On an all new episode of Don’t Be Tardy, it’s that time of year again – Spring Break! For the Biermanns that means packing up the Louis Vuitton luggage and hopping in an RV and heading for Florida.  I never thought I’d write Louis Vuitton and RV in the same sentence, there’s a first time for everything.

Finally, Kim Zolciak is not pregnant this year for the trip and she’s looking forward to refreshing her Botox and going commando because they’ve rented a home with a private beach in Destin FL.

As they are packing clothes for the twins, Kim can’t wait to get them sunburn (Vitamin D is incredibly healthy, speaks the woman with the tanning bed in her basement) and she happens to notice that the twins need Louis Vuitton luggage to match everyone else. 

As they are rattling off the list of people accompanying the Biermann family on this vacation, Kroy  states that the mode of transportation will be RV.  What does RV stand for, you say?  Don’t ask Kim, she has no idea.

Kim then decides to do a domestic luggage inventory in her closet and realizes that yes, spending thousands of dollars on luggage for 3-month old twins makes total sense.  Complete and total sense – it’s tradition dammit.

I have to give props to Kim that she is incredibly self-aware.  She freely admits that she likes  LV and doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ what anyone else thinks, OK?  She likes the way it zips and the way it smells, leave her alone! Kroy attempts to shoot this idea of new luggage down, but Kim knows Kroy and truly has him wrapped around her finger. No means yes!  No No means yes, but comes with a steep price that she has to pay for in the bedroom.  

A few days later, Special Operation Zero Dark Louis Vuitton occurs and busted! Kroy is home when all these lovely bags get delivered.  However, Kim has been to this game before and knows that by having her stylist bring bags and bags of clothes, shoes and purses it will make the luggage actually not seem that bad.  Kim is a genius.



Vacation Day is upon us and the RV is in the driveway ready to haul off what looks like 87 bags of luggage (what the?? Seriously, that’s a $hitload of luggage) for the week-long trip to the beach.  Kim mentions that she already needs to a vacation from her vacation and all the packing she’s done (despite the fact that Kroy calls Kim out 2 minutes later that he packed all the suitcases).  Again, I love Kroy.

It’s chaos in the RV, Brielle has the nerve to make the comment that the 200 ft RV is not big-enough (dear God).  Halfway through their drive, they make a pit stop for gas, gummy bears and gambling (huh??).  We discover that Kim apparently has a penchant for gambling – like dropping $250K in Bahamas gambling (huhhhh???) and cleans out the Gas n’ Sip of every scratch-off they have on hand (With no casinos in GA she has to get her fix somewhere, jeesh!).  This entire sequence left me speechless.  Now I have to add a “Gambling”  column to my mental spreadsheet of what Kim spends and it is literally crashing  the calculator functions in my brain.  Her total is over $1,200 AT THE GAS STATION.  Holy Hell.
After she wins $36 (seriously) Kroy punishes her for the LV bags by forcing her to go camping.  She reluctantly agrees and I have now counted that they have name-dropped Louis Vuitton 62 times this episode, so I’m guessing the bags are now comped.  Kudos to Kim!
It’s 1am and they have arrived in paradise and can relax!  The Biermanns are bummed due to three consecutive days of rain (I love that they played charades) but low and behold, the weather clears up! Brielle can go out partying at the beach club! Who-hoo!  Kroy tells her to be home by midnight even though she is wearing a partially see-through crop top and she  borrowed Ariana’s denim underwear from last week.  Kim’s cool with it because she was a terror at that age and understands. 
Once Brielle heads out for the night, Kim and Kroy hash it out in the kitchen about how maybe Brielle isn’t as perfect as Kim thinks.  Kroy isn’t alluding to any actual instances but he does bring up a valid point that perhaps Kim might not realize that Brielle is no angel.  The irony here is that Kim gets defensive about this as she knows for certain Brielle doesn’t have sex, doesn’t do drugs or drink alcohol.  Riiight.  I’ve got to side with Kroy on this.  There is NO WAY Kim can definitively say that Brielle hasn’t at least tried booze.  As much as Kim wants to think that she would know, trust me, she doesn’t know.
Stay tuned next week for more fun in the sun as they beat-up paparazzi on the beach and laugh at Sweetie in a giant plastic bubble!
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
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