Keeping Up with the Kardashians

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kris Jenner and Khloe Kardashian came to a boil over Kris’s lack of professionalism as a Momager. Kris and Kim Kardashian came to a boil over Kris constantly trying to hijack Kim’s wedding planning. We also got to meet Khloe’s new love interest Mr. French Montana and Lamar Odom made a very quick cameo.

Things begin with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian discussing Khloe’s new love interest – French Montana. Kourtney is perplexed at who he is and also who Khloe’s new posse is that she is being photographed out and about with. Apparently Khloe has a posse now? I guess that’s one of the perks that comes with dating French Montana? #RapperLife I think Kim’s a little jelly of all the attention Khloe is receiving. Kourtney finds it strange nobody has met him. Kim finds it strange that Khloe would ever date a guy who isn’t black. Kourtney compares Khloe’s secretive behavior to her previous relationship with Lamar. I guess Khloe tries to not scare off her romantic choices by introducing them to her family too soon. Instead she likes everyone to meet at her weddings instead. #NoTurningBackAtTheAltar The girls come to conclusion that Khloe is just a shady lady.

Over at Kourtney and Scott’s we are treated to some cute moments of Penelope and Mason playing. After all 2.5 seconds of cuteness, Kim arrives, butt cheeks hanging out an all to discuss brag about her wedding locations. Yes that’s right. Location(s). Kim tells the camera with her permanent Botox filled zombie-fied face that wedding planning is no joke. She rambles about how hard the logistics of a destination wedding are. In Kim’s head, planning a wedding is like performing brain surgery – it’s super-duper difficult y’all. When you have all the money you need, a team of assistants and a group of wedding planners what is it that she really needs to do? I mean even without a team I thought she’d have wedding planning down pat, I mean she’s on to number three already.

Kris swoops in and does what Momager does best. She takes over. Kim tells Kris that Kanye will want to pick out everything with her for the day. Kris questions if that’s typical behavior for a groom? Scott retorts is anything typical?! I can’t be sure whether he was referencing Kanye or the fact Kim is on to husband number 3. After Kim announces the rehearsal dinner will be at the Palace of Versailles, Scott and Kourtney make their exit. Before vacating, Scott sarcastically thanks Kim for making whatever wedding he has with Kourtney look like small potatoes against her royal-esque extravaganza. #SourGrapes ??

Meanwhile Khloe has just finished up guest hosting at Chelsea Lately and she is rather pi$$ed off at Momager Kris for not attending the gig like promised. Khloe is given oodles of praise from her paid minions but it doesn’t seem to cut it. Khloe wants her Momager! In Khloe’s interview she reveals that she thinks her Mom has become overwhelmed trying to juggle everyone in the families careers and doesn’t devote equal attention to everyone. Vogue Covers for Kim. Book deals for Kourtney and nada, zip, nothing for Khloe. I’m pretty sure Khloe has been saying this for years, sometimes Kourtney chimes in. It is clear Kim is the favorite. Even Stevie Wonder can see that! Khloe tries to call Kris again… no answer. Khloe angrily dubs her Mom a ‘F**king psycho’, now I’m no psychologist but maybe it’s those kind of insults that keep Kris from turning up!?


Kourtney and Kim decide to visit Khloe and by visit I mean investigate who her new crew is and dig up the dirt on French. Khloe is evasive and dodges the question like Floyd Mayweather. Khloe feels like some things should remain private, after all she is still going through a divorce and things are relatively fresh with French. The girls give up on interrogating Khloe. Apparently neither attended interrogation tactics 101. Silly girls, should have called Mommy, I imagine Kris is well versed in waterboarding.

Khloe is at her new house discussing her vision board when Momsie Dearest strolls on through. Khloe is less than pleased to see her because she is thirty minutes late. Khloe is mad her Mom refuses to pay attention when she is actually with her and never makes her a priority. Insert failure to attend Chelsea Lately here. Kris however, is oblivious to her managerial faux pas and announces she has to leave and attend a meeting. Khloe announces she wants to kill her mother… which all in all is a pretty standard day in the life of being Khloe.

Kris and Kim are hanging out in their closets. I would too if I had a closet like that and an assistant who constantly tells me I look like I have lost weight. #AndThatsHowYouKeepAJobWithAKardashian Kris is angry Kim won’t give her any information about the wedding or let her throw her a wedding shower? I’m pretty sure Kim has all the fine china she’ll ever need from her last wedding. #ThirdTimesACharm Kim isn’t interested in any parties but throws her Mom a bone and allows her to organize a ‘small’ dinner. Kim retreats back to her assistant who basically acts like the ‘Mirror’ from Snow White – constantly praising her plastic beauty.

