OK, so tonight we got a look at E!’s new show, Famously Single, which throws eight famous(ish) celebs who are, wait for it…..single! They get guidance and counseling by Dr. Darcy Sterling, who talks about celebrity dating like it’s a plight that needs more attention and resources drawn to it. I kept waiting for a “Save the Celebrity Dating World” 800 number to flash on the bottom on the screen so I could donate one dollar a day to help save these regal creatures.
The celebrities arrive to their new loft to meet Dr. Darcy, who does intake with a clip board and I’m guessing a simple check mark when each person arrives. Brandi Glanville, former cast member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is first to arrive. She is a self-admitted relationship sabotager because she is a psycho doesn’t trust men. Jessica White, a supermodel, has an issue with commitment and can’t stay with a partner for longer than two years. Singer and former Making the Band cast member, Aubrey O’Day, doesn’t know how to pick a good man. Somaya Reece, known from her time on Love & Hip Hop, thinks it’s hard to date in general when you’re a celebrity because of time constraints. Jersey Shore alum, Pauly D, is looking for one girl to “share the stuff with” and she hasn’t come along yet. Josh Murray “won” The Bachelorette and is really picky. Retired NFL player, Willis McGahee, likes to cheat in relationships. Finally, UK television personality, model and one-time Lindsay Lohan flame, Calum Best, arrives and would like to shed his playboy image (that he is assuming we would even be aware of).
The first way for Dr. Darcy to get to know the cast is to have them sit at a banquet style table and speed date with one another. Brandi already knows Calum from her modeling days and because he banged all of her friends. Calum can’t remember yesterday so the conversation stalls. Jessica tells Josh that French girls only do group dates and Josh feigns interest while everyone wonders what that has to do with anything. Is she French? Aubrey gets rotated to Willis and he reveals that he has eight kids with seven different mothers. Given her track record with picking men, you would think she would be intrigued but it doesn’t sound like it.
Once finished, they all go back to their rooms and get ready for a big night out while Dr. Darcy starts with her one on one assessments of each celebrity. Pauly D is first and admits that he hasn’t been in a real relationship since high school and doesn’t think he’s ever been in love. Pauly wants to be clear, though– he doesn’t have a problem finding a girl, he just can’t find the right one who doesn’t want him for his fame. Dr. Darcy puffs him up by telling him how ripe, ready and special he is and Pauly is relieved because he feels like she “gets him”. Not sure what is so hard to get but whatever, I guess some mysteries are better left unsolved.
As the cast settles in with food and drinks, Brandi jumps right into busting balls and annoying the other women. Somaya thinks Brandi is basic and Aubrey admits that she met her last month and it was the most painful forty-five minutes of her life. It doesn’t take long for Willis to try and drunkenly hit on Jessica, who is not even close to interested.
Everyone heads out to a club, which is obviously the best place to go when you’re on a dating show about fixing your love life and ten drinks in with people you just met a few hours ago. Somaya busts out her best fur from the Video Vixen Collection and Pauly D has worn his best cammo. Willis is busy trying to get a woman into the bathroom to fool around with and Aubrey spies a man that makes interesting conversation with the group. They get to know each other by talking about how many times he’s been in love (three or four) but Aubrey quickly bails, reasoning that guys only approach her based on the fact that they know her, or because she’s hot. Josh encounters the same issue when chatting with a pretty blonde, who he thinks knows too much about him and he walks off as well.
A perfectly normal mechanical engineer in a pink shirt is talking to Brandi but Pauly D, fashion plate that he is, ruins the moment by obnoxiously making fun of his shoes. Brandi, who leaves no dick unturned, doesn’t appreciate all this and Somaya gets in on the action by telling the poor kid to get the eff away from their VIP table. But only after saying “no disrespect”, which in her mind, makes it perfectly acceptable. Brandi feels bad that her new cast mates went off on the guy and confronts Somaya outside, who defends her actions by describing herself as VERY REAL. Somaya starts to get loud and even takes off that awful coat, like she is going to do something. Brandi is no stranger to drama and looks like she is actually starting to enjoy this, asks if she should take her earrings off. Hands are flying and luckily, Josh is there to make sure the hair extensions don’t go flying too.
They all head aback to the loft and Brandi attempts to squash it with Somaya, who instructs her not to walk into her bedroom. Well, OK, Queen of Sheba! Brandi stays extra calm, cool and collected while Somaya yells and makes a big show of arguing. Brandi has saved her most calculated dig for last by saying she knows Somaya thinks she’s famous but she doesn’t even know who she is. I would imagine that’s the highest level of insult to a D list celebrity who thinks she has way more notoriety than she does.
The next day, the group meets with Dr. Darcy and Brandi, dressed up as a depression era newsboy, tells Dr. Darcy what happened with Somaya. Dr. Darcy (who is giving me some serious Katie Maloney from Vanderpump Rules vibes) is trying hard to turn the drunken night out at the club into a learning lesson and everyone whines about how hard it is to meet people who are interested in them for the right reasons. We go around in a circle and everyone shares what their last relationship issue is, with nothing really ground breaking or exciting to report. Dr. Darcy joins into feeding the delusion of the show and declares, “This is the hardest work in the world.” If this is the hardest work in the world, then sign me the hell up.
It’s surprise time! Dr. Darcy informs them that they were already part of a social experiment and last night, they met their new dating coaches, who are here now but we don’t get to see until next episode. What a cliffhanger, huh?
Author: Karen A.
TELL US – WERE SOMAYA AND PAULY D TOO MEAN TO THE PINK SHIRTED GUY? WHO WOULD WIN IN A BRAWL: SOMAYA OR BRANDI?
Photo Credit: E!