Is it just me, or are any of you impressed that no one was seriously injured during last night’s final installment of the Love & Hip Hop Hollywood reunion? After that crazy brawl that occurred when Moniece jumped Brandi for questioning her parental skills, Nina has the women sitting calmly back on the sofa…although Moniece is twitching and Brandi claims to just be so passionate about motherhood (hers, she’s not judging anyone else…yeah, right!) that she’s shaking from wig to feather. Moniece’s mother interrupts to say that while she doesn’t condone her daughter’s actions, she has to protect her child. When questioned about whether she wants to clear up any issues, Moniece is radio silent.
Jason Lee and Hazel-E’s beef is highlighted, and Hazel won’t let Jason get a word in, but Ray-J pontificates that everyone needs redemption on the reunion. Jason blabbers off an insincere apology for tossing a drink in Hazel’s face, but Hazel reminds Nina that he was profiting off the incident with a t-shirt slogan the day the episode aired. Brandi inserts herself yet again because she’s such a champion for Jesus, and Ray wants to know what would Jesus do. Really Ray?
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That dreadful fashion show is revisited, and Nikki straddles the fence between working with Princess and against Teairra Mari. She just wanted to showcase her line and have everyone bury the hatchet and work together for a common cause…lingerie and blazers. Hazel explains why she ran for the hills upon learning that Teairra would be crashing the show. Teairra apologizes to Hazel for her choice words, and the former friends share a moment.
Of course, because getting along is not the theme of this franchise, Nina brings out the Soulja Boy, Nia, Nas triangle. Is Soulja going to announce that he’s got a new cake make-up line? That stuff has to be THICK to cover all his face tats! Nia says that she and Soulja aren’t in an open relationship, but Soulja still wants to enjoy a road treat every now and again. Soulja explodes when Nas admits she was last with Souja a few months ago. He is just about money. A screaming Soulja brings out stacks of cash (he’s clearly on something, right??) which garners a standing ovation from Ray and Milan. When Nina is finally able to interrupt his cash flashing, a giant fight erupts between Nia and Nas. They are removed from the stage as Rich Dollaz reminds Soulja that he’s a rapper, not a fighter–he can’t let “the fans” see him act a fool…because making it rain hundos isn’t acting a fool? Nikki defends Nia by saying that Soulja has chosen her so any hangers on should hit the road, even if Soulja continues to enjoy his road treats. When will these women get some self-respect?
Who would have guessed that Milan and Miles are no longer together? I would have thought those crazy kids would make it! The pair joins the stage with Amber, and Nina rehashes their dramatic relationships. Miles reveals that he and Amber are still friends and he has a strong relationship with Amber’s daughter. Then, Milan pulls out a ring and shares that he was going to propose to Miles on the reunion, but now he’s going to drop the bomb that Miles is a cheater. He places the ring at Miles’ feet before storming off the stage. Miles kicks the ring into the crowd. He’s no cheater! After a stint of ugly crying, Milan rejoins the crew to say he’s proud of being a pioneer as a gay man in hip hop and he applauds Miles’ coming out story…except Miles is a cheating fool. Miles accuses Milan of being attention-seeking and jealous, but Milan reminds Miles that Miles doesn’t even have a song on iTunes or a Wikipedia page. Lame!
Willie and Shanda’s quick story line about financial struggles and stripper woes are revisited, and the video montage pretty much encompasses their entire air time from the season. The couple maintains that they were never going broke…Shanda just wanted to be comfortable, and she panicked. Willie admits that he was devastated to learn that his wife had started dancing again, but at the end of the day, they will both make mistakes and he loves her no matter what. Ray preaches about rough times, and he seems to be able to insert himself in every situation. Fizz claims he was embarrassed to see his friend’s wife strip, and he’s donned sunglasses so we can’t see how hard it is for him to keep his eyes open. Nina closes out the reunion with a highlight reel, declaring the West Coast is the best coast. Amber shares that she has a new boo, and Fizz thanks his cast mates for their hard work…Rich seconds that assessment and reminds everyone he’ll be on Love & Hip Hop next week when the NYC season premieres. Moniece keeps up her silent treatment as the reunion concludes.
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[Photo Credit: VH1]