'Tarzie' grow up in this movie makes me suddenly question what I’ve signed up for with this whole 'baby' thing! I have like 100 revelations all at once such as: Tarzie could fall and get hurt one day? No!! Some douche-bag kid is going to tell my son he does not want to play with him? No! Tarzie is going to leave me and go to college some day? No! Some 'ho-bag' is going to rip his heart out and stomp on it one day? Oh HELL no! (By the way, 'ho-bag,' I realize you are probably not even born yet, but just beware…that’s all I’m saying)."  Good gracious, can you imagine if Tina was your mother-in-law?

Tina concludes, "So by the end of the movie, it was back to the Newlyweds premiere episode cell-phone blowout where I was calling my husband a 'f**ker' for making me sit through this Disney classic where I was forced to realize that I am so painfully and deeply in love with my child that life is about to become emotionally, heart-wrenchingly insanely difficult…and wait-I have to feel this way FOREVER???  Like I said, 'torture.'"

I wonder how often Bravo is going to have her doing this guest gig…You have to admit though, Tarzie is absolutely precious!


[Photo Credit: Twitter]