Looks like we made it! Shahs of Sunset season six is officially finished and tonight’s part two of the reunion did its best to leave no stone unturned when it came to the burning questions of the season like what’s up with Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi’s marriage? Is she a less angry, better hearing version of herself thanks to rehab and a hearing aid? Is Mike Shouhed still seeing ex-wife Jessica Parido? Does anyone still care at this point? Is Reza Farahan faithful to husband Adam Neely? Does anyone care about that either? And finally, why is Asa Soltan Rahmati on the show? I guess people care about this one. OK, so none of these were really burning questions but Bravo loves to drag out these reunions so whatevs, here’s the breakdown of it all.
We resume from last week’s cliffhanger about whether or not Reza believes his soon-to-be-ex-best-friend Asa’s claim that she didn’t do IVF to conceive her son. Reza, being the slime ball friend that he is, says he does believe her but he has doubts. So he doesn’t believe her? No, he believes her but he hates himself for having doubts. Ohhh I see, he wants so badly to believe his friend but he is also Reza and therefore cannot be trusted and wants to roll with everyone who is pushing Asa out this season, so he can’t stand by her. Are you all following this? I think this is the end of Asa. Because as much as she can be annoying with her magical diamond liquid gold baby organic priestess-ness, she is probably the only one on the show who does value her friendships and now that her friendship with Reza is fractured, what is the point of it all?
In the midst of Reza doubting Asa, frenemy of the ages Mercedes “MJ” Javid jumps in to say that she has love for Asa, but she was so genuinely shocked to find out about Asa’s pregnancy six months into it, that she had a hard time reacting properly to the whole matter. MJ tries to prove how deep her love went by talking about the baby blanket she was knitting Soltan, right after she called him a bastard 100 times. It gets a bit heated between Asa and MJ so Andy Cohen declares a lunch break and everyone runs back to their dressing room to shovel Panera salads in their mouths. In her
constant need for attention rush to get back to set and go up and down a set of stairs, GG calls for the paramedics off stage, claiming that she feels lightheaded and can’t breathe. Does Bravo always have paramedics on standby or is this just a special perk of the Shahs of Sunset? Amazingly, GG makes a full recovery and flirts with the paramedic, who runs off faster than you can say defibrillator.
Now would be a great time to segway into talking about how much GG has grown into a new, less angry (more paramedic-needing) person, right? GG might have gone to rehab but let’s get one thing straight – she has never practiced sobriety and even got high a few hours ago. So what she went to rehab for remains and mystery but damn, if it was Asa and she didn’t tell everyone, you know she would get roasted but I guess GG gets a pass of privacy on this one. What she is willing to put out there openly is her on again/off again relationship with husband/not husband, Shalom Yeyoushalmi, who SURPRISE, has arrived to tell his side of the story. What exactly is his side when GG doesn’t even seem to know if they are together or not? Well, it’s complicated. Let’s start with the fact that Shalom has been married before. Not just any married before, I mean married to another reality star before. This is something that was news to GG and didn’t really sit well with her, for obvious reasons. But not only did Shalom marry a Kardashian-run shop girl before GG, he also applied for a green card too, which is something everyone warned GG about (and she clearly didn’t listen to). All of this might have been fine and dandy for someone as crazy as GG but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when E! News contacted her about a story he was trying to sell them right after they got married. I don’t know if that was the incident that caused GG to try and knife his name tattoo off her or what but she said that’s when she decided to file for divorce. But, the truth is, nothing can keep two lunatics apart and once Shalom’s ex started causing drama on social media, GG quickly ditched her inspirational Instagram quotes and jumped into the fray, rekindling their loony tunes romance once again. So now they are dating and “getting to know each other” and GG has told him to hold off on signing the divorce papers, which I’m sure will be signed soon enough anyway.
Onto the next train wreck of a Shah, which is Mike and I just picked up on the fact that he is wearing lavender suede slip on shoes, no doubt from his own shoe line because who else would sell shoes that ugly? We talk about how Mike is a Mama’s Boy and how everyone is obsessed with his dool but things quickly get heavy when Jessica is brought up yet again. Mike admits that they love each other but know they are better off apart and some days, he doesn’t want to live because of how badly he messed up with her and some days, he feels like the luckiest man on earth. That’s an interesting combo but Mike is a sensitive man and sensitive men on reality shows that cheat on their wives tend to feel sorry for themselves a lot. He has learned something from getting divorced though and that’s to be open and be present.
Speaking of present, here comes Adam Neely, ready to tell us all about his one year marriage with Reza and their baby plans. Adam says he is by far the closest with Asa and sings her praises, while Reza sits quietly, unable to do the same. Everyone talks about how much calmer Reza is now and Mr. Sensitive Mike gets all teary-eyed, talking about how Reza tries to be a better person every day for Adam. MJ starts to hold back tears, seconding this notion and I am wondering if we are all watching the same show here? Clearly not, as I think Reza is legit one of the most diabolical people on all of reality TV.
All of the teasers for this reunion lead up to Reza being asked if he’s monogamous in his marriage and of course, Bravo wanted us to believe that he wasn’t but of course when asked, Reza immediately says he’s 100% faithful and he and Adam are going to have a biological kid through surrogacy and likely raise them Jewish since Adam is converting.
Finally, we come back to Asa and how much it bothers her that she won’t share her personal life. Sigh, this again. Asa brings up the really good point that not everyone is sharing every aspect of their life on the show and when it all started, she was the only one who was honest and upfront about her financial situation, leading her to be labeled the “poor one” while everyone else balled out. Oooh she’s got you guys there. Mike tries to defend himself but is drowned out by GG squawking about why Asa is on the show. When Asa tries to answer, GG interrupts her to tell her that they are all out here bleeding for the show and the viewers and Asa isn’t. Oh, that’s rich. So GG taking us through the day to day of her failing anger management courses and reading lines from an off Broadway play is bleeding for all of us viewers, huh? I could slap a band aid on a paper cut and see more blood. When Andy presses her about why she’s on the show, Asa says it’s a platform and she wants her voice to be heard. She thinks she brings her art, political message, family, business and convictions to the table and everyone else downplays that contribution. Mike angrily tells her that’s “surface stuff” because watching him try and peddle a baby shoe line is so deep and GG huffily tells Asa she’s on the show to represent Persian culture, not promote her business. Oh, so hair extensions represent Persian culture now? Mike says he loves Asa but she has changed this season.
Andy wants to know what we all want to know: with Jermaine refusing to be on the show and not wanting his son to be on it either, where does Asa go from here? She doesn’t have an answer for him but admits that she does miss the beautiful moments she once had with her friends. She’s just sad that she didn’t feel like her friends were happy for her during one of the happiest times in her life. MJ tries to say that today wasn’t how she wanted it to go and Asa tells her that the backstabbing is what broke their friendship, which is something MJ will never admit fault for. Mike gets all weepy again and says he’s sad that this is happening to his friends. Reza remains positive, saying that if he can repair his relationship with GG, he believes there is hope for MJ and Asa. Ha! About as much hope as GG’s marriage.
But you know, they are family and they have to stick together, no matter how horrible they are to each other, right?
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS SEASON OF SHAHS OF SUNSET? SHOULD ASA RETURN? WHO SHOULD STAY AND WHO SHOULD GO?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV