Below Deck Recap: Please Pack Your Knives And Go

below deck rocky 2

“Somethin’ ’bout a boat, sittin’ on the sea; Out there in the wind, floatin’ on the free; Take you ’round the world, bring you back home; Gives a man hope, somethin’ ’bout a boat…Ain’t it crazy how somethin’ seems like nothin’ at all; Take a big old room, make it seem so small; Seein’ windows where there are walls, makes a whole lot of something out of nothin’ at all.” I admit it, these lyrics are in no way indicative of what we witnessed last night, but I love Jimmy Buffett, and he does use the word “crazy” which is applicable!

For the .07% of Bravo’s viewing population that wasn’t convinced that Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is five-star crazy, last night’s Below Deck episode was just for you! It begins with Eddie Lucas putting out the kitchen fire and blaming the issue on Kate Chastain not taking the dirty pans out of the oven. Captain Lee Rosbach oversees the debacle as chef Leon Walker sleeps through the entire event. Kate tries to calm the guests who were awakened in the middle of the night by a fire alarm. The following morning, Amy Johnson can’t believe that Leon isn’t the least bit phased that his galley was up in flames the night before, and Connie Arias is shocked that Emile Kotze didn’t hear the ruckus. Rocky is quick dish to Leon that it was all Kate’s fault as Amy delivers breakfast in bed to the primary charter guest to start off his birthday celebration.

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The guests will be shark diving, and Lee is thrilled that it will get them off the boat for a bit. He tasks Connie with her first solo anchor retrieval, and she nails it. Eddie feels like a proud dad, and Lee never doubted her ability. Lee questions Eddie about the fire before calling up his crew for a debriefing. The guests toast with champagne at breakfast. Hey girl. The only thing hotter than the galley is you. Once the guests are off the yacht, Lee calls Kate to the bridge where she gives a no-nonsense account of what happened. When it’s Rocky’s turn, she takes every opportunity to tell the Captain how little respect she has for Kate due to her treatment of Leon. Lee isn’t interested in her human resources account, and he surmises that the fire was caused by a dirty oven. Lee is the final interview for the incident report, and his attitude is rude, pompous and defensive. He wonders if the fire began because Kate was drinking…he’s seen her drink before. When asked pointed questions, Leon admits that he didn’t witness Kate boozing. Lee has observed Leon’s treatment of Kate, and he’s over Leon’s back talk. He suggests that this be Leon’s last charter, and he hopes that Leon will make his last meal his best. As if! Leon laughs smugly and peaces out, urging the Captain to enlist Rocky for kitchen duty.

below deck leon

When Rocky learns that Leon is leaving, she loses it. If he’s going, she’s going. Lee tells Kate that they have to figure out lunch and dinner, and Lee’s planning to treat the guests to lunch on shore while they scramble for dinner. Emile understands why Leon is angry, but he is disappointed that his friend would leave them all in the lurch. Rocky lectures Amy and Eddie about her lack of respect for Kate and now the Captain. She’s done. Eddie tries to explain Lee’s decision, and Rocky is livid that her laundry lover isn’t taking her side. She strips down to her butt eating underwear and dives off the boat. Anyone who can watch her talking head about swimming away and doesn’t think she’s a loon may want to consider therapy. Eddie is floored that he ever hooked up with that insanity as Rocky tries to board a nearby boat…in only her underwear. Unfortunately for everyone, she has to be returned to the Eros to get her stuff. Bummer. 

