Million Dollar Listing Miami Recap: Things That Go Boom

chad carroll freaks out on million dollar listing miami

Last night on Million Dollar Listing Miami our brokers dealt with disappointment – and some handled it with class and some handled it with tantrums more nasty than the ones my toddler throws.

On the other side of the spectrum, Sam DeBianchi continued to bug as she gloated and tried to get camera time by slamming her fellow agents.

Chris Leavitt is working with Senada on a co-listing for a fabulous condo in Boca Raton. He’s calling every agent he knows who can bring the high-end jet set clientele to their open house, which is actually comprised of hosting the Miss Boca pageant. Chris was worried the event wouldn’t be classy – it wasn’t – but it certainly made a splash – bikinis not withstanding – and attracted a lot of attention.


Sam arrived, and despite only selling in the $1 million range, she slams Chris for over-pricing the unique unit and then snaps, “All the botox injections must be seeping into your brain.” Nice way to repay someone who did you a professional favor and gave you solid advice, Sam, but I guess famewhore is as famewhore does! Chris, exhibiting supreme class, brushes it aside and throws some subtle, professional shade about the high-end marketplace. Something Miss $1.5 million Ft. Lauderdale knows nothing about.

Chad Carroll has scored a rather odd listing in Coral Gables, an exclusive community that is like a small town amid Miami. The owner combined two condos to make one massive unit with an odd anthill of hallways and a his & hers master bedroom. It also has great views, a wine cellar, and tons of custom woodwork. After some negotiations they agree to list at $5.3 – a super high price based on the comps, but Chad is optimistic given the size, custom features, and views that it will sell.

For the open house Chad puts together a wine tasting with custom wine bottles with his own “Chad-teau” wines. It was a pretty cute idea, actually. His girlfriend, helps him out and he’s sort of a jerk to her about putting together the plastic snap’n’twist wine glasses, but then she demands he apologize and you can tell she rules him. Why she wants to is another question.

In the open house he gets a $5 million dollar offer, all cash, 15 day close. After convincing the sellers it’s the best they’re gonna do, Chad has a deal 7 days after the listing goes active. To celebrate he runs out to by an Aston Martin. It was a case of premature celebration however…

Sam and her dog Chloe Chanel (yes, I’m serious. Yes, she’s totally wannabe Paris Hilton circa 2004) are meeting a new client named Lisa to find her a water-front home in Ft. Lauderdale for her and her dog. Lisa, an attorney, adopted a pitbull and apparently pitbulls are illegal in all of Miami(?!), so she’s gotta live in the ‘burbs. Lisa has a $1.5 million budget and demands a yard and water. Sam warns her she’ll have to be open to renovations with that paltry budget for a water-front home.

The first two properties Lisa hates – based on bad vibes and bad yards – but the third one wins her over with the outdoor space. They decide to offer $1.2, but then Sam learns the seller is very motivated after the home has been vacant and on the market for a year. They decide to offer $1.05. Sam meets Ft. Lauderdale’s first (and oldest living!) real estate agent Joan, who is representing the sellers. After a sort of tension-laden lunch for an 80-year-old they have a deal at $1.1 with the outdoor furniture included. Sam boasts that she’s real estate’s fairy godmother “bippity, boppity, BOOM!” More like B00, cause boo for bad attitude. And also, let’s be honest – she’s not selling no $13.9 million dollar condos. But as it turns out neither is Chris!

After a string of successful showings and offers about to be pouring in, Chris and Senada receive a call from the seller’s representative Campion. But he has bad news: the sellers have ultimately decided NOT to sell the property – even though they live in Europe! Chris and Senada are shell-shocked  – they reveal they’ve spent $55,000 marketing the property. Campion suggests he give some documents to the seller revealing all they did for the listing, to see if they can recoup some of the money, but both Chris and Senada graciously and professionally decline. Through supremely disappointed, they both recognize it’s the price of doing business and hope that next time the sellers will turn to them again. Or at least recommend them. All’s fair in love and real estate.

Dealing with disappointment in a very different way is Chad. A day before his $5Million dollar condo closes, he gets a call from the other agent Ty with the inspection report – and it’s bad news. There are a ton of issues with the property and the sellers want a $250,000 credit to address all the problems. Chad turns into Mr. Hyde – he throws a glass – shattering it everywhere –  screams at Ty that they don’t have a deal, and then slams down the phone. Chad’s girlfriend, who is sitting on the sofa, responds with “whoa” as he storms out of the room in a fit of rage. Chad Smash! Chad Angry! Chad ROAR and STOMP!

I wonder if Chad took back the sportscar? Nah – he probably smashed it.

[Photo Credit: Bravo]