Little Women: LA Recap – Little Women, Big Easy

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On last night’s Little Women: LA, New Orleans got hit with Hurricane Terra/Tonya/Traci/Christy and a little downpour of Elena/Briana. The ladies hope taking a trip to the Big Easy will help mend fences, but after a smooth start, tensions rise over a psychic reading that Briana Mason attends.

First, we pick up right where we left off: in the feral cat fight of Elena Gant’s housewarming party. Tonya Banks holds Terra Jole back while she threatens Christy McGinty with a restraining order while Christy screams that Terra is nuts. Finally, Elena throws Christy out of the house. Christy is sick of Terra’s bullying and name calling, but Terra cries afterward and says she’s just “backing Joe up.” I don’t think Joe, prince that he is, needs any backup. Blaming her emotions on the pregnancy, Terra whines that everyone should be more understanding of her “condition.” Traci Harrison bemoans the fact that she actually – gasp! – swore. Groan.

Joe is leaving for a month-long drumming gig and Terra is not looking forward to being alone. She’s already gained 25 pounds during her pregnancy and she’s having a hard time doing regular tasks like driving and climbing. Gaining so much weight as a little person makes life in general even more challenging, and riskier. She says she feels more connected to Joe than ever and loves him soooooooo much, so doesn’t want him to leave. She doesn’t voice her fears that Joe-dog being away might increase his chances of being an enormous douche (or a cheat) on the road, but I can only imagine that’s buried somewhere deep inside her.

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Christy takes Elena out to coffee to apologize for the fight at Elena’s party. Elena says this conversation is like déjà-vu, and that Christy has claimed to want a “better friendship” before…to no avail. Elena says it never works to have the ladies together, so she basically gives up. Christy suggests they all go on a trip to New Orleans to rebuild their friendship. Huh? Elena thinks she’s crazy and doubts she’ll ever trust her again, but agrees to go. Again, huh?

Christy and Todd take a walk later to discuss the New Orleans trip. Todd reacts with the same expression of “what the flying f**k?” that I have on my face right now. He agrees to go anyway.    

Terra and Elena meet up to shop for baby clothes and Terra apologizes to Elena for fighting at her party as well. Elena seems to accept her apology pretty quickly, which is indicative of her alliance to Terra no matter how insane Terra acts. She tells Terra about the trip and as an added incentive, that Terra will get to see Joe because he’ll be performing in the New Orleans area while they’re there. Terra is concerned that Joe and Todd haven’t seen each other since the fight and they’re at the point where the men actually have more issues in the group than the women. That is just some sad stuff right there. Elena daftly says, “What bad can happen?” like someone who is literally new to this planet. Terra of course agrees to go so she can bust see Joe.

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Assembled at the airport, the ladies check in while Terra whines that she doesn’t know why she agreed to go on a trip with Christy after all. Too late, chica! Snakes on a Plane, here we come! Preston and Erik will join the ladies in a few days. Before Briana gets there, Tonya takes the opportunity to question her relationship with Matt, which she still thinks is suspicious. Christy shows up to tell the ladies about the place they’ll be staying which is a 2-story condo. She suggests Elena stay on the 2nd floor because she’s not as “dwarfy.” And that comment just made this entire episode worth watching. The group struggles with their luggage, which is as big as they are. And – HOLY HELL! – Traci biffs it at the bottom of an escalator hardcore, falling flat on her face and attracting a concerned crowd of onlookers. If she has a baby, insurance better cover a full time nanny to carry her baby for her at ALL times. Whoa. Scary.

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Arriving at the house, which is kind of awesome with kitchenettes in some rooms and a huge indoor pool, they unpack and head out on the town. Matt meets up with them for dinner. Talk turns to ghosts and hauntings and spirits, but Tonya wants nothing to do with this conversation. She feels it borders on witchcraft. Traci feels like it’s the work of the devil. So, with this light conversation started, Terra decides to bust in and ask Christy if she’d talk to her privately outside. Uh-oh. Outside, Terra asks if they can squash things and move on, claiming she and Christy are too much alike. True dat. Christy agrees and promises to keep her mouth shut more. Both ladies are scared of their men seeing each other for the first time, but they make a truce and hug it out between themselves…for now.

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The next morning, the gals grab some beignets while Tonya bitches about Matt again. She’s irritated by his presence apparently, while Traci is irritated by her lack of sleep due to the “banging on the wall” last night from Brian’s room. Erik and Todd arrive, which ups the tension a bit. Before any new fights get a chance to take shape, Todd ushers the group outside to pick up the crawfish dinner he ordered from the “crawfish guy” who literally shows up in an EMS vehicle. The group boils up dinner and sucks the heads off crawfish while Todd takes Erik aside to personally apologize to him. Erik accepts, then apologizes in return. They both seem relieved. Todd says he plans on apologizing to Joe soon too. And I just gotta say: Good Job, Todd. Again.

The group takes a swamp tour the next day, boogies on Bourbon Street and generally has a fun time until a psychic sign catches Briana’s eye. She suggests they all get a group reading, which Traci, Christy, and Tonya turn down flat. They are all convinced it’s the devil’s work, period. Elena agrees to go to support Briana even though she thinks psychics are fake. Her experience with a Russian psychic back in the day who told her to go to the forest and pick berries – or some nonsense – to make her grow bigger did not leave her with much faith in the psychic, em, profession. She had a dream! She had a dream that one day she’d come to America and catfight with a hostile group of little people nonstop! And that dream lives on. Saint Preston the Longsuffering shows up to add more normal oxygen to the environment, at least.

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At the psychic, Terra, Briana, Matt, Elena, and Preston show up, but Preston and Elena opt out of the reading at the last minute. A guy in mental hospital scrubs and a skull headscarf begins to tell Briana and Matt that their “new love” will have bumps and that adjustments will need to be made, especially on Matt’s side. Matt is then advised by the totally legitimate psychic to “sh*t or get off the pot.” Briana is happy to hear this news and promises she will catch Matt if he leaps, not literally of course. She is listening to this head-scarfed dude like he is the Messiah.

Speaking of Jesus, Tonya again invokes her belief in Him when Briana comes back to the house wanting to tell everyone about the reading. Tonya flat out says “I.Don’t.Want.To.Hear.It” as slowly as she can so Briana understands exactly what she’s getting at (translation: I will physically attack you if you attempt to freak me out and I pee my jeans). Briana is pissed off, thinking that Tonya is a bad friend to shut her down when she’s come bearing good news of roses and daisies and purple-haired men with tarot cards who are 100% ensuring her a lifetime of happiness with her new boyfriend (who her entire family hates). The entire group takes this opportunity to get into an argument about who should talk about what…blahblahblah. And Elena freaks out on Tonya (rightly so), so Tonya calls her “little boss!” before she storms out, with Traci lamely following her. Christy runs after them both, but we have to wait until next week to enjoy YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT unfold for absolutely pointless reasons.

So, just when we thought wounds were on the mend, all of the band aids get ceremoniously ripped off again. C’mon little women! Get it together.

Recap Author: Erin M.


Photo Credit: Lifetime