Last week I was off having fun (the kind that doesn’t include TV). I did watch last episode of Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant and we got our fifth and final baby: Izaiah (these girls really like to use a lot of vowels when naming their kids). Brianna and Danae had (another) fight and Danae is no longer welcome at her mom’s house. We got to talk about two engagements and one actually happened. And Kyler got a job. This week we are back to having the kind of fun that does include watching TV (and plenty of head shaking and eye rolling) so let’s dive back in!
Kayla Sessler: Kayla now has baby Izaiah and she says that Stephan is a big help – when he comes around. Her mom is leaving for a week and Kayla is nervous about handling things on her own. Apparently her mom did nothing for herself while raising kids so she is looking forward to this time away. She reminds Kayla she will have no ‘me time’ for the next 18 years. This sounds like a great way to wind up bitter and resentful.
Brianna: Brianna is moving out of her mom’s and in with Danae because she wants to be with him all the time. Can we assume there is an exception for when she is calling the police? They look at an apartment. It becomes clear that they don’t know or understand the concept of a credit report, which is not terribly shocking considering their age but it really helps make the case for a life skills class in high school to help prepare kids for the real world. Based on the landlord’s reaction, I’m not going to be shocked if they end up not getting this one.
Ashley: Ashley, her mom, and Bar got in a big fight which ended up with Bar getting arrested. Sounds like they’ll be moving out, just as soon as Ashley gets lessons from Shen on how to bail him out. – Hey Jenelle, any pointers? Help a franchise girlfriend out, would ya?
Lexi Tatman: Kyler hasn’t been coming around as much since starting his new job.
Jade Cline: Jade tells her friend she is engaged. Her parents have been crashing at their place for two weeks. Jade and her mom fight over the keys to the house and it’s pretty clear they shouldn’t live together anymore.
Ashley: Ashley is picking up Bar from jail. Bar had been hoping to stay with her parents for the first year with baby Holly, but he is still hopeful about getting married and figuring out their own way in the world.
Kayla: Kayla is tired and annoyed because Stephan slept downstairs and didn’t help with the baby the night before. Now, speaking from some recent experience, my husband can sleep through anything. In fact we call it ‘sleeping like daddy’ not ‘sleeping like a baby’ in our house. Sometimes you just have to hand that baby over because when it comes to a heavy sleeper it can be the only thing that works! Anyway, Kayla and Stephan fight about going out. It seems like it is mostly because of the exhaustion and is a pretty standard fight for new parents.
Lexi: Lexi is cheering at her first game since having the baby. It is obvious cheering is really important to her but all I can focus on is how quickly these girls snap back after having babies!
Brianna: Brianna and Danae didn’t get the apartment they looked at (yeah I know, we are all shocked by that one). They did get one in a bad part of town. Her mom asks if they have things like electricity and water and if they are committed to keeping them on (after the blank stares at the word ‘credit’ I’m going to say that wasn’t a ridiculous question). Jessica is also concerned about the part of town they are moving to. Her mom didn’t want Brianna moving out before turning 18 but says their relationship impacts her too much to have it in her house. Girl, it impacts us and we only watch it once a week.
Jade: Jade is still letting her parents stay with them. To his credit, Sean said he won’t kick her parents out and will put up with them as long as she will. He seems pretty supportive. I suspect those headphones we see him with all the time may be noise canceling (btw, is he getting a new job any time soon?).
Ashley: Bar tells Shen he is planning to propose because of Ashley’s romantic gesture of bailing him out of jail. Ahh true love. Shen is waning supportive because Ashley stood by Bar and reached out to her for help. Ashley and Bar go out as a family for funnel cakes and the baby cries while Bar proposes.
If there ever was a scene that encapsulates the Teen Mom franchise I think it would be a baby crying through a proposal over funnel cakes. Thanks MTV.
Kayla: Kayla and Stephan continue their fight. Truthfully, I get both sides. He made his plans days before so this doesn’t seem like a random night out. Yet she can’t know in advance that the baby will be up all night. Finally we get to the root of the issue, which is that Stephan is done with the relationship and only focused on the baby – Kayla still wants him there for her and for comfort. Also, she wants to know he isn’t off with someone else.
Brianna: Brianna and Danae moved in to their new apartment. Sirens blare in the distance while a ‘peaceful waters’ candle burns on the coffee table. Danae really loves the baby and brings up marriage and adoption again.
Jade: Jade goes to talk with her mom. It doesn’t go well – I don’t think we expected anything else. Jade says her aunt told her to just let her parents go to a shelter and her mom tells her that she thinks the baby could get better care. Ah family…
Lexi: Lexi’s mom brings up Kyler. Lexi says they’ll probably save up so they can move in together, her mom isn’t a big fan of the idea. Amber brings up birth control and asks Lexi to promise to use it. Can we get a promise too? Like for real? Also, I’m pretty solidly on mom’s side considering she says Lexi promised this once before and we know we have a baby Tobias now so…
Ashley: Ashley goes to pick up things from her mom’s house. Ashley packs. She and her mom end on a good note (for them).
In other news, my DVR caught the first few minutes of Jersey Shore and what happened to Snooki’s face? She must be taking housewife lessons because that is not the same one she started with.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK DANAE AND BRIANA WILL MAKE IT IN THE NEW APARTMENT? WILL ASHLEY AND BAR MAKE IT DOWN THE AISLE?
Photo Credit: MTV