This week we open this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne with Lydia Schiavello and Chyka Keebaugh catching up and having a midday cocktail. Lydia is flying to Florence for her son’s wedding. Her son is 24 and Lydia is 45 and she can’t believe he’s getting married but nonetheless she is incredibly excited for him. Lydia really does look great for 45.
Chyka wastes no time and spills the beans (very un-Chyka like! But somehow, I still love her even when she is gossiping) about her lunch the other day with Gamble and Janet Roach. She gives her the lowdown. Chyka just asked Gamble Breaux about what the entire city of Melbourne has read in the press regarding her last relationship. However, Janet comes out of left field with asking her about the “rumors” that Gamble was a stripper and likes to throw sex parties. Chyka tells Lydia she has no idea where that came from and Lydia is so peeved she wasn’t a fly on the wall during that lunch.
On a lighter note, we get to see Jackie Gillies’ hubby Ben! They are doing a video promoting their La Mascara brand and their dynamic is hilarious. It’s endearing to see how much they love each other. Poor Ben can’t help but take over the directing of the video where Jackie is the star of the show. After running through 38 different pronunciations of “La Mascara” (their liquor brand) they finally wrap the shoot. Janet swings by to say hello and it’s her turn to tell ask Jackie for advice on how to handle her lunch from Hell with Gamble. She wants Jackie to read her for advice about the Gamble situation. Jackie, being the straight-shooter that she is, tells her to be ready because Gamble is pissed. And Gamble is going to be pissed for a while. Janet is kinda freaking out from that news, but decides to invite Gamble to a golf/lunch she’s planning for the ladies.
We get to Pettifleur Berenger (the only time in this episode unfortunately) and her tea date. She’s invited over her eyebrow esthetician (and co-author, well – soon to not be her co-author) for a status update on her Switch the Bitch book. Apparently, Pettifleur is co-writing her book with her. Her lovely friend tells her she has about 10 chapters completed so far. It’s mostly about relationships and love and how to find love and Pettifleur has already decided this isn’t working . Pettifleur politely-ish tells her this ain’t gonna work out. They need to just write their own separate books. The co-author idea was a mistake, as good ole Petti is more into how we turn oneself into their inner bitch rather than finding true love, so yeah, no. No, you must leave. Her friend takes the news quite well and the tea ends with her asking to come in for an eyebrow waxing and man, was that segment just odd. Pettifleur is one strange lady. I can see how she doesn’t have that many (if any) friends given that she asks her eyebrow waxer to co-write a book with her.
Later that night, Jackie, Janet, Gamble and Gina meet up at fashion show in town. Jackie and Janet are enjoying some champs when Gamble barges in and starts wailing on Janet. Jackie, your psychic capabilities are spot on! Gamble calls Janet out. She doesn’t believe for one minute anyone said that she was a stripper or throws sex parties and that Janet made all of that up. At this point, Janet needs to just fess up. If you didn’t make it up, you would just be like, “F’it, your cousin Tonya told me this”. But we hear none of that. Just an embarrassed Janet deflecting and blaming Gamble for asking her what rumors she was talking about. So Gamble decides to make up a rumor (off the cuff) and blurt out to Janet that she’s heard Janet sells her body for heroin. Um, what’s that you say? Gamble admits in her interview she made it up to piss off Janet. However, I applaud for Gamble admitting she just said that out of anger and that it’s false. Albeit, completely wacko of Gamble, she did admit she lied (Could be a housewife first!).
Gina Liano arrives, gets the 411 from Gamble (in front of everyone) and Gina is now laughing at this point. She tells Janet that perhaps Gamble is peeved she was all over her man at the murder mystery party last week. Janet starts to just feel like an a-hole at this point. The fashion show starts and she admits to Gina that she has gotten herself into trouble yet again. I think Janet is starting to understand that she can’t just make this stuff up and pretend like they are “rumors” and then tell said rumors to those people. You just can’t. Post-show, Janet apologizes to Gamble, but Gamble doesn’t want to hear it. Janet leaves because she’s not wasting her time on people that won’t accept her apologies. Gamble does a great job in her interviews figuring Janet out and she’s not too far off from what everyone else is starting to think.
Later that week – Lydia is co-hosting a charity poker event with Shane Warne (a cricket legend, people! And Liz Hurley’s ex). She is getting a little poker lesson from some pros before the event in a few weeks. Watching Lydia tune in and out of the instructions from these guys is hilarious. I can see her brain working at this point. Well, struggling to work. Although a teeny bit ditzy, she does seem more relaxed and fun to be around this season. She’s not as pretentious as last year.
Jumping over to Gamble back home on the couch with her adorable fiancé, Rick, where they are re-hashing AGAIN what Janet said about her. Granted it was terrible and false, it’s a lame storyline and I just can’t get invested into it.
On the brighter side of things, we flash to Chyka’s closet (aka her son’s old bedroom. I have all boys and I am counting the days until I can turn their bedroom into a massive walk-in closet). She’s organizing it with her daughter Chessie, who is brutally honest about her mom’s style. It’s such a sweet scene between the two!
Later that week, Janet has lunch with a dear old friend and socialite, Manuela. In a nutshell, Janet debriefs Manuela on all events from the past week. Manuela is a bit intimidating and has a “Don’t mess with me, I own this town” as her resting face, so I’d steer clear of this lady. She flat out tells Janet after she arrives that Janet’s hair extensions look like limp linguine. Manuela has also heard some rumors about Gamble which comes a HUGE shock to Janet (since she made them up) and now feels like she has some ammo next time she see Gamble that she isn’t insane, blah blah blah. Both of these women are enjoying a hate-fest on Gamble as they cackle over several glasses of champs.
Across town, Gamble meets Gina for dinner and continues to discuss the debacle of stripper gate. Gamble mentions to Gina that she might consider legal recourse and Gina is all “Whoa Whoa Whoa”. Gamble has a bad track record in court and needs Gina to remind her about how poorly portrayed Gamble was in the press with her ex. Gamble admits she tends to go off the deep end for revenge at times and is happy Gina is reeling her in. While I think Janet is in the wrong about this, I’m still on the fence about Gamble. Something about her feels incredibly defensive about these comments which seems like she might have been stereotyped for accusations like this in the past.
Next week is Janet’s golf trip and let’s hope that Gamble has cooled off enough to enjoy it!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK JANET MADE UP THE RUMORS? DO YOU THINK LA MASCARA IS A TERRIBLE NAME FOR ALCOHOL?
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: Bravo TV