When last we saw the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the ladies were battling it out with snowballs in an effort to release their aggression with each other. This week starts out with Meredith Marks and Lisa Barlow meeting to talk things out. Were the snowballs not enough?
Hoping to make a fresh start
Lisa says that she and Meredith haven’t really talked in two years. Meredith’s also hoping to start fresh with Lisa. She even brought Starbucks as a peace offering.
“We’ve had this long relationship,” Meredith says, “and I think we’ve both made mistakes … We both have regrets. I think we both are sorry for things we’ve done [and] said.”
“I don’t want to go backwards … especially with friendships,” Lisa admits. She says she grew up in New York and she’s not a very trusting person. She only trusts people who “signed an NDA,” her husband and her lawyers. “But with Meredith, I think I’ll make an exception. We have a lot of years behind us … I’m gonna put my blinders on, like a thoroughbred [racehorse] and just ignore everything else.”
“I’m very sorry about my hot-mic moment [in Zion],” Lisa finally says. “My words hurt you, and it made me feel horrible. I don’t want to hurt you or your family ever.”
Meredith reciprocates by saying, “I’m sorry I made reference to rumors being out there about you … I apologize.”
“A lot’s changed,” Lisa says, “and I don’t expect it ever to be the same,” but they agree to move forward. Great. Shake hands, kiss, do whatever you need to do to put this behind you. We’re all tired of the bullsh*t.
Bad weather at the hot springs
Heather Gay and Whitney Rose are meeting up at the hot springs. “It’s been a very long time since Heather and I have spent time alone together,” Whitney confesses. Does this mean the notorious Friendship Break is over?
While discussing Heather’s Fresh Powder/Fresh Start event, Whitney admits, “I was shocked to see Mary [Cosby]. When did you become friends with Mary?”
“The only people I invited were you, Lisa and Meredith,” Heather responds, “and you guys all invited friends.”
Heather tells Whit that she was eavesdropping and heard Angie Katsanevas ask Lisa about Jack’s upcoming mission. “It’s weird to me,” she says. “I’d be interested to know what his motivation was.”
Heather admits the only reason she went on her mission was because her friend was going and said, “I’ll go if you go.”
“The next thing you know, we were in the temple making death oaths,” Heather adds, “and we were wearing garments for the rest of our lives.” Death oaths? I’ve done a lot of research on the Mormon religion, but I’ve never heard of that.
Oh, wait. I have. A graphic comes on the screen that reads “Death Oath: a vow to keep the Church’s ceremonies secret under penalty of death.” Yikes. That’s archaic.
“Lisa Barlow loves to tell people she’s Mormon, but I don’t see any Mormon coming from Lisa Barlow,” Heather says. “All the Mormons I know wear their garments, go to the temple, pay their tithing and abstain from coffee, tea, alcohol and cigarettes. She owns a tequila company!” And let’s not forget the ever-present Diet Cokes.
“Jack is going to be teaching that brand of Mormonism,” she continues. “What I don’t think she’s prepared for is who he might be when he comes home.”
Seth and Meredith are “hanging by a thread”
Meredith and her hubby Seth have been through a lot in their 30 years together, but they’re in a good place at the moment. Saying they’re “happier than ever,” Meredith and Seth are starting a podcast giving relationship advice called “Hanging by a Thread.” They think they can help other people. Isn’t that cute?
Meredith has a friend, Trixie Mattel, who’s a drag performer, and one of the winners of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars. Trixie invited Meredith to the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs. What fun! I love Palm Springs. Girls’ trip!
“Who are you going to invite?” Seth wants to know.
So far, Heather, Mary, Lisa, Whitney and Monica Garcia. Did she forget about Angie?
“I feel like this could be a really good place for everyone to … reconnect,” she adds. “Hopefully, we have fun … and I don’t have to lock everyone in their room for bad behavior.”
Over at Angie’s house…
OMG, Angie has a pink and white standard poodle named Celia. It’s a beautiful dog, but nobody should paint their dog fuchsia. That’s animal abuse. Angie’s just hanging at home with her husband Shawn and their adorable daughter Elektra.
Angie met Shawn when she was an assistant in a hair salon and he was a hot stylist with muscles. They’ve been together 30 years, and today they own 10 salons and a cosmetology school.
Apparently, Angie and Heather have known each other since high school. They had a lot of fun together, but are no longer close. “I would love to get back to that place with Heather,” she says. “I’m kind of hoping we can all move forward.”
Monica’s house of estrogen
Monica says she’s half Columbian and half Portuguese, so she’s “feisty.” She was born in Boston and moved to SLC 10 years ago. Her mom Linda followed her to the Salt Lake Valley, and now she lives literally three minutes from her mom and her grandmother.
