Little Women: LA Recap: Divorce, Of Course

For fans and viewers of Little Women: LA, the marriage drama between self-proclaimed Bonnie and Clyde Briana Renee and Matt Ericson is s staple since he came on the scene, ripped jeans and tacky t-shirts a blazin’. But this season has given us a welcome reprieve from hearing about the “did he/didn’t” he cheating rumors that dog them and they have even hung around the other cast quite a bit. Well, that’s about to be shot to hell, thanks to a huge fight between them, which resulted in Briana (sort of) growing a pair of balls and threatening divorce. Don’t go getting all excited though….you know how these troubled relationships never quite end as quickly as they are supposed to.

Jasmine Sorge is finally coming home from the hospital with her new baby, Benjamin and as much as I like Jasmine, maybe now we can stop hearing about how hard her pregnancy was. It’s not that I don’t feel for her, but if I had to hear one more time about her hormones making her turn into a she-devil, I was going to lose it. Oh, and her delivery was also terrible and traumatic because she got sick to her stomach and had to have someone hold her eyelashes baby, while he had to barf into a bag. But now she’s home and her husband is still alive (for now).


Christy McGinty Gibel has her own medical problems. She recently had surgery to replace a disk in her neck, which resulted in a nicked artery and a loss of half a pint of blood. For the record, this has nothing to do with getting bopped in the head with a plastic cup full of water thrown by Terra Jole. At least we don’t think so. Christy’s medical history is more complicated than Matt and Briana’s relationship. Tonya Banks decides to come and visit and drags Kerwin along with her, which is probably the last thing he was interested in doing that day. Or any day. After a few minutes of hanging out and Christy giving them her dramatic life or death surgery story, Christy begins to loosen up, literally, by taking her neck brace off, and reveals that husband Todd Gibel is so overweight that he is upstairs hiding instead of taking care of her.


Later, when her friend Rhonnie stops by with a bucket of chicken Christy can’t even eat, Christy repeats the same story, making it out like Todd is some kind of obese Phantom of the Opera, hiding away from daylight and only using a scooter to come out and get food before scooting back to the depths of his obesity lair. Rhonnie is aghast and can’t understand how Todd could do this to Christy when she looks like Frankenstein herself. Jeez, first you bring the poor girl delicious chicken she can’t even eat and now you call her Frankenstein? With friends like Rhonnie……Anyway, before Rhonnie leaves, she makes sure to stir up drama between Christy and her estranged friendship with Elena Gant, who is not a good friend for not rushing to Christy’s neck braced side. The seeds are planted and Christy realizes she needs to confront Elena about this.

When they do meet later, Christy is neck brace free and ready to tell Elena what a crap friend she was for not rushing to her bedside. Elena is unmoved and admits in her confessional that she feels like Christy is just overly dramatic and didn’t think her surgery was that big of a deal. And Christy didn’t even congratulate Elena on having her babies until they were a month old. But Christy wants to repair the friendship and “communicate” better, even though Elena doesn’t think it’s possible.


Onto more medical updates, Briana is back from another quick trip to the hospital for gall stones. But instead of recovering, she is taking care of baby Maverick on her own because she kicked Matt out of the house after a big fight. She calls Jasmine to fill her in and long story short, Briana is questioning her marriage for real this time. According to her, their fights always start out small, in this case, because Briana set a baby bottle down on what Matt deemed was an unclean surface and Matt now questions Briana’s ability to take care of their child. Uhhh Matt, you are an unclean surface. Briana fought back, throwing back in his face how he used to cheat on her and then told him to leave because she is filing for divorce. So now she is faced with a decision: does she lose the Clyde to her Bonnie and also much needed help around the house? Or does she take care of herself emotionally. This is quite the conundrum. Especially knowing this all stemmed from fighting about an unclean countertop. More on this later.


Elena goes to visit Jasmine and get a much needed lesson in how childproofing a pantry works. That was painful to watch. I don’t understand how someone sporting a laced up shirt and leather collar for a necklace could not figure out how to open a cabinet door with two hands. They sit down to talk and Elena is hoping to put her issues with Terra’s friendship (or lack thereof) behind them and Jasmine spills the beans on what is going on with Briana. Of course Jasmine thinks getting the girls together to help support Briana in her marriage crisis would be a good idea, completely forgetting the girls have never supported Briana in her marriage to begin with, let alone when it’s in crisis.


Once they all meet, Briana decides she has no choice but to tell the girls what is going on. Meaning, she has no one else to tell and thinks maybe they have moved on enough to actually tell her what she wants to hear. NOPE. As Briana pussy foots around what is happening, she finally admits that while she can trust Matt (because she has all of his social media passwords), she might not be able to get past what he has previously done to her. Terra just says what we are all thinking: how can you trust someone when the only way you’re satisfied is by regularly monitoring their every move? Instead of listening, Briana goes into defense mode and this is the main reason why no one wants to hear her sob story about her dumb marriage – because she really doesn’t want to do anything about it. We all have a friend like this right? Always breaking up with her loser of a man but getting back with him two days later after you have sufficiently lent your energy into dogging him out with her and building her back up. It’s exhausting and Briana takes the cake on this.

Even when Briana meets with her friend Lisa, you can tell Lisa has heard this idle threat of Briana leaving Matt so many times that she’s out of advice and energy. She feeds into Briana only slightly, asking if Briana really loves Matt and a teary Briana takes way too long to respond.

A few days later, Elena gets together with Terra to talk about it while getting permanent Joan Crawford eyebrows on their faces. Elena is such a busy mom, she really needs to spend less time on her eyebrows and this will totally do the trick. God, if only I had these problems……sigh. All that aside, Terra has another problem brewing with Briana. She found out that after Briana pestered her for an invite to Dancing with the Stars, she chatted up Terra’s manager to try and get representation. Why is Terra surprised by this? I could have told her that’s what would happen if she invited Briana to something she claimed she was in the running for! The thirst is real, people.


Back to Briana and Matt and whatever they are going to do in their dumb marriage that no one really cares about but them. We join Briana at home, sitting on her bed, writing in her dream journal and waffling about all the reasons why she doesn’t want to get divorced. Then she takes the blame, saying how she isn’t good at marriage and maybe she doesn’t give it enough of an effort. Or maybe, just maybe, you pick horrible losers to marry? Hello?! As always, Matt shows up and says something rehearsed for the camera to make him seem less disgusting than he is. Briana claims she doesn’t make herself vulnerable enough and Matt blames their issues on having a baby that doesn’t sleep. They go around and around, both saying they don’t know how much more they can take. Me neither. And with that, we are left “to be continued….”


Photo Credit: Lifetime