If you’re still watching with me, congrats! We
just barely made it through another episode of Vanderpump Rules Jax and Brittany Take Kentucky. Tonight, we watched Jax Taylor sweat like a literal whore in church and fail at hunting coyotes with the good ole boys thanks to a probation requirement about not handling a firearm. Unfortunately, we still don’t know if poor Brittany Cartwright and her missing spark will ever be reunited and no matter how much she protests that it’s not missing to begin with, Jax is sticking with his story.
In an effort to make something, anything even remotely entertaining happen with this show, Brittany is taking Jax to church. As much as she doesn’t want to pressure him with religion, if they get married and have kids, she needs them to attend a Christian church. How’s that for pressure! Jax is wary about the whole thing but agrees to attend. He did grow up Catholic and attend youth groups and church camps, which we can all see obviously had a profound effect on his life. HA! Brittany is wasting her time but let’s just humor her for now.
They arrive at church and contrary to what I assumed; Jax did not immediately burst into flames upon entering. With that out of the way, everyone sits down and it all seems like a nice, normal little church service. That is, until guest speaker Shana takes the mic. She preaches about the Devil and how he’s out to get your marriage, your finances and your happiness. With the perfectly timed organ music banding away ominously after each one of her points, she makes a strong case against the Devil but little does she know, one of his faithful servants is sitting right in front of her, fresh off a plane from L.A.! Do nose jobs count as the Devil’s work?
Once Shana is done, the congregation breaks into animated song and dance and now Jax is really starting to get uncomfortable but that’s nothing compared to his reaction when he sees a guy start speaking in tongues. Jax is alarmed and unequipped to handle these kinds of things so he asks everyone around him if someone can help that guy with his seizures.
They leave, with Jax thoroughly freaked out, so much so that he has to tell Mamaw the truth that he would never go back to that kind of church. Mamaw doesn’t look surprised but tells him she doesn’t care where or how he goes to church, as long as he knows he needs the Lord in his life. Sherri agrees, saying that she will pray for him. I know it’s never too late to turn someone around but I think it’s pretty safe to say in the case of saving Jax Taylor’s soul, it’s too late! Save your prayers, Sherri!
Brittany’s family isn’t done torturing Jax so her dad and brother take him out coyote hunting. He gets all suited up in camo, sprayed down in deer pee and they hand him a rifle. Just one tiny problem with that- they don’t know that Jax and his sticky fingers have landed him on probation and he can’t handle a firearm. Don wants to know who he killed to have that kind of condition attached to his probation and Jax gets to explain to him that the only thing he killed was his street cred because he stole a pair of sunglasses from a store while vacationing in Hawaii. Don couldn’t be any more amused at such a city boy reason to be on probation and is left speechless (but laughing).
The boys line up behind a barrel of hay, trying to be quiet to not scare off the coyotes but Jax keeps yammering about wanting a beer. No coyotes come around and they leave without accomplishing anything, aside from making Jax smell like wild animal urine.
While the boys are hunting, the women folk (Brittany, Sherri and Mamaw) head out to lunch to have some good old fashioned Kentucky beer cheese. In case you’re wondering what that is, its cheese that’s made with beer. You’re welcome. Sherri clues Brittany in about Jax going around and telling everyone that he thinks she’s depressed and lost her sparkle. Brittany stares hard into her beer cheese, utterly confused and annoyed. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about and obviously, neither does he.
Later, they head out to a local bar to meet Brittany’s friends and drink massive amounts of alcohol out of a fish bowl. Brittany’s friends ask Jax about church and he goes off about how weird it was, upsetting Brittany to the point where she has to chastise him for being immature and judgmental. They change the subject and happily move on to chant drinking rhymes while taking shots and all is well with the night. Then Brittany’s ex, Aaron walks into the bar and I’m sure that wasn’t orchestrated at all for the sake of the show (insert eye roll here).
They are still on relatively good terms and go to sit down and chat privately where we learn that Brittany met Aaron when she was 20 years old and working at Hooters. She was also living with him when she met Jax in Vegas and promptly came home to ditch him for a life with Jax. They make small talk about how she’s doing and Aaron asks if she’s happy (yes) and if she has a ring on her finger yet (no). Regardless of whether or not they are friendly, it seems a little odd they would need to sit down privately to talk about this and a jealous Jax agrees. He stumbles over to talk to them, flush with alcohol and babbling about making sure Brittany is ok. Jax just wants to make sure it’s all good and Aaron seems amused? Bored? Wondering why he agreed to this just to get 30 seconds of Bravo TV fame? Either way, he accepts Jax’s insistence on buying him a drink and they clink glasses before Aaron fades into the background.
Now it’s Jax and Brittany’s turn to have a private conversation and Jax leads with admitting he is jealous and wants to make sure she doesn’t still want to be with Aaron. She assures him that she doesn’t and uses that opportunity to ask him why he is going around and telling everyone she is depressed. Jax is caught off guard and I’m not sure why – he has been telling anyone and everyone in Kentucky who has ears. Did he not think it would get back to Brittany at some point? Now that it has, he didn’t really think through what he would say and just keeps insisting that she’s not happy. Brittany insists she is and they go back and forth, with Jax refusing to believe her. And that’s how we are left this episode, with our leading couple unable to come to an agreement on the state of Brittany’s spark. Will she ever get it back? Did she ever lose it to begin with? Why is this a whole story line? Stay tuned!
Photo Credit: Bravo TV