Little Women: NY Recap – “Puerto Rico Fever”

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On last night’s Little Women: NY we begin with the entire group, sans Jordanna James, meeting to hear Jazmin Lang’s trip idea: Puerto Rico! Jazmin’s mother is Puerto Rican and she wants to take everyone to her “home” so they can relax and bond again. Jordanna is invited even though she and Jason Perez are at odds. The group is assembled the next day with rolling bags as big as they are, but they’re troopers and hustle their way into cabs and to the airport. Lila Call says traveling abroad can be tough for a little person, but she just plans to bat her eyelashes to get a little help.

The group arrives safe & sounds at their hotel in PR. Jazmin climbs up on her suitcase to reach the check-in desk and, again, props to all of them for getting themselves into their rooms with all the schlepping and struggling of travel! Dawn Lang is still burning up about Misty Irwin and Kristin Zettlemoyer dissing her “big event” last weekend (i.e.: her brokedown charity auction), so she plans to confront them at dinner. In another room, Jordanna is complaining to Kristin about Jason’s ridiculous behavior at Dawn’s event in throwing Jordanna publicly under the bus. For her part, Kristin is not feeling Dawn lately and tells Jordanna that she’s ready to snap if Dawn rubs her the wrong way on this trip. So, bring on the dinner confrontation!

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Day one of vacay is going well, but Lila is not comfortable getting into a bathing suit with her body issues. “Bathing suit season snuck up on my a$$,” says Lila. Dawn agrees. Jordanna is not feeling the “I hate my body” vibe, so she actually enjoys herself on the beach while her friends Debbie Downer the heck out of her. At dinner later, Lila falls in love with the waiter while Jordanna and Jason side-eye each other and trade jabs across the table. Dawn piles on by telling Jason he should pay her charity extra money for “stealing” it last week in his middle-school antics with Jordanna’s painting. “You should be able to afford it since you don’t pay rent,” snipes Dawn. Ouch! Dawn moves on to Kristin next, asking what she thought of her event. Kristin bluntly says the event was facilitated poorly and sparsely attended. Go, Kristin! Wow. Misty acts like Miss Innocent while Kristin asks Dawn if she ever gets sick of hearing herself talk. “You are a pain in the a$$,” says Kristin plainly. Dawn’s hands start flailing around while she accuses Kristin of being uneducated and unprofessional. But before Dawn can get even “profess..” out, Kristin throws a dang wine glass straight in her face!

The group scatters after Kristin marches out of the restaurant. Jazmin and Lila stay with Dawn while Jordanna and Misty follow Kristin. Where’s Jason? (Where’s the waiter?) Jordanna asks Misty why she didn’t say anything, but Misty says she “just froze.” Kristin is pissy that Misty is copping out with her mealy-mouthed answers. The next morning, Lila, Jazmin, and Dawn discuss Kristin’s lack of self-control. Dawn thinks Kristin needs anger management. Kristin’s anger this morning has shifted from Dawn to Misty, who Kristin feels is a bad friend for not backing her up.  

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Despite the drama, the entire group goes golfing. The golf concierge looks shocked to see 7 little people asking to play golf, but she comes back with children’s clubs that seem to work for them. With no pedal-extenders for the golf carts, they have to basically stand up to drive, but manage to zoom their way on to the course eventually! Misty sucks at golf. And loyalty, according to Kristin. At hole-who-cares, Kristin confronts Misty about not having her back, like ever, and Misty freezes again, pretty much not responding to Kristin’s accusations. Kristin feels like she’s talking to a wall, so she walks away. Since they live together, this may present a longer term problem for this duo. 

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With golf drama behind them, the group takes to the high seas. Lila is finding it tough being on vacation without alcohol, but stays strong in the face of everyone drinking around her on the boat. Kristin takes Dawn aside to apologize about throwing a glass at her, BUT she follows up with a request that Dawn lessens her grip and quits being so hard on the group. Dawn breaks down in tears about how she has to be hard because she doesn’t have anyone to depend on. Both of her parents are deceased, and she especially misses her mom, who she says was the love of her life. Dawn breaks down in tears remembering her mother, who was her best friend and biggest supporter. Kristin hugs Dawn and says they’re all there for Dawn, no matter what. 

Seeing Dawn and Kristin make amends, Jordanna is inspired to reconcile with Jason. Here’s how she smoothly goes about doing it it: she approaches him and demands, “I feel like I need an apology!” Jason does not react well, to put it mildly. After they both escalate to their normal level of bickering, Jason screams, “You don’t get it, do you?!” and pushes Jordanna, cocktail and all, off the boat. #scriptedlikeeverythingelse  Feigning concern, Jason then scurries to “rescue” scream to her while the rest of the ladies rush boat side. Misty says Jordanna, like many little people, has tubes in her ears and may need to seek medical attention if she gets water in them. After Jordanna climbs back up in the boat, Jason is all over her like a cheap suit with his claims that, “OMG, I didn’t mean to do it! I didn’t mean toooooooo!” Jordanna has no time for him, as she furiously dries her ears and fumes at his a$$holery. Jason tells the group he “accidentally touched her” and didn’t mean for her to go overboard. All I have to say to Jason is: we have DVR’s, dude. We see you.

At dinner later, Jordanna privately meets with Jason so he can apologize to her. He admits that when she called him a coward, it hit him like a ton of bricks and embarrassed  him deeply in front of the group. Jordanna says she knows he didn’t push her on purpose (really!?) and Jason cries as they hold hands and drop their weapons. Jason sobs that he doesn’t want to be a failure living with his parents forever, but he needs support right now. Jordanna agrees that she loves and supports him no matter what. They both agree to move forward and hug it out to seal the deal. 

It’s the final night in Puerto Rico and the group goes out for cocktails to a local club. Some slimy dudes are taking phone photos of them, but Jordanna seems to be the only member of the group to take umbrage with this sleazy fetishist behavior. “It’s not ok,” she says flatly. The others kind of brush it off and Jason says they have to pick their battles. Misty chooses this moment to pull Dawn aside to “come clean” about her part in the trash-talking about her event. Misty does come clean, which Dawn thinks takes a lot of guts, so she forgives her. Jordanna and Kristin rake her over the coals about lying a bit more though and don’t seem ready to let it go. Misty just wants to be loved and accepted, but in lieu of forgiveness from her friends, she gets a cold shoulder instead as Jordanna and Kristin head off to shake their thangs on the dance floor.   

TELL US: DID JASON PUSH JORDANNA OFF THE BOAT ON PURPOSE? IS MISTY A BAD FRIEND? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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