Previously on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the ladies went to Palm Springs and stayed at the fabulously pink Trixie Motel. They went shopping, they went to dinner at a fancy restaurant and they had a huge argument. So, par for the course then. Meredith Marks began speaking with an English accent, and Heather Gay drank too many espresso martinis before barfing in the Sprinter van. Oh, and did you hear that Lisa Barlow lost a $60,000 ring? And that was just the first day! Here’s everything that happened in Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 4, Episode 4…
Day Two (it gets worse)
As some of the ladies check in with their families at home, Whitney Rose checks in with Heather, in the room next to her. “Are you alive over there?” she texts. Heather answers that her plan is to “puke and rally.” Cool.
Meredith sends a text to meet at the pool and wear the special tee shirts she gave them. Since she wasn’t formally invited to this trip, Angie Katsanevas borrrows a pink Sharpie from the motel bartender and creates her own special tee shirt. That’s just kind of sad.
In the other rooms, all the ladies are rehashing the fight between Meredith and Angie the night before. Of course, they’re all taking sides. Whitney and Lisa criticize Meredith, while newcomer Monica Garcia chooses to be supportive. She’s just happy to be there and doesn’t want to fight with anyone. Monica’s too nice for this show. [Actually, after watching the rest of the show, I take that back. She fits right in. You’ll see … keep reading.]
When the ladies gather on the pool deck in their “All Trust, No Trix” shirts, Meredith tells them they’ll be doing trust exercises today. Of course, they are. Ugh. I feel like they’re on a corporate retreat. That doesn’t sound like fun to me. But here comes Angie in her “custom-made” tee. Hers says “All Trix, No Trust.” Nice.
“Look, Meredith wants to be petty,” she says in an interview, “I can be petty, too. It was either make this tee shirt or call a hit out on her family.” Whose idea was it to add this nasty woman to the show? She’s really unpleasant. Figures Whitney is her only friend.
Mary doesn’t do outdoors
When the ladies arrive at the park where the morning’s activity will take place, Mary Cosby begs off. “Meredith, I have to sit out on this one,” she announces. “I can’t be standing in the park, in the rain, ’cause I’m no longer a soccer mom. I’m a hard no.” She probably doesn’t want to get her weave wet. And Mary just doesn’t do outdoors. Remember she was a “hard no” on the snowball fight, too.
“I know exactly who to trust,” Mary goes on, “and I know exactly who not to trust out of this entire group.” Mary doesn’t need any stupid trust exercises to tell her that. She trusts in her “Higher Power,” not in the ladies in this group.
Out on the field, the group’s instructor explains their first trust activity. Meanwhile, back in the van Mary’s giving her drink order to a production assistant: a hot oat milk latte with a double shot. Mary makes me laugh. She’s the comic relief both this show and these women need.
Out in the field, the ladies are navigating an imaginary minefield with the help of a partner, developing trust. See how that works?
“This is not going to fix anything between me and Lisa and the way we communicate,” Monica says. “Nothing, not a damn thing.” I agree. This is just BS corporate “team building.” These ladies don’t intend to ever be a team.
Ironically, the team of Heather and Angie seemed to enjoy the exercise and have fun with each other. “Of course, the ‘crasher’ is the one who gets the most out of the exercise,” Meredith shrugs. “I’m glad she got her money’s worth on her free trip.”
Lisa needs a ‘mute’ button
When the ladies return to the van, Meredith tells Mary, “I wish you had just participated because today was about building trust and being there for each other. I just think it would have been a really positive moment.”
“Did I not stop you before you left and explain to you why I was not going?” Mary asks her.
“Yeah, but that was one thing … ” Lisa blurts out.
“Don’t interrupt,” Mary tells her. Mary’s very strict on conversational etiquette. “This is not between you and me. This is between [me and] Meredith. Don’t do that.”
Continuing with her conversation with Meredith, Mary asks, “Did I hurt you at all?”
“No, no,” Lisa interrupts again. Lisa, shut it! Mary will slap you.
“I’m not talking to you,” Mary snaps. “Do you have a mute button?”
“No, I don’t,” Lisa responds.
“Well, you need to get one,” Mary tells her.
“I’m on play, all the time,” Lisa quips.
Then Whitney jumps in to scold Mary for not participating in the exercise. “But the point is we wanted you on our team.”
“Okay, I get the point, Missy,” Mary tells her. “I completely get the point.” But she just didn’t feel comfortable with some of the women who were there (like Whitney and Lisa, maybe?).
