Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this tropic port, aboard this giant ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure. The newbies were a crazy bunch looking for a bitchy resting face cure. On last night’s Below Deck, Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow proved once again that she is a whiny horndog who is used to getting her way, Don Abenante proved once again that he is a whiny meathead who is too good to use a mop, and Connie Arias proved that she may be the only semi-normal, halfway likable newbie aboard Captian Lee Rosbach’s Eros.
The episode begins as Bosun Eddie Lucas and Chief Stew Kate Chastain summon Rocky and Emile Kotze down from the radar, warning both that it could fry their brains or at the very least knock them off the yacht and send them toppling into the ocean. Are these people for real? Eddie then threatens to fire Emile if he does anything that stupid again. Rocky gets a more passive aggressive but similar speech from Kate. Luckily, Captain Lee is going to have the final word. Rocky smirks as she’s scolded and then complains that everyone is making a mountain out of a mole hill. The charter guests are still recovering from the foam party and have decided to sleep in, which makes Kate very grateful.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
We learn that Connie received a text message the night before from her brother saying that their dad had died suddenly of a heart attack. She reveals that she doesn’t have a relationship with her father, and she feels very numb. She has no plans to leave the charter. Kate’s spirit animal is jovial when he finally rises. If you’re going to be hung over the best place to be hung over is on a yacht. Amen sir! Kate has Rocky doing all the grunt work, and Rocky isn’t the least bit thrilled to be scrubbing toilets and ironing the charter guest’s tightie whities. Emile has moved on from flirting with Rocky and has set his sights on Connie as the two prepare a beach picnic of paella for the guests. Connie has decided not to tell her coworkers about her father’s passing. She hasn’t spoken to him in 12 years and describes an abusive past.
It’s clear that Don is on Eddie’s last nerve, and everyone seems to be annoying Kate–especially chef Leon Walker. Fingers crossed that the rain holds off for the picnic! Rocky whines to Connie about Kate’s treatment of her, and Connie shares that they’re from the same town and are friends. Rocky rolls her eyes. She would never be friends with Kate, and she wants to keep their work relationship purely platonic. Someone please get Rocky a dictionary! The storm rolls through quickly and the sun peeks from behind the clouds as the guest arrive on the beach for their paella. The main guest Steve won’t let anything rain on his parade, and Rocky tries to defend herself against his drunk advances. Returning to the yacht, Steve gushes about the wonderful picnic, and he’s ready for his Mexican themed dinner party which features a lot of margaritas. Steve is donning Lee with a sombrero and mustache sticker. I love to see the Captain let loose a bit! Meanwhile, Eddie is doling out the orders to his deck crew when Don comes up and pretends to hump him from behind without Eddie’s knowledge. After Eddie leaves, Emile chastises Don for being disrespectful to Eddie. Don doesn’t take kindly to his coworker’s unsolicited comments.
That evening, Leon hopes to impress the guests with his Mexican spaghetti. Kate is freaked out by it, but I think it looks amazing. As Leon says, anyone can cook fajitas. As the crew eats below deck, Rocky rubs Eddie’s back and asks if he has a girlfriend. He tells his coworkers all about his lady love, but Rocky can’t hide her crush as she makes sexual jokes about her pork chop bone. I can’t with this girl, and it’s only the second episode. Connie’s brother is struggling with their father’s death. Connie wants to get home to him if he needs her, but she also contemplates flying him down for an escape at some point during the season. She shares the news with Captain Lee and Eddie and admits that she might need to leave if her brother requests that she come home.
