Did you miss the Shahs of Sunset after a little Memorial Day Weekend break? We had a week to catch our breath and recover from the ambush wedding of Reza Farahan and Adam Neely and I’m not sure that was enough after watching last night’s drama. You know what they say, there’s no rest for the weary and that especially applies to reality TV fans.
We pick up right where we left off, in Palm Springs, with Reza and Adam driving off into the proverbial sunset, which was actually the darkness of night. The rest of the gang is left at the restaurant, looking glassy eyed and hungover already. Mike Shouhed is busy arguing on the phone with estranged wife, Jessica Parido. Mercedes “MJ” Javid, crooked weave and unmanageable in her drunkenness, uses that as an opportunity to snipe at Mike about his relationship. Boyfriend Tommy Feight and a surprisingly sober Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi play the voices of reason and shove her into an Escalade but they can’t shut off her slurring tirade.
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Tommy is very adamant that Mike’s relationship isn’t her business and very astutely points out that MJ likely feels the pressure of another failed relationship weighing on her new relationship with him. Damn, Tommy for the free therapy win! Color me impressed!
Once they all arrive back at the guest house, MJ tries to apologize and Mike angrily accepts but wants to be left alone. GG is thrilled that she is the peacemaker and not the cause of all the issues for once, but that doesn’t stop her from gossiping with MJ on the couch about it all. Red solo cup in hand, MJ says she is trying to be there for Mike but can’t help him if he won’t be honest. And by helping, I guess she means constantly nagging and antagonizing him about his already volatile relationship?
The next morning, Mike is lacing up a fresh pair of hideous sneakers and GG is snapping selfies with the dog, all while avoiding MJ’s cleaning spree. The house looks like they just had a frat party, which isn’t too far off. Mike is too tired to help because he overheard what sounded like someone getting murdered but it was actually MJ and Tommy having sex. I don’t know how anyone can eat after that but brunch must go on.
The gang awkwardly sits down to eat and Reza immediately asks MJ why she was so aggressive last night at dinner. MJ explains that Mike always buries his head into his phone and Mike wants her to lay off. MJ immediately starts yelling and Reza wrangles them all inside to speak privately. MJ seems to have much deeper issues with Mike’s relationship than she should and Tommy’s attempts to calm her down don’t really work. Reza makes a run at talking to her and it seems to sink in. Mike comes out and says he doesn’t want to hurt her and just needs her to be a friend. She seems frustrated that she can’t fix his mess of a marriage and apologizes as they hug it out for now.
Reza meets up with Asa Soltan Rahmati and comedian Luenell, wearing what I can only guess is a blazer fashioned from an old Ikea pillow. Seriously, I had that pillow many moons ago, so I know what I’m talking about. Apparently, Reza has always had a passion for comedy and fancies himself a comedian. You mean like how he fashions himself stylish? He asks Luenell advice on how to know you’re really a comedian and she tells him it’s important to understand that being funny isn’t just about those around you thinking you’re funny, it’s actually being funny to those who don’t know you. Does anyone think Reza is funny outside of Reza?
MJ and Tommy go out to dinner and there is trouble brewing in paradise. MJ seems to think that she is an adult and wants to be with an adult but Tommy doesn’t take certain things seriously that she thinks he should. Said the woman who moved him in and dragged him to the fertility clinic to get his sperm tested faster than she drew on those Joan Crawford eyebrows. Tommy points out that the big problem is that every time they argue, MJ says they are done and that’s a lot of crazy to deal with. MJ argues that there is too much at stake because she is forty…one (I demand a recount) and asks if Tommy will go to therapy. After calling her nuts (batshit, to be exact), Tommy agrees with a smile.
FINALLY, Shervin Roohparvar makes an appearance by meeting Mike (and another dumb hat of his) for dinner. His ego has also made an appearance because even after a disaster of a date he had a few episodes ago, Shervin brags to Mike that he’s playing it slow and says that part of having game means you don’t let people know you have game.
Shervin starts talking about how so many divorces nowadays involve Facebook and Mike admits that he took himself off of all social media because it’s like a cancer in a relationship. Mike is learning that it’s not compromise that made him realize he isn’t a stud who can do whatever he wants, it’s the fear of loss. With a statement that shallow, I’m wondering if all those hats are blocking valuable information from absorbing into Mike’s tiny brain because this is one dude who does NOT get it. Jessica wants Mike to start courting her again and Mike hopes that date by date, their marriage will come back together. Just like shoe by shoe, he will build an empire.
Later, Mike is home alone in his house, just trying to change the bedsheets, shower, and organize the multiple bottles of Fiji water on the nightstand. He calls Jessica to invite her on a date to Reza’s comedy show and she agrees.
Reza and Adam are preparing for Reza’s big debut and Adam is busy pumping Reza full of delusions on how he excels at everything he does. This is the real comedy show right here and we don’t have to pay a dime to see it. They show up early at the Improv and Reza stress eats his way through platter after platter. Asa shows up, adding more comedy to the night by dressing up as Michael Jackson in Thriller, topped off with Mike’s brown felt hat from his dinner with Shervin. Jessica arrives by calling Mike to come and get her outside, where she looks like she is contractually obligated to be there. Now that they are separated, Mike is noticing things about his wife that he has never noticed before, like the fact that she is hot. That’s deep, Mike.
Once inside, Reza makes a big show of Jessica arriving, like he actually likes her. The rest of the gang welcomes her with open arms but you can cut the awkwardness with the knife they used for all those buffalo chicken tenders. Mike thinks Jessica is giving him “mixed” signals because she refuses to kiss him and he wants to write a rap song about it. Do you think it’s a mixed signal to marry someone, take vows of fidelity, and then cheat on them? Maybe he could add that to his little rap song.
The show is about to begin and Reza is bloated from too many drinks and buffalo chicken platters. He jumps on stage and you can’t exactly hear a pin drop but you can hear cell phones going off. Reza is thrown off by the fact that there are a “bunch of weirdos” in the audience and not a gaggle of diehard standup comedy fans that came to see him. He apparently also thought it was Showtime at the Apollo the way he’s cursing and calling everyone bitches.
GG admits that her eyes and ears hurt to watch, Asa is texting, Shervin is eating, and Jessica is working her drink straw hard. Reza finishes his massive turd of a set with a horribly offensive and not even remotely funny joke about Asians. No one laughs but everyone claps to see him exit the stage. Reza seems to think that just because he didn’t die from embarrassment, tonight was a success and I think we can all agree that he’s giving himself too much credit. Comedy is not your bag, baby – stick to mustaches!
After the show, the gang gets to drinking off that stinker of comedy set and yes, I am skipping completely over the fact that GG was flashing her boob job to everyone. The gang piles into a car to go to the next club and we are treated to GG randomly and pointlessly using the phrase “Girl, Bye” again. Has anyone been keeping count this season? Just curious.
As the gang goes into the club, Jessica is just drunk enough to make out with her husband on the curb with her cell phone glued to her ear. She makes a comment about going to bone in the car and Mike literally RUNS to an Uber, not even bothering to conceal a skip here and there, that’s how excited he is. I guess all it takes to fix a crumbling marriage is one horrible night at the Improv and a whole lot of Tito’s vodka.
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Photo Credit: Bravo