“It’s actually turned out to be the best blessing,” Monica admits. “My four girls are able to know their Portuguese great-grandmother … We’re all just one big, crazy, dysfunctional Portagee family.”
During her marriage, she never had to worry about money. But now that she’s single, she started her own company, Brea Baby, selling baby swaddles and blankets.
“At first it started as kind of a hobby,” she says, but now “it’s turned into a lifeline … I’m starting from scratch all over again.”
Monica tells her mom that she’s going on a girls’ trip to Palm Springs, so she’ll need her help with the kids. Palm Springs should be nice in the winter. It should be much warmer than Salt Lake.
Though she’s excited about going on her first girls’ trip, Monica’s nervous about going with a bunch of ladies she doesn’t really know. She also feels a little out of her league. She actually splurged on a Louis Vuitton bag, because “I just want to have something nice around them. I just don’t want to, like, show up with nothing … I hate that I feel like that.”
“It’s normal to feel like that,” says Bri, Monica’s 17-year-old daughter, “but you shouldn’t … You shouldn’t be basing your worth off of how much money you have.”
Linda adds, “You be you. Funny, smart and gorgeous.”
Whitney spills the beans about Palm Springs
Whitney’s family has formed a solid friendship with Angie’s family. Their kids are the same age and have become friends.
The couples are out for a nice dinner when Whit tells Angie, “I’m so excited for the girls’ trip. Are you going?” Oopsie. The look on Angie’s face says she didn’t get the e-vite.
“Wait a minute,” she says. “I haven’t heard anything about it.”
Whitney explains that Meredith’s hosting a trip to Palm Springs for everyone – except Angie, it seems. “Why wouldn’t you be invited?” she asks.
“That’s a good question,” Angie responds. “I have been nice to Meredith … I’ve gone out of my way to say hello. I supported her fashion show.” She and Shawn sent people from their salon to do all the hair, which cost them revenue in their shop. Not being invited is hurtful.
“What I don’t get is that Meredith is planning this trip,” says Whitney, “and the whole theme is let’s team build and bond … How do you do that [if] you’re excluding someone?” Whitney thinks it’s “really bad energy.” No, it’s petty is what it is.
“I can’t say things have been great with Meredith,” Angie adds. “Heather didn’t invite me to her event either. I had to get invited through Lisa … It feels like those two are trying to ice me out.”
Whitney steps up and says, “I’m inviting you officially. Will you come as my plus-one?”
“I do love Palm Springs, I’m not gonna lie,” Angie says. Who doesn’t love Palm Springs? I have stories from my own girls’ trip, but I won’t bore you. “I would love to go as your guest.”
“Hold onto your asses, bitches,” Angie jokes. “It’s gonna be a turbulent ride.”
Heather and Monica go shopping
Monica and Heather are shopping for stuff to wear on the Palm Springs trip. “I know these women, and I know the dress code,” Heather says.
As she flips through the racks, Heather asks, “How are you friends with Lisa?”
“I actually met Lisa through Angie K.,” Monica says innocently, as Heather’s eyes narrow and the temperature drops in the room.
“Oh,” Heather says meaningfully. “And how do you know Angie K.?”
“I met Angie K. a long time ago through Jen [Shah],” Monica admits, not noticing as Heather snaps her head around and narrows her eyes even further. “And we’ve just been friends ever since.”
“I went to high school with Angie, so I’ve known her forever,” Heather admits.
“Wait, what?” Monica says. “So even though you guys went to high school together, you guys aren’t really, like, close then?”
“No, we’re not close at all,” she responds. “I don’t want really anything to do with her. I hope she’s not coming to Palm Springs. Meredith said she wasn’t inviting her, so I’m hoping … I don’t like her.”
“I think she seems just catty and jealous,” Heather explains. “[She’s] not anyone I want to invest any time with … Not interested.” Wow. Have you looked in a mirror lately, Heather? I think you just described yourself.
Heather’s still not over the “Barbie scissor kick” comment Angie made last season about the cause of her mysterious black eye. Angie also insinuated that Heather and Jen had sex, which Heather says she knows is not true. That was pretty nasty.
Now the Bad Mormon author is having second thoughts about being friends. “Monica is Angie’s friend. It concerns me a little bit, but I’m just gonna give [her] the benefit of the doubt.”
Heather and Monica bond over their Mormon pasts
“Were you raised Mormon?” Heather asks Monica.
When the mom of four answers, “Kind of,” Heather responds, “So wait, are you Mormon? We should not have had that champagne.”
Monica shares that she was actually married in the temple, but later excommunicated “for f*cking my brother-in-law for 18 months.” Yikes! Even I gasped at that. More champagne, please.
Even though Monica was thrown out of the church, her BIL was not. “They never excommunicate the men,” Heather smirks.