The family, and by family I mean Khloe, are preparing dinner for Kris for Mother’s Day. Mid-way through cooking, Khloe learns that a radio show her Mom booked is asking some pretty personal questions about her marriage that her Mother should have proof read. Khloe is beyond furious Kris ever authorized the interview. Kris believes that it’s PR’s job not hers. Khloe is adamant she is going to lose it one of these days and just hire new representation that will actually take care of her interests. Khloe bellows that her Mom and Manager should have her back and be her second set of eyes! Kris whines to her pet project Kim about where Khloe’s anger is coming from. Kim feels like Kris should show Khloe some extra attention while she is navigating through a difficult time in her personal life.

Later Kim finds out Kris has gone behind her back and emailed her wedding planners to find out information about her big day. Sidenote – maybe if Kris wasn’t so busy trying to hijack Kim’s wedding she could devote more time to proofing radio questions? Just a thought!? Kim labels her Mom a pathological liar that will do and say anything to get what she wants. The girls plus Kris are discussing bridesmaid dresses, but while on the subject Kim confront Kris about getting involved with her wedding planner. Kim reveals that she knows Kris went behind her back, to try and organize bridal shower favors. Kim makes it abundantly clear that she and Kanye don’t want her Kris’s signature look on anything related to her wedding. This wedding will not be Zsa Zsa inspired! She wants everything to be about her and Kanye only – instead it will be inspired by narcissism and opulence mixed with a huge amount of self-absorbed egomania. You know, things that Kim and Kanye have mastered. Kim decides to punish her over bearing Mother by stripping her of her bridal shower/dinner duties and further decides she needs to vacate Casa de Kris permanently. She asks Kourtney if she can move in. Kourtney is smart and says Kim is welcome to stay but not for too long.

Kim packs her bags and moves in with Kourtney. Kris calls Kourtney and Kim incessantly demanding Kim return and stop being dramatic. The girls come to the conclusion their mother is crazy. I could have told them that 8 seasons ago. Kourtney decides to blow off some steam by going bowling with Khloe and Khadijah. Kourtney seizes her window of opportunity to try and get the dirt on French and Khloe. Khloe refuses to give up the bait. She feels like her family are nosey and judgmental and for now she wants to keep her torrid love affair under wraps. Kourtney can’t extort Khadijah either, unfortunately she has been trained to keep her jaw wired shut when it comes to all things Khloe.

The gang head over the Casa de Kris for dinner. Kim arrives and decides to deliver her Mom an apology. Kris was literally so excited I think she may have peed her pants. Clearly she doesn’t like when she is on the outs with her number 1 client child. Or maybe she is just having some serious separation anxiety since Kim moved out. Bruce left, Kendall left, Kim left. Everybody is fleeing from Kontrolling Kris’s Klaws. Kris is elated and the two kiss and make up. Their moment is ruined by Scott’s a$$ hanging out. He notes that his public mooning makes him an honorary Kardashian. Khloe and Kim retreat to the lounge and discuss tattoos and necklaces. Basically Kim is trying a one on one approach to try and find out more about her relationship with French. Kim likens Khloe’s secretive behavior to a double life. Khloe feels like her marriage was a double life but not her present one.

Johnathon and Kim decide to stake Khloe and French out after seeing they are hosting a party together in LA on instagram. Because that’s normal. Kim thinks the club life is horrid and she is grateful North is a terrific sleeper. She feels like Khloe has become a whole new person since her marriage ended. Johnathon and Kim start to critique random people’s fashion style. Umm I’m pretty certain Kim has made a lot of ‘what not to wear’ lists, as well as a couple of ‘WTF’ lists! Mid-way through critiquing Kim decides to take a nap. Johnathon wakes Kim when he spies Khloe’s car, but Kim has spied something much much worse! LAMAR! Kim starts freaking out for Khloe and makes a mad dash to Khloe’s car. Kim admits to Khloe that she initially came to spy on her but tries to warn her about Lamar. Khloe has already spotted him and is freaking out. Kim decides during Khloe’s panic attack over running in to her separated philandering drug addict husband while on a date with her new love interest – that’s it’s the perfect opportunity to introduce herself to Mr Montana. As you do.


Khloe finds the whole thing confusing. She is confused why Lamar would attend a French Montana party. She is confused why her sister and Johnathon were stalking her and her date, and I am confused French Montana is allegedly still dating Khloe after being exposed to so much drama! Even though Khloe told the club owners she was fine around Lamar and she didn’t want him to be embarrassed or turned away, the club owners decided to not let Lamar in because they didn’t want any altercation. The crew eventually head in to the club. Kim is tickled pink she has FINALLY met Khloe’s new crew and French. French and his friends have the stamp of approval. Khloe decides that although her sister is a crazy stalker, she is grateful her sister’s inner stalker came out that night and by chance she was there to help her through a crazy situation.

Next time on KUWTK Kris throws Kim a bridal shower. Kim hits her breaking point with Brody and wedding invitation gate… and Kourtney announces she is pregnant after which Scott goes MIA.


Recap Author: Gina P.

Photo Credit: E!



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