Kate isn’t up for Rocky’s sulking, and she does her best not to be bothered by her antics. Lee is trying to replace Leon so that Ryan Gosling doesn’t have to eat chicken wings for dinner (in hindsight, chicken wings would have been better!). Rocky cries to her mom about her integrity and complains she’s messed up in the head after Leon’s departure. Are we sure that happened after? Kate and Amy are doing their best to prep for the white party and final birthday dinner. When the guests return from shark diving and sunbathing on the beach, Lee sends them off just as quickly with promises of an all-expenses paid lunch on land. Upon their return, Amy plies them with shots while they finish decorating. After being reminded by her mother that she’s not a quitter, Rocky apologizes to the Captain, who isn’t big on apologies. She promises the ceiling she will work her hardest to crush a successful dinner. Now that Eddie has seen the light, Rocky is back to batting her eyelashes for Emile’s attention.

below deck rocky

As the dinner draws near, Kate is thankful for wasted charter guests. Rocky offers up her culinary skills to Kate and Amy. Eddie is serving as sous chef as Rocky plates raw veggies in some sort of hummus dusted with crushed Oreos. Everyone is a bit concerned with her decision to douse the raw oysters in grenadine (um, eww!), and their fears are confirmed when the birthday boy rushes to the loo to puke. Amy wonders if this is Rocky’s attempt at sabotage. The primary guest returns to the table, and a frustrated Eddie takes over in the galley. Rocky requests an extra plate, but Kate laments that the table is too small. Eddie suggests putting the steaks on top of the cookie crumble crudite, and Rocky bitches that if communication was better, Kate would have known she needed more plating room. Kate and Eddie are both hoping that the steaks will mask what Amy dubs “an Oreo bullet.” The guests love the steak and request Leon’s presence so they can praise him. Kate apologizes. Leon has fallen ill, and there is no way in hell she’s calling Rocky to the deck. The cake they’ve ordered from the mainland is a bit of a mess, but the guests don’t notice. They just chat about how cool the crew is–they are all people the guests would want as friends. The evening is capped off with a giant fireworks display before the guests exit their charter. The primary guest is overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks the crew for his best birthday yet. 

below oreo salad

Lee send the crew to bed, saying he will divide the tip in the morning. Kate attempts to compliment Rocky on her cuisine, but she’s met with nothing but sarcasm and pettiness. Rocky blabs on about Kate’s constant “jab, jab, jabs.” As Kate tries to calmly respond, Rocky won’t let her speak, yet she taunts Kate for walking away from their conversation without any resolution. That’s rich. In the morning, the always chipper Amy is having a hard time smiling at Rocky. Amy is confused as to how Rocky doesn’t even seem sorry for her actions. She complains to Eddie, who is dealing with his own demons. He hooked up with that crazy! Despite the chaos on the charter, the tip is extremely generous. Lee teases about a surprise chef who will be joining the crew. Emile is the only one left in Rocky’s corner, and he listens as she drones on and on about how she saved the charter with her fabulous meal and how she is excited to have a chef come aboard who isn’t privy to any of the crew members’ back story.

below deck kate ben

Joke’s on you, Rocky! IT”S BEN! When Ben Robinson steps on the Eros, he greeted by bear hugs from Eddie and Lee. Ben is as cocky as ever. Even though he and Kate had a lot of tension last season, he reveals that they’ve gotten past their animosity. They are bed buddies now! Kate is thrilled to see Ben, although she’s unsure of where their relationship stands. Connie is excited to meet the man she’s heard so much about from Kate. Ben is apparently very good in the sack. Upon introduction, Rocky is all giggles and eye batting. Amy teases Kate that she shouldn’t have traded rooms to rid herself of Leon. That evening, Kate and Ben share flirtatious banter as Eddie texts his ex (?) girlfriend. Yeah, you miss her now, don’t you, bosun? In the galley, Emile, Rocky and Eddie convene over pizza, and Eddie states that he’s happy Ben is back. Emile isn’t keen on cocky people, but Eddie reminds him that Leon was as cocky as they come. Rocky can’t believe that Eddie is being so mean. Eddie can’t believe he did laundry with Rocky. Ben asks for a breakdown of the crew, and Kate reveals that she and Amy have gotten to be besties. She also adores Connie, and stays mum about her issues with Rocky. I’ve missed Ben so much. 

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHOSE BEHAVIOR WAS MORE RIDICULOUS…ROCKY’S OR LEON’S? 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]