Well, it’s time for the new franchise of Lifetime’s Little Women series to make its debut! Little Women: New York premiered last night just after part one of the Little Women: L.A. reunion ended. And crossover “stars” from both cities appeared everywhere. Lila Call, a LWNY cast member, joined the LWLA ladies at their reunion to rehash her extreme antics with the ladies in LA last season. Then Elena Gant showed up on the LWNY premiere to sh*t stir like her name was Christy McGinty. Jeez, Elena! I thought she “had a dream!” that little people everywhere would one day live in peace? This dream is not happening in New York – or LA – with these groups of women.
We begin in NY with an introduction to the 6 little women and 1 little man who make up the cast. Lila Call (the ringleader), Misty Irwin (the party girl), Dawn Lang (paralegal career girl), Jason Perez (poly-sci student and – er – a guy!), Jazmin Lang (sister in law to Dawn & performer), Jordanna James (Broadway & burlesque performer), and Kristin Zettlemoyer (performer). Gotta say, I’m loving the opening video montage and soundtrack! Waaaaaaay better than LWLA!
Lila and Jason are at a local market picking up flowers and wine for Elena Gant’s upcoming visit. After Jason hoists Lila up to eye-level, the deli counter employee finally notices her. Lila interviews that growing up as a little person in the suburbs was very hard. A self described “hot mess,” Lila moved to NY years ago for a guy, which she admits was a bad reason. She loves the city now despite its many little person challenges: reaching the door buzzer at a friend’s apartment, hailing a cab, and especially the temptations of NY’s nightlife. Lila’s been sober for a year, but recollects a battle with drinking that left her blacking out most nights. Now she’s single and looking for love, but not in the bars.
Jason is Lila’s “Filipino Sidekick” who still lives with his parents…until marriage. Jason has felt cut off from love in the past, but remains hopeful. He asks Lila how her trip to LA was and Lila reports it was terrible, but she still wishes Terra & Joe happiness in their new venture starting a family. Lila loved Elena, so she invited her out to meet her circle. Lila deadpans, “it’s good politics to have a Russian ally.” OMG – this chick is whack, but weirdly awesome.
Jason meets up with Jordanna, a former backup dancer to Miley Cyrus, for their weekly dance class. Jason has a “girl crush” on Jordanna, who is 4-feet tall and swears like a sailor, burps, farts, sweats, and basically rules. She’s currently acting in the Broadway show, “Sideshow” in which she plays the world’s smallest woman. She sees herself as a legit actress and is not interested in anymore Elf roles, yo! Anthony is Jordanna’s average sized boyfriend who she lives with. She tells Jason Anthony may be going away for a new job soon and she’s insecure about him being faithful. Jason says he fears ever finding love because “why would someone pick a broken toy” like him? Aww, man. I just want to reach through the screen and give Jason a big hug right now. That is so sad. Jordanna tells him never to think that way and both begin to get emotional. They encourage each other that they’ll always have each other, no matter what.
Elena arrives in the Big Apple to work on her new clothing line! Lila welcomes her into her home and they immediately begin discussing the drama Lila stirred up in LA. Lila swears that her NY friends are way better than the LA group & Elena will love them. Way slide an insult in there, Lila!
Before we throw Elena into the mix, Lila, Jason, and Dawn go take an aerial yoga class together. They swing and hang and wiggle with the best of ‘em. No injuries to report here, so I guess it was a success! Dawn is a bit abrasive and works very hard not to be a stereotypical “little person performer.” She’s a paralegal and has faced serious health issues over the years, including 16 fractures in her legs & 12 corrective surgeries. She has the same form of dwarfism as her parents, which ended up putting them both in wheelchairs.
Dawn heads over to pick up her sister in law, Jazmin, who’s married to Dawn’s brother David. Jazmin is described as a wild child and a spicy Latina! She’s still Jazmin from the Bronx, ya’ll! She met David when she was 18, but getting married hasn’t tamed her at all. She’s striving to be a little person performer, which Dawn is against because the competition among LP performers is so high. She doesn’t want her to be just another one of the “elves and leprechauns” out there, encouraging her to get a “real” degree & career instead. The two ladies head out on the town to meet the rest of the group for drinks.