The charter guests’ livers are working overtime, and Amy tries to cut off Steve from gorging on Limoncello. Kate and Amy Johnson discuss Rocky’s horrible choices and sometimes lackluster work ethic. Amy hopes that Rocky doesn’t become the her of last season to Kate. Late night, Eddie and Amy dish on the first charter and how things are coming together. Eddie is glad to see Amy and Kate getting along better, but he understands Amy’s concern as Kate becomes more frustrated with Rocky. Meanwhile, Kate has channeled her eye rolling at bunk mate Leon as he bemoans the state of their shared bathroom. Kate cleans other people’s bathrooms all day, she’s not concerned about her own. As Connie and Emile get ready for bed, he asks about her father’s death. He seems surprised that she claims to have no feelings about it. Connie explains her situation, and Emile shares in his interview that he has unresolved issues with his family as well. Not surprisingly, the guests are still drinking, and Steve’s girlfriend pops champagne with Eddie and tries to get him to join her in the bedroom. After politely declining, Eddie goes to share the menage a trois that could’ve been with Amy. He laughs at the charter guests’ many attempts to hook up with the crew. Like every other girl on the boat, Amy is not surprised that the female charter guests find Eddie absolutely adorable.
Bright and early the next morning, the crew is getting ready for their day with Don chugging a bunch of raw eggs. Yum! Neither Kate nor Leon are excited with their living situation and the pre-sleep awkwardness that always ensues at bedtime. Kate may have bitchy resting face, but she thinks Leon suffers from annoying resting personality. She’s hoping that Eddie will trade rooms with her, and while Eddie would like her bigger cabin, he doesn’t want to seem overly eager. Lee offers his hearty captain’s laugh when Kate comes to him with her Leon issues. He doesn’t say much before allowing her to trade if she can find someone willing. Kate also reveals to Lee that she might be able to get Aerosmith on the boat…the band, not the person that the guests seem to think it is. Of course, “getting Aerosmith” just means that Kate and Amy take far too much pleasure in dressing Don up like Steven Tyler so he can make a fool of himself in front of their guess. It’s not Aerosmith, it’s Eros Smith!
In the fun the commercial clip, guest Steve chomps on a habanero pepper and chases it down with champagne. He is a true rockstar. Who needs Aerosmith? As the charter draws to a close, Lee, Eddie, and Don are working overtime to dock the enormous yacht. Lee realizes they’re about to pull off one of the pylons on the dock because a line is too tight. As he yells at Don over the walkie talkie, Don argues with him about what’s actually happening. Pylon catastrophe averted, Lee pulls the deckhands onto the bridge and gives them a stern lecture about how things need to be better on the next charter. Lee reminds the newbies that Eddie will be the one responsible for their mistakes as he’s in charge. Don is peeved that he isn’t being respected as a second engineer and is stuck washing decks, although he doesn’t verbalize that to the captain.
When it’s time for Steve and his posse to leave, he is sporting a giant crown and praises the trip as the best of his life. One, I’m sure Steve has done a lot of things with his copious billions, so that is a pretty high compliment. Two, given the amount he drank on the charter, it’s shocking that he remembers one minute of it. When it’s time to share the tip, Lee questions how well everyone is getting along. He’s met with nervous laughter and averted eye contact. Everyone is excited to receive over $1000 as tip, but Kate thinks it’s a tad low. As everyone is decompressing from their first charter, Kate approaches Leon about changing rooms. She cites the non-bunkbed situation is awkward, but Leon things she’s making a mistake by giving up the biggest cabin. The crew convenes for their first big dinner together, but Rocky is not thrilled about breaking bread with Kate.
On land, Emile is scouting any female co-worker that will have him. He starts off by focusing on Connie, and Rocky quickly interrupts to give him a back massage. Connie can’t believe what an attention whore Rocky is, but she moves aside so Roccky can hit on Emile like the Countess hits on dudes Emile’s age. Rocky teases Emile and dares him to come meet her in the Jacuzzi once the crew has gone to bed. As she sits alone in the hot tub in her bikini, Emile sneaks off to his cabin. Captain Lee’s lecture about not letting Rocky tempt him into trouble keep replaying in his mind. Plus he knows better than to sh*t where he sleeps. The following morning, Kate softens on Rocky and attempts to show her the ropes so that she might enjoy her job a little bit more. However, Rocky isn’t willing to take any kind of criticism. Why does Connie get the cool job of rappelling down the side of the yacht to clean the outside windows? A miserable Rocky cries in the bathroom about how horrible her job is. I think it’s going to be a rocky road for someone!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WILL ROCKY LAST THE WHOLE SEASON?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]