The first season of Southern Charm Savannah came to a conclusion last night, and I’m a more than a bit perplexed. There was a charity ball with zero attendance, but clearly the guest list was minimal at best if ten folks on a boat caused the colossal no-show. Additionally, there was a botched proposal, and if it was sincere, it was pretty sad. Other than that, we’ve made it through this not well thought out spin-off, and for that, we all deserve a mint julep (or a hurricane on River Street! OR BOTH!!).
Catherine Cooper heads to mentor Brandon’s house for champagne and cheese. It’s not going to take a lot of Brie for Brandon to chastise Catherine for not being committed to interior design. She admits to having a big fear of failure, and she has been coasting through life. Catherine is at a crossroads, and she doesn’t want to keep wasting her potential…whatever it is. Brandon jokes that maybe she just needs to settle into domestic bliss with Lyle McKenzie and their future brood, but that isn’t what Catherine has in mind. She tentatively believes she may be ready for the next step, but she looks like she may vomit as she says it.
Catherine better jump on the train quickly because across town, her father is busting out twenty-five year old Scotch and embracing his maybe future son-in-law after Lyle asks for Catherine’s hand in marriage. Catherine’s mother is in tears as the trio reminisces about prom, and Catherine’s father is excited to invite Lyle into the family. Will Catherine say yes? That’s TBD, but it’s a minor detail according to Lyle and his hopeful in-laws.
Speaking of relationships taking the next step, Louis Oswald and Hannah Pearson are trying to move forward after that somewhat disastrous St. Simons’ trip. Hannah is still hung up on her dad’s revelation that Louis needs to step up to the plate. Thankfully, she’s not privy to her dad’s conversation with Louis where he admitted he never loved Hannah’s mom. Louis tries to remind her that he’s not just an overgrown manchild with a burgeoning sock empire. He believes Hannah needs to recognize that he’s always going to take care of her. However, Hannah can’t treat him like her child, and she can’t deride him for not being a carbon copy of her father (trust him, Hannah….you don’t want that!).
Happy McCullough, Catherine, and Hannah are shopping for formal gowns for an upcoming masquerade ball hosting by the always dramatic Ashley Borders. Not only is Ashley planning a charity gala to benefit the victims of Hurricane Matthew, she’s made a huge decision to leave her husband Dennis. She’s looking at houses for her and son Izzy, and she feels torn given that she still adores Dennis…as a friend. Plus, she’s hosting the party of the century with the help of Nelson Lewis, so Ashley has a lot on her plate.
That night, Daniel Eichholz, Lyle, and Louis are meeting for drinks, and Daniel is in limbo. Both his friends are on track to marry their dream girls, and Daniel ended up in Savannah to help his then incarcerated father…not by choice. Daniel changes the subject, encouraging Louis to pop the question to Hannah so they can plan an epic bachelor party. It turns out he’s focused on the wrong bro. Lyle giggles while deflecting as to whether he’s looking for a vintage ring versus a brand new bauble.
Ashley is putting the finishing touches on her gala as the crew dresses to the nines. Lyle and Catherine are prepping, as a nervous Lyle drops hints about how small Catherine’s loft is for the two of them. Good thing it’s just her that lives there, right? Lyle excuses himself and calls Hannah to reveal his plans for a pre-party proposal. Hannah wants to cry and vomit with excitement. Lyle can relate. He hopes that she and Louis will join a small group of friends who will join them to celebrate. Louis’ feelings are a bit hurt that Lyle reached out Hannah and not him, but he’s willing to table those emotions for the greater good. Better Lyle than him! Hannah and Louis are over the moon for their friends, but they wonder how Catherine will react.
Lyle is touting their pre-masquerade boat cruise as a surprise party for Catherine’s birthday, and only a few close pals are in the know. As he drives Catherine to the boat, he’s sweating and she nauseated and requesting antacids. Lyle hopes to lure her to the awaiting yacht, but Catherine tries to escape to the restroom. As Lyle repeats he has something important to ask, Catherine loses it. She sounds like a broken record with her “Lyle, no. NO!” (Chance the Rapper needs to sample it) before running away from him as fast as her stilettos will allow. The boat is abuzz with guests who are trying to figure out if this cruise is for a birthday party or a proposal. Guess what? Neither!
Once in view of the boat, Lyle corners Catherine for a teary half-proposal to someone who is repeatedly telling him no before he can even ask the question. He asks her to marry him which is met with a very adamant no. He bursts into tears. He wants to effing marry her. She is appalled that he would make such a big move without discussing it with her first. They have yet to discuss finances or family or the future. For goodness sake, Catherine exclaims, Lyle has only been back in Savannah for two months!
As the two take some time to cool off, the boat goers wonder about the evening’s fate. Will they make it to the masquerade ball? Where is their boat host? Daniel and Louis both wonder if they shouldn’t high tail it to the gala…they are already embarrassingly late. Hannah pulls rank. They are going to wait to on the couple so they can celebrate a giant milestone in their lives. Daniel isn’t convinced, and Hannah can’t stop Louis from yelling “show me the ring” as a somber Lyle and Catherine arrive by dingy. Across town, Ashley is seething at the lack of attendance. How dare her crew show up late to her event? They better not show their faces at all at this point!
As Catherine and Lyle make their way onto the boat, they are both wearing their best numb faces and citing the boat cruise as a belated surprise birthday party for Catherine. Louis sees through their stonewall efforts. Catherine totally dissed Lyle’s proposal.
Meanwhile, Nelson and Ashley are gossiping about how rude their so-called friends are. They are always being mistreated by this elite group. Back on the boat, Catherine takes in stride the comments about how some acquaintances thought this cruise would more than just a birthday celebration. She jokes that maybe one day they’ll get their wish as Lyle tries not to lose it in the corner. Ashley calls Daniel to find out where they are, and he apologizes for being so late. They had a birthday party that ran a bit over schedule.
Happy and Azam left the boat early to head to the event, and Ashley meets them at the door. She tells them the party is over and to turn around. They are no longer welcome. Azam steps in, asserting that Ashley will not be disrespectful to his fiancee. Happy tries to explain their tardiness, but Ashley literally blows smoke in her face while ranting about her rudeness. If I were Happy, I’d take this opportunity to ask Ashley who hosts a gala that lasts from 7 to 9? Is this a Girl Scout party?
Ashley charges back into the event to start the clean-up as Hannah, Louis, and Daniel show up via Uber. She turns them away at the door as Hannah futilely tries to explain the situation. Nope, uh uh, done. Hannah understands Ashley’s frustrations, but she isn’t allowed to voice her opinion.
A week later, Ashley is determined to face Dennis about their lack of romance. She requests the pair separate. So, um, Bravo? A word? Was this disjointed finale your way of telling us we won’t have a season two? That was the most ridiculous mish mash of an ending I’ve ever seen on Bravo. If these folks are granted a reunion, I’ll be shocked!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S FINALE? THE SEASON AS A WHOLE? SHOULD THE SAVANNAH CREW BE GRANTED A SECOND CHANCE?
Photo Credit: Bravo