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Below Deck Recap

Below Deck - Josiah Carter Gold Speedo

On last night’s Below Deck Josiah Carter‘s childhood insecurities were triggered by demanding and flamboyant guests, and Rhylee Gerber and Tyler Rowland took their relationship next level!

After an entire season of Josiah flying under the radar, it was kinda nice to learn more about him.

Morning Afters on this show are always a shammy of shame. Except if you’re Rhylee and Tyler! I don’t know how anyone who spends like 2 hours a day cleaning and 8 hours a day screaming about how she’s being rejected from manual labor has any energy leftover to be sexing down Tyler, but Rhylee does. She has fought flounder with her barehands so clearly she is superhuman. After 3 solid days of hooking up, Rhylee and Tyler are basically levitating on the after-sex glow as they flirt through their chores.

Josiah Carter Below Deck

Tonight the person having the crisis on Below Deck is Josiah Carter. I mean it’s about time he did something besides simmer and sulk behind the scenes, snipe under his breath, and slither about under the protective glare of Kate Chastain! (I kid – I find Josiah hilarious).

After a crazy crew night out Tyler Rowland and Rhylee Gerber went through the five stages of lust, dating, fighting, breaking up, and rekindling. In contrast, Ashton Pienaar and Laura Betancourt have found themselves officially flung out

Laura Betancourt Below Deck

Lord – this is the craziest season of Below Deck ever! It is literally Wham, Bam, Thank you ma’am, next drama! Laura Betancourt and Kate Chastain went from screaming at each other to peaceably getting along as co-workers. In contrast, Laura and Ashton Pineaar transitioned from friends with benefits to, well, I don’t know what. In less than one episode!

Laura is “sore-ry, not sore-ry” that she told Kate to check herself over some towels not being hung up. This is the myopic world of luxury yachting where the placement of a pond frond can make the difference between a $17,000 tip and a $20,000 tip. Basically what I’m saying is that all the escalated drama over towels and toilet paper matters! The little things become the big things, you guys. And Kate’s refusal to see Laura as the top-notch CHIEF STEW wannabe she is, is a big thing, guys. 

Kate Chastain Below Deck

It’s been so long since we’ve had an episode of Below Deck. I seriously forgot who these people even are. Well, not really.  I think I’ve intentionally blocked Laura Betancourt from my mind, however.

When we left off, before the Christmas holiday, Laura was fighting with Kate Chastain over turndowns. Tonight we see the conclusion of that argument, and the fallout naturally! After Laura told Kate to check herself, Kate checkmated Laura by going directly to Captain Lee Rosbach to report her insubordination. 

Laura Betancourt

On last night’s Below Deck things got really really, REALLY deep. Like penetrating each other in the bunk beds deep and delving into people’s inner psychological matter deep. All the shenanigans make it hard to remember that just 3 days earlier Ashton Pienaar nearly died. He is still wearing the ankle brace to prove it!

With just 36 hours before the new charter arrives the crew heads out for a much-needed break from the close confines of My Stupida. Ashton is especially ready to let loose and be grateful for this amazing life he still gets to lead. Ashton and Ross Inia have evolved from crewmates to soulmates. They have a sweet moment where they discuss survival and friendship. The most detrimental thing they now have to face is Rhylee Gerber!

Captain Lee reacts to Ashton going overboard

On last night’s Below Deck the crew dealt with a shocking realization. Ashton Pienaar’s fall overboard wasn’t just a dramatic television moment, but that he could’ve lost his life!

Ashton went off the back of the swim platform after stepping into a tow line which wrapped around his ankle. It was exactly like a movie, but this was actual reality and Bravo editing magic had nothing to do with the events! As Captain Lee Rosbach explained while choking up, Ashton was “within 30 seconds” of losing his life, or at the very least his foot!

The most surprising revelation, however, was that Ashton owes his life (and the continuation of his defined tricep muscles) to the rapid reaction of a Below Deck cameraman named Brent. He literally threw down his camera, raced to the side of the boat, and untangled the lines to give Ashton more time, which set him free to swim to the tender to wait until they were in safer water to bring him in! Maybe Brent should be bosun. Something tells me Rhylee Gerber wouldn’t be talking to him with a nasty attitude! 

Man overboard!

On last night’s Below Deck, we met the replacements. Aka, the new third stew Laura Betancourt, and new deckhand Tyler Rowland. Laura and Kate Chastain are like oil and water from the very second of interaction. So that should go about as well as still having Caroline Bedol on board.

Finally, we saw the moment when Ashton Pienaar went overboard. But, in true Bravo fashion, after so much hype, it was tacked onto the very itty bitty end of the episode. We won’t really get to see it until next week. However, it looks like it’s partially Rhylee Gerber‘s fault! As you may know Rhylee does not follow the rules! Instead, she actually makes the rules, then changes the rules, and sometimes then breaks those rules too, but everyone will all bend to her will because her red hair is a magical whip of crazy what the f–k. Truly.

Chandler Brooks is fired on Below Deck

And like dominoes, they fall on Below Deck! Last night the crew lost not one, but two members! It may be for the best, but good lord was everything a hot mess of crazy! My head is spinning.

Following disaster, after disaster, and dropping a guest, then pissing off Kate Chastain over ice cream, it’s Chandler Brooks time to go. Despite being fired Chandler actually waved his pink slip high in the air as he pranced off the boat hoping never to see the red hair of Rhylee Gerber again. Chandler is a free bird – ready to fly right into Jamie Jason‘s arms. He swears he’ll never leave the high seas behind, so maybe we’ll see him on Below Deck Med!

About the only person sad to see Chandler go is Caroline Bedol, who like kinda like-liked him, but kinda just like-liked having someone to funnel her dysfunction onto. BUT now that Chandler is gone Caroline has inherited his entire freezer drawer full of ice cream pints! It turns out ice cream consumption is the nail in one’s coffin on My Seanna, though! You have been warned that frozen dairy kills careers if mixed with Kate.