This week on Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons, the entire gang is staying at the Hamptons house and man, Kris Jenner is on fire.  She is bitching left and right.  Menopause, maybe? Kim Kardashian is sporting some serious side boob in what I’m pretty sure is a pink leotard.  Yep, a leotard. 

Later that day, Kim, Kourtney and Scott are hanging out on the back deck and Kim blabbers that Khloe needs to drop a few lbs.  Um, whaatttt???  Kim is the LAST person on the planet that should talk about losing lbs.  Kim mentions that she wants a flat ass and Scott chokes on his water mentioning that their huge asses are what keeps the money coming in, so they’ll need to keep them for now.  Kourt is bothered by how irritating Kris is now that she’s been single for awhile and wants to get her dating again to loosen her up a bit.  They’re going to remedy that with a date.  Eeew.

The next day, they are off apartment hunting in NYC.  Kim needs a huge new apartment to accommodate her growing family.  As you can imagine, they are looking at like 5,000 square foot condos that are sick!  Kim feels the pressure to put an offer in on the last place they view because there are 4 other offers on the table.  Kris talks her out of it because they have a palatial estate in LA that is not even complete and already have a home in NYC.  It’s too much on Kim’s plate to handle and essentially talks Kim out of it.
Back in the Hamptons, Khloe is rekindling an old flame with her love of horseback riding.  Scott and Kourt tag along to support her and make a little innocent wager.  Scott is determined that Khloe will take up riding horses as her new hobby but Kourt is convinced that Khloe is just too fancy now and although this is fun for a day – that’s about all it will last.  What’s at stake for their wager is the winner gets to decide who is in the delivery room for their 3rd baby.  Apparently, every person west of the Mississippi had front row seats to Kourt’s vag in the delivery room and Scott would like to limit the viewing gallery for next time. 
So far, Khloe appears anxious to come back and ride again as she is making a trip to an equestrian store to pick up gear with Scott.  Score 1 for Scott!  Unfortunately, Kourtney spewed out some pretty scary horseback riding facts about injuries, deaths, etc. and has spooked Khloe out.  Score 1 for Kourt! After another riding session, this time with Scott in tow, he thinks he’s won the bet.  Khloe is looking so smooth on that horse!  But to his dismay, she can’t seem to shake the legit fear that something terrible could happen while riding so she’s hanging her helmet up for now.  Not before she ultimately discovers that Kourt and Scott had a bet going.  Khloe is mildly peeved but gets over it (This is why Khloe is so likeable IMO).
Gross, the scene I’m dreading is the set-up date for Kris (who is unaware of any set-up btw).  Kim and Kourt have convinced their chef (poor sap) to come over and cook for them.  Jonathan, Kim’s bestie swings by for dinner with his mom and he is playing the matchmaker.  Dinner is served and while it appears there might be a chance for romance – it falls completely flat.  The chef is way toooo young and attractive for Kris.  Jonathan tries to force a little hanky panky but Kris catches on to their plan and doesn’t fall for it.  Another case of bad acting by the Kardashian gang if you ask me. 
Meanwhile, Kim and Kourt are chomping on chips sitting on the couch.  Kim happens to stumble across a gigantic manilla envelope laying around (so staged!) with paperwork showing that Kris is closing on the exact condo in NYC that she talked Kim out of days ago.  Kim is all, “what the???”.    That evening, Kris is chatting with Khloe and spills the beans about the condo.  Khloe does some major Princess Kate eye roll and makes the the 3rd best statement of the century about how ridiculous it is that Kris is constantly competing with Kim.  Kim has some tricks up her sleeve and decides to outbid her mother on the condo.  Kris confronts Kim about it and Kim is piiisssseed.  Kris, being so vain, can’t seem to understand what the big deal is – Kim did pass on the place earlier that week.  Ugh, this relationship is so dysfunctional.  Turns out a cash offer beats both of them and Kris finally realizes what a wacko insane move that was and apologizes to Kim. 
The episode ends with Kris dutifully making the fam banana pancakes and bacon for their last morning together in NY and this could be the only normal family scene I’ve seen all season. 
Next week – some family friend’s daughter wants to work at DASH, but Kourt tests her skills with some random tasks around the house instead.  YAWN.  This season should have ended with the last episode. 
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: E!
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