We’re introduced next to Misty, who Jordanna describes as the “ditz” and “dumb blonde” of the group. She says having big boobs and blonde hair doesn’t make you dumb, but in her case it’s just a coincidence. In Misty’s interviews, she looks like she’s reading cue cards – and not that well, mind you. She is the most awkwardly scripted of the group so far. Misty’s family is all average sized and don’t treat her any differently than her siblings. Her boyfriend Joe is also average sized and Misty claims the two of them are the “New Brangelina!” She dubs them “Misto.” And that’s exactly what I’ll be calling her/him/them from here on out.
The ladies assemble at the restaurant while Lila walks in with the guest of honor: Elena. Elena explains her recent butt lift to the group and the group is not very receptive. Dawn can’t understand why Elena would have elective cosmetic surgery when most little people are just trying to AVOID surgery altogether. We meet Kristin next, who Lila describes as the hopeless romantic & sweetheart of the group. Kristin has been divorced for years, but still recalls the pain of it. She’s still open to love and recently met Josh, a little person who’s 11 years younger. He lives in CT, so they’ve been dating long-distance so far (3 months).
Back at the party, Elena confronts Jason about his sexuality. “Do you prefer ladies or gentleman?” Elena awkwardly asks as if she’s been forced by Lifetime producers to read this question from a pre-approved script. I wouldn’t put it past the network to insert Elena as the sh*t starter for this New York crew, given that they plopped Lila into the LA circle for exactly the same purpose. Jason evades the question for now, forgetting that he just showed the entire viewing audience that he loooooves dance classes, hangs out with only girls, and lives with his overprotective parents. He wonders if this Russian chick has a filter.
Meanwhile, Lila is off in the corner getting her creepy on and asking Anthony who he would be with if he wasn’t with Jordanna. <hint hint> He also evades the question. These men know how to duck & roll, dude! Jordanna knows Lila is honing in on her man, but she doesn’t give a rip because Lila “hits on anything that walks.” Jordanna can understand why the girls in LA hated her, but she’s willing to put up with her…for now.
Elena and Dawn get chatting about fashion, which Dawn blogs about. Elena insinuates that Dawn’s fashion sense is awful because she dresses “like older lady” and “woman twice her age.” Dawn quips back that she wouldn’t be caught dead in Elena’s trampy low-cut dress. And I think this is more about NY versus LA style: ie, NY has style and LA wants to. Elena says she wants to show off her cookies, thankyouverymuch. And Misto (not the cooking spray) pipes up to unsuccessfully diffuse the situation while Lila throws her shoes across the restaurant in some sort of solidarity statement with just “wearing what you want, dammit!”
Next up on Elena’s pre-approved attack script is Kristin, who Elena confronts about an affair she “heard” about & her subsequent divorce. Kristin looks like she just ate a toad, but she defends herself first by attacking Lila, who has quite a colorful past herself. So maybe that’s why she’s been smack-talking about her to Elena? Kristin interviews that her divorce was messy & painful and is no one’s business. Misto butts in again to no avail. Elena screams, “if somebody has problem with my question, please let me know!” Um, I think everyone has PROBLEM with all of your ‘QUESTION,’ Elena. Perhaps you shouldn’t have agreed to stay on script this time? It’s not doing any favors for your image. The table erupts into the ladies yelling over one another while Misto and Kristin leave to cry in the corner.
Dawn calls Lila out on “briefing” Elena on Kristin’s divorce. Elena defends Lila and Lila interviews that “of course” she didn’t want Elena to bring any of this dirt up tonight (mm hmm). Kristin is basically hyperventilating in the corner. Jordanna heads over to help Misto comfort Kristin; all three ladies are pissed at Lila, who they consider the root of all this drama. Back at the table, Jazmin admonishes Elena too, telling her it’s all about respect. Kristin returns to the table to yell at Lila, but the Jedi cannot be unraveled by crazy b*tches yelling at her. We’ve seen her calmly withstand the likes of Tonya Banks calling her a “money ass” and Terra Jole telling her she’s “Joe’s Ho” on LWLA, so this is nothing. Elena takes one last stab at the Razzie Award by fake-yelling at the group again, but the acting moment falls flat & it actually looks as if Elena might crack up laughing at this nonsense she’s probably been forced to start.
Lila & Elena leave. The group says good riddance to Elena, but agree that Lila is on their sh*t list now. Oooh! Cross-coastal sh*t lists for Lila, I guess!
TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE LWNY PREMIERE? WAS ELENA OR LILA AT FAULT FOR THE DRAMA?
Photo Credit: Lifetime