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On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, Chyka Keebaugh has invited all the ladies to a much-needed beach getaway. Jackie Gillies and Lydia Schiavello kick things off with a shopping spree to stock up on zebra-patterned caftans from a nearby caftan specialty boutique (these exist). Lydia models a modest Grecian dress and a Jackie steps out in a teeny, tiny leopard-print mini spandex dress and aptly pokes fun at herself by saying she looks like “a stick with big tits”. Ha! Meanwhile, Lydia can only muster, “Oh Wow” (remember, she is just sooooo articulate) the entire time they shop.

Andrea Moss finishes up her packing, ensures her nanny has the 735-point checklist and off they go to airport where the group will be taking private helicopters to Queensland for their vacay.  Surprise, surprise Gina Liano is late. Again.  Janet Roach is about to cut a b*#%h if Gina doesn’t arrive in like 5 seconds. Gina rolls up (how many colbalt blue dresses can one have in their wardrobe anyway??!!) and is hoping everyone is chill for the trip.  

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ZOMG, of course Lydia drops the whole “I’m a co-pilot” routine as they board the helicopters.  We all remember how that went down a few weeks back when she flew with her husband, the actual, real pilot. Don’t touch anything Lydia!!! Gross, Lydia of course makes a sexual reference to the helicopter being fast and hard and eewww.  
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They arrive to the resort and are so excited to relax by the pool and enjoy some cocktails! However, that mood doesn’t last as the next morning Andrea (oof, that is some frizzy hair Andrea!) has a beef with Gina and is about to blow-up. She starts telling Lydia and Jackie all  the stuff that went down in the bathroom at Janet’s birthday and how Janet told her the crap Gina said.  Which was basically Gina ripping on Andrea and Lydia’s upcoming books and something about an email (that I still don’t know what that’s about). 
 
Jackie is a bit confused as she starting to get along Gina and encourages both Andrea and Lydia to bring it up at dinner that night and maybe she’ll fess up and all will be well (um, that NEVER happens Jackie).  Later on at the pool, Jackie and Gina lounge around and chat while Lydia and Andrea are still steaming about Gina and are reaching for anything to make fun of Gina – the fake tan and her knock-off bag. Ouch. This dinner could get ugly!
 
Across the pool, Janet and Chyka take some time to chat and we learn that Janet has been taking care of her youngest son this past year as he suffered burns on 70% on his body from a terrible accident. Janet shares that her friends were incredibly supportive and Chyka is such a good listener and friend – she’s just so darn genuine! 
 
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Lydia sees Gina all by herself and oh no. Lydia walks over to have a little chit chat with her. Gulp. Lydia is all, “What’s up with your dude? You guys done?”  And Gina is all, “I talk to him all the time, we’re friends. Yeah, we’re done but we keep in touch”. Lydia is like, “You need let that go and move on! Meet someone else!”.  Gina responds with the quote of all quotes to sum up Lydia’s life, “I don’t need a man to complete me”. ZING! They toast a drink and Lydia awkwardly walks away. Janet has a killer bod by the way! 
 
That evening, the dreaded confrontation dinner is upon us!  Jackie starts off by wanting everyone to say what their first impressions were of each other. This could have been terrible but each woman had really nice things to say to one another. Janet’s turn comes around and here we go. Essentially Janet, Andrea and Lydia air their grievances about how Gina is kinda mean, is always late and needs to just own that she can just a b*#%h sometimes.  Gina mostly laughs off the accusations and does take the high road to most of Andrea’s yelling.  Although, she should have been more sensitive to the fact that she does offend them and her lateness is rude – even if she was working late. So, I see definitely see the ladies points but Gina was being Gina.  I think to know her is to love her and if you don’t like how abrasive she can be, then maybe you shouldn’t be friends. And I think that’s okay in life!  Andrea was a psycho at the dinner, but man she was just fed up with Gina’s lawyer face all day long.  
 
Finally, we learn what the email was all about. Apparently, Gina was threatening someone outside their group with legal action if they didn’t cease and desist and just happened to CC Andrea and Lydia on the email. We go into this back and forth and the purpose of CC (which I do see Gina’s point) and Gina admits that it wasn’t directed at all to Andrea or Lydia – just copied them so they are aware (I guess I understand that explanation). Andrea’s blood is boiling and basically wants to have a pissing contest right now. Literally wants To “out-busy” and “out-wealth” Gina about her schedule and her $40K tennis court turf. So this is what Andrea wants! Respect and acknowledgment that she is rich, beeottcch!! We got the memo Andrea. 
 
The following morning Gina bails, which is lame – Gina should clear her name and give it a fresh shot at breakfast, but bailing is a bit weak IMO. The remaining ladies meet up for breakfast and discuss that disaster dinner.  All of a sudden Andrea has a change of heart and invites the whole group to her Liberty Belle Skin Spa opening party.  Oh jeez, that party is next week and we’ll see how that goes!
 
TELL US – SHOULD GINA HAVE FLED THE TRIP?
 
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
 
Photo Credit: Bravo TV
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