So who wants to place bets on whether Love & Hip Hop becomes more believable in 2015? As if! I am so far over the messy love triangle of Amina Buddafly, Peter Gunz and Tara Wallace. And, lesbihonest, there is nothing genuine about Erica Mena’s relationship with Cyn…except perhaps a fondness of Chipotle. Even the extremely likable Yandy Smith is making me yawn with her tired story line regarding recently released from prison’s Mendeecees Harris. I think the only thing that is remotely real is the lack of Diamond Strawberry’s maternal skills.
Last night’s episode begins with Amina confronting Peter, Tara, and their kids after he stood her up on date night. She’s sobbing over the fact that her husband keeps sneaking around on her with his ex, and he’s yelling that she shouldn’t have come into the restaurant knowing he was with his kids. When Amina sits on the curb to cry, the always classy Peter stomps off embarrassed. Tara decides to go comfort Amina, and Tara tries to explain that Peter is a part of her family. Amina begs her to just take Peter back instead of continuing to make a fool out of her. Where do these people come from? Idiots, every last one of them! Tara then walks a grateful Amina to her car.
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Cisco and Rich Dollaz are meeting up to rehash their lady drama like a couple of high schoolers. Rich always has an issue with Erica, and Cisco regales his friend of his latest drama…Diamond has moved to New York. He reveals that he’s upset that Diamond didn’t tell him she had a daughter. Rich reminds Cisco that she doesn’t know about his six-month-old. He’s worried Diamond will be able to do the math and figure out that he got his ex pregnant while he was with her. I don’t think he should be too concerned about her math abilities. The always wise Rich advises Cisco to be honest. Yeah, that will happen. Meanwhile, after Cyn’s latest jealous age, Erica seeks the advice of her best friend. He informs her that he’s seen Cyn riding around with a guy. In addition, there are rumors swirling that Cyn has been cheating on Erica…with dudes! Erica is convinced that Cyn is on the defensive in her attacks on Erica’s behavior.
Hey, remember that time Mendeecees tried to fight Yandy’s cousin Maurice for posting exercise pictures of her thighs on Instagram? It’s all a thing of the past. Now all three of them are work-out buddies! Mendeecees shares that Maurice came to visit him in jail, and they squashed their beef. Plus, Mendeecees has put on some pounds, so he needs to sweat. After laughing about their Vegas almost marriage, Yandy admits that she’s started planning their real wedding. Mendeecees takes this opportunity to berate Yandy for her new breasts, too much partying, and sexy Instagram pictures. Hmmm, I am not a fan of this controlling Mendeecees.
Erica and Cyn are meeting for lunch to once again yell at each other about the same damn issues. Cyn screams that Erica is disrespectful in her actions, and Erica is screaming that she knows a ton of dudes that Cyn has been creeping with around town. As their fight gets more heated, swatting ensues. A traumatized Cyn is ushered out, sobbing “she touched my face!” while Erica goes for her normal post-brawl cig. Did y’all notice that the restaurant was totally packed, yet none of the patrons so much as batted an eyelash at that ridiculous dramz? Time for some more awake extras, Mona!
Peter stays MIA for a while, and when he finally returns home, Amina tries to explain her hurt and frustration. He pops open a beer as she laments that her unborn baby is smaller than it should be at this point in her pregnancy. Peter demands to know why this is the first he’s hearing about this. Um, how about because you’re never home? He then wants a reason as to why the baby isn’t growing properly. When Amina tells him she’s under too much stress, he complains that she’s making him feel very guilty. Really, jackass? He tries to smooth talk his way to a kiss, and I want to reach through my television and smack some sense into Amina…and then take Peter to get a vasectomy. Geez.
Also vying for douchebag of the season, Cisco is meeting with him mom to get to the bottom of all his trust issues with women. Girls are constantly lying to him, and he blames his deep rooted fear of commitment on his relationship with his mother. He felt neglected and abandoned growing up with this mother. Cisco is tearful telling his mom that she’s the first woman who broke his heart. He mother apologizes for his messy childhood and her parenting mistakes. She pleads for him to open his heart to Diamond. I’m sorry for comparing him to Peter…at least he can conjure tears.
Yandy and Tara are catching up over lunch, and Tara relays the recent run in with Amina when she, Peter, and their boys were enjoying a family dinner. She quickly forays into her and Peter’s plans to take their sons on a family vacation. Yandy wonders if they are going to Disney, but no, Tara explains that their plans are to head to Barbados. Yandy doesn’t hold back. What kind of fun are a three and six-year-old going to have in romantic Barbados? It’s all sunsets and fruity drinks and next to no clothing. Tara is not convincing everyone with her repeated, robotic, “it’s just for our family” response. She may be dumber than Amina because she’s likely to end up with awful Peter!
Needing to vent about her swat-fest with Cyn, Erica goes to see Rashidah Ali. Kudos to Rashidah for sleek, beautiful hair. That red wig was terrible. Rashidah isn’t going to tell her friend what she wants to hear. She was in the wrong for getting physical with Cyn. Rashidah encourages Erica to reach out to Cyn and apologize. Erica hopes that they can make amends at Amina’s upcoming baby shower. Yes, baby showers are the best places to squash beef. Erica is excited to be hosting, but she’s preoccupied with whether Cyn will attend. When Cyn arrives, she asks to speak with Erica. Erica is gushing in her apology, but Cyn wants to take a step back. Erica begs Cyn to stay in her life, and I am so bored. Who are all these baby shower guests?
Nothing keeps a couple together forever like tattooing one’s lover’s name on one’s flesh–just ask Jax Taylor! Yandy and Mendeecees have decided to go through this romantic ritual, but they’ve kept their designs a surprise. He goes for the classic cursive font inside the wrist, while Yandy opts for the ever popular ring finger placement. Fun fact: this is Mendeecees’ first tat!
At his mom’s urging, Cisco has decided to work on his “relationship” with Diamond. He surprises her with a party welcoming her to New York. Is it just me, or do Diamond and Teen Mom’s Jenelle Evans favor each other? Once Diamond is happy with his efforts, he wants to chat. Cisco tries to butter her up by saying that he totally understands why she felt the need to keep her six-year-old daughter a secret from him because, well, um, he may have a six-month-old. According to Diamond, she and Cisco have been together for two years, and unfortunately for Cisco, Diamond is better at math than I predicted…
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