When she confessed to her bishop, rather than being relieved of the guilt, Monica was shunned and unwelcomed by everyone everywhere. Monica feels it’s best to be honest and just “lay it all out there on the table,” because everything comes out anyway. If you own your history, no one can weaponize it against you. She feels like she and Heather have that in common.
The first thing Monica did the night she was thrown out of the church and told to remove her sacred garments was to go to Victoria’s Secret. She bought “like 30 thongs for the first time ever in my life.” Okay, Heather’s opinion of Monica just changed. I think they just became BFFs.
Whitney’s bringing a date to the girls’ trip
All the ladies gather at the SLC airport for their flight to Palm Springs. Monica admits she has a terrible fear of flying, so she’s packing “Xanies in her Louis,” patting her new LV bag. Heather says she’s sitting next to Monica so she can share the medicinals. It’s Southwest. They don’t assign seats, so you can sit wherever you want.
When someone asks where Whitney is, Meredith explains that she texted that she’s taking another flight. Why would she do that?
“This is supposed to be a reconnecting, trust-building trip,” Meredith whines. “So it’s definitely odd and kind of annoying that Whitney chose to go at a different time on her own.”
But as a black SUV pulls up to the totally pink Trixie Motel, we find out why. Whitney and Angie have flown ahead to the motel to “surprise” the other women. This is gonna be trouble.
This place looks like the 1950s threw up on it. Everything is Barbie pink. But it’s adorable. And here’s Trixie to welcome them.
Whitney actually knows Trixie. “We’ve hung out together,” she says. “We’ve collab-ed together. She was my friend first. So of course I’m gonna [arrive] first … I think it’s a funny, cheeky way of marking my territory.”
Lisa loses an expensive bauble
Meanwhile, Lisa’s already causing drama in the Palm Springs airport. Heather’s hiding out in the bathroom, “because Lisa’s gone completely unhinged. She came out with her pants half-down … screaming about having lost one of her rings. This is not a great start to a girls’ trip.”
Lisa can be heard haranguing the other women in the background, “Omg, John is going to kill me. Does anybody see a ring on the floor?”
Lisa says she stayed in the bathroom hunting for her ring for at least 45 minutes. “What a sh*tty way to start this trip. I can’t believe this just happened to me.” I feel for her. It’s a terrible feeling to lose something like that. And I’m sure it was very expensive, knowing Lisa. And actually she says, “It’s 60 G’s. It’s my big one.” That’s $60,000, for those who don’t speak Lisa. Yikes. As Monica says, “It’s already at the pawn shop.” I hope it was insured.
Not only is Lisa upset with herself, but she’s going to make everyone else miserable for the rest of the trip. After listening to her go on and on, Mary finally tells her, “At some point, you have to let it go.”
“This is why they say, ‘More money more problems,’ girl,” comments Monica. No kidding.
“I feel very sentimental about anything over $10,000,” Heather jokes.
“What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost?” a producer asks her.
“My dignity,” she quips.
“I had my hand in a toilet in a public restroom!” Monica complains. “This is why I don’t have $60,000 rings.” Me neither. Mostly because I don’t have $60,000 to spend on jewelry.
Whitney pokes the bear
Back at the Trixie Motel, Whitney explains that Angie is a surprise guest. “She wasn’t invited,” she tells Trixie, “but I wasn’t told I couldn’t bring a guest.”
“You know what?” Trixie says. “Drag is illegal in Tennessee, so I think we should do whatever we want, okay?” Amen, sister.
“Bringing Angie as a surprise,” Whitney admits, “I fully am aware that I’m, like, poking the bear. I’m lighting the match, throwing it in the fire. But if we’re gonna build trust, then we gotta burn down the house and start over.”
After Trixie gives them a tour of the available rooms, Whitney chooses the biggest one for herself and Angie to share. Queen Meredith will not be pleased.
As the ladies on the airport shuttle are wondering where Whitney is, she and Angie are enjoying the Barbie pool. “I didn’t even tell Lisa I was coming,” Angie says. “Imagine Meredith’s face when she sees me. The one person that you didn’t want here is here.”
Another thing Whitney is just now realizing is, “Will Heather be mad?” Yes, Whit, Heather will not be happy, since she basically hates Angie. Angie said some pretty vile things about Heather last season.
“It’s gonna be a fun surprise,” Whitney says. “Is that naive of me?” If I’m gonna check a box on that, Whit, I’m gonna check yes. You have to be well aware that you’re stirring the sh*t right now. And it’s about to hit the fan.
“Here we go,” says everyone, as the rest of the ladies finally figure out the gate code and enter the courtyard of the Trixie Motel.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK WHITNEY’S POKING THE BEAR OR STIRRING THE SH*T?