Below Deck Recap: Kiss The Boy

As this week’s Below Deck opens, Eddie Lucas is still on the warpath. If not on the warpath, exactly, then in the middle of a strict dressing down of the deck crew. Things have been gone overboard — no, literally — again and again. And it’s time for the mistakes to stop. Because every time Eduardo has to step back into his role leading the deckhands, it’s time taken away from learning how to be a chief officer. So from now on, the deck team has to have everything secured and ready to go before he’ll give Captain Lee Rosbach the thumbs up to take off. Got it?

Meanwhile, it’s still day two of the charter. And there are guests to please and simmering crew drama to sit back and watch. So while the deckhands put together a morning of water sports, Heather Chase is busy planning the evening’s ’80s-themed birthday party for the 75-year-old primary. She’s also reporting the status of the interior team to Captain Lee, who specifically asks after Jessica Albert. Nothing’s changed — if anything, the third stew seems to be floundering more and more in the depths of Debbie Downer-ism. And Fraser Olender is just ready for some male attention, okay? Careful what you wish for, Fraser. You might be getting exactly what you want sooner than you think…

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For lunch, Chef Rachel Hargrove serves up a Mexican feast that once again blows the guests away. Several even say it’s the best lunch they’ve had in their lives. Of course, the beautiful surroundings and fact that you’re eating it on a yacht in the middle of St. Kitts certainly helps, but I don’t doubt that Rachel’s food is as good as everyone raves. However, the wind won’t stop howling. It hasn’t let up for basically the entire charter. And in the middle of the scrumptious meal, the wind gets so bad that the giant, inflatable trampoline takes flight, ripping the cord that has tethered it safely to the yacht.

For the primary’s birthday, Rachel turns out a dinner fit for a 1980s steakhouse. There’s bone-in ribeye, lobster, king crab, snow crab, and more. But first, a gust of wind sends the number five balloon in “75” out to sea, never to be seen again. Oh, and it also topples a glass, leaving shards all over the deck. But when Fraser asks Jessica to call for help on the radio, she’s much more concerned about the missing balloon than the shattered glass she nearly steps in. Just another frustration for the rest of the interior to complain about.

However, the actual dinner service fails to match up to all the over-the-top food Rachel‘s prepared. The problems start when Heather asks the deck team to help serve and gets saddled with Rayna Lindsey. Not only does the green deckhand have a short, snippy attitude with the chief stew, she also has no idea what she’s doing. Courses continually get brought to the table without anything to serve them with. What’s Heather supposed to do, use her bare hands? And when she asks Fraser to go find a pair of tongs, the only thing he comes back with are a pair used for…ice.

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To close out the night, the crew don their brightest neon ’80s costumes to sing happy birthday to the primary. And it’s all a hilarious mess. Eddie looks like some sort of Hulk Hogan wannabe. Fraser‘s channeling Freddie Mercury. Jake Foulger is showing as much skin as humanly possible without being naked. And Jessica finally puts a little pep in her step once she’s wearing a fuchsia wig. But the night ends with more issues between the crew. Rayna goes to bed complaining about Heather‘s control freak tendencies over dinner service. All the while, Fraser’s complaining to Heather about Jessica’s inability to do much of anything helpful. Needless to say, it’s a much less hilarious mess than the costumes.

The next morning is departure day. And the deck team is ready for a docking re-do after how disastrously the last one went. Thankfully, this time it’s pretty seamless. They don’t even lose any fender covers! Less seamless is what’s going on in the interior, with Jessica stripping beds that haven’t even been slept in. Which only creates more work for Fraser. As the guests depart, they gift the crew with the little box handcuffed to the mini-primary’s wrist. And we all know what’s in there: cold, hard cash, baby!

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Captain Lee gathers everyone in the crew mess for a tip meeting, where he compliments the deck team for how they handled the docking. It’s like they actually knew what they were doing! Jessica also gets a special shout-out from Cap. It’s probably meant to be motivational, considering Heather told him she was down in the dumps. But it only stokes the competitive fire within the interior. Because now Fraser‘s feeling like he’s doing all the work with none of the praise. But don’t worry, there’s still the money hiding in the miniature lockbox. Which Captain Lee opens to reveal a massive tip of $25,000. With the biggest tip of the season in their hands, it’s time for the crew to party.

The gang heads ashore for dinner, where a tipsy Jake rather randomly turns his flirting on Heather. Too bad the chief stew is in a relationship, because that mustache is looking pretty tempting right about now. And somehow – by coincidence? – Jessica and Wes O’Dell find themselves alone at the table for dessert, with the rest of the crew not-so-subtly pushing for the start of a boatmance. They’re also getting sloshed at the bar, where Jake decides to strip for a late-night skinny dip with Fraser in the restaurant’s pool. And boy, oh boy, is there some sexual tension starting to happen between these two…

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That sexual tension only escalates as the crew rides back to the boat. On a dare from Rayna, Jake‘s more than happy to make out with Fraser. He’s not bisexual, he explains (and also still engaged). He’s just “sexually comfortable.” And the second stew is his boy! Boys sometimes kiss their boys! In fact, to prove his point, he initiates another kiss with Fraser, sticking his tongue down his boat bestie’s throat. By the time they get back to the yacht, Eddie‘s also setting his hair on fire trying to light a cigar with a blowtorch. Everyone jumps in the hot tub. It’s a wild night, y’all.

The next morning, the entire crew is suffering from a massive (and massively self-induced) hangover. Well, except for Jake, who might still be drunk. So drunk, in fact, that he doesn’t even remember making out with Fraser on the car ride home. He barely remembers his impromptu skinny dip, to be honest. Fraser doesn’t remember any of this either, and is mortified when he realizes that A. not only did it happen, but B. Heather has video evidence. Watching the kiss sends him into a full spiral of gay panic. Sadly, falling for a straight guy is an all too common for us gay boys, but rarely do we ever make out with said straight guy. Fraser’s worried Jake will think he’s into him. What if it ruins his closest friendship on the boat?


[Photo Credit: Bravo]