“I wasn’t there,” Mary says. “Move on. Next.”
“Why would you come on a girls’ trip with people you don’t want to be with?” Whitney asks her. Because she likes being on TV, and she’s getting paid to be there. Why would she turn that down?
Whitney takes control
At lunch, Whitney makes an announcement, “I’m gonna take over. We’re gonna have some fun tonight. Trixie’s actually coming back, hanging out with all of us and has a special activity for us.”
Meanwhile, Meredith’s visibly annoyed. “Whitney and I just did a trust exercise that was all about communication,” she interviews. “Seriously, Whitney? Maybe I had something else planned today. Like, it’s not your trip.”
“We’re doing a drag-inspired makeup competition,” the Wild Rose owner says, “and Trixie will be the judge.”
“I’m taking over ’cause I’m f*cking bored,” Whitney admits in an interview. “I just honestly don’t think Meredith even realizes what we have at our fingertips right now. We have the opportunity to get in drag with Trixie.” That actually sounds a lot more fun than f*cking team-building exercises. Ugh. I hated those when I worked in the corporate world. It’s giving me PTSD.
Lisa has rich people problems
When Whitney tells everyone to go clean off their makeup and “cancel your glam,” Lisa’s all, “Wait … what?!” Lisa flew her makeup artist to Palm Springs specifically to do her makeup. She tells us she spends “on average $60,000 a year on glam.” Cancel your glam, Lisa. With the money you save, you could buy another $60G ring!
In addition, she hates themes and costumes. Lisa does not cosplay. She’s like Mary was with the team-building sh*t. If it upsets you that much, Lisa, just say no. Take a page out of Mary’s book and refuse to participate.
“Did Whitney not get the memo [that] I’m never dressing up again?” she asks. “This is f*cking torture … I get my makeup done daily. My makeup artist is on retainer. And it’s not just when I’m on girls’ trips … [or] hanging out. It’s for me to go to the grocery store.” Lisa does her own shopping? She doesn’t even cook. What does she buy? Diet Cokes and Kit Kats?
Next thing we know she’s talking to a producer. “Hey, Will, I am so over this. Like, I’m a good sport for the most part, but I am so over this.” So Will radios another producer to come consult on the matter, and Lisa texts Meredith.
“Hey, Meredith,” she texts. “Can you come to my room? I’m freaking out.”
“It has nothing to do with Trixie,” Lisa tells Lori, the other producer. “I’m not spending tonight in sh*tty f*cking glam when I paid [my makeup artist] $2500 to be here, plus her flight. I’m not doing it.”
Monica has Lisa nailed
Back in her own room, Monica can hear everything going on over in Lisa’s. “I can literally hear Lisa losing her sh*t,” she says. Monica compares Lisa to Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, who’s like, “[posh British accent] I want the world, Daddy. I want it now!”
“It’s exhausting,” she adds. “Privileged AF.”
Back in her room, Lisa’s in full-on meltdown mode. She’s actually crying about having to take off her makeup. When Whitney tells Trixie that Lisa’s sobbing in her room, Trixie says, “She’s crying?! Has she seen me without makeup?” LOL.
“Makeup’s supposed to be fun,” Trixie adds. “There’s no crying in makeup.”
Finally, Lisa agrees to participate, but Morgan (her makeup artist) will be on standby.
Life’s a drag
Let the Drag Queen Parade begin. Whitney is “Little Girl.” Monica is “Mariah Jersey,” with a giant blonde wig and a can of hairspray. Angie comes out as “Anita Invite.” I love the name, but she just looks like Angie with too much makeup on. Try harder, girl.
When she tells Whitney and Monica, “Well, well, well, look at the competition,” Whitney snaps back, “There is none, bitch.” That gets a laugh from Trixie.
Heather emerges as “Dolly’s Pride.” Again, she just looks like Heather with a costume on. Not enough drag makeup. Meredith is even worse. She looks like herself but with tall shoes. Her makeup is the same as always. Obviously, Meredith’s heart wasn’t in this activity. She didn’t even bother to give herself a name.
“What the f*ck, Meredith?” Whitney interviews. “As the host of this trip, I at least expected Meredith to try. This is not giving me drag. She’s being a drag.”
When Lisa also emerges from her room looking just like she always does, Whitney and Monica both say, “Disqualified.” Morgan did her makeup. “I had a little help. But for me, I’m winning because I get to look like me.” Her choice to make.
Last but not least, Mary strolls out to the pool deck, wearing a bright blue dress and black platform boots. Mary also looks normal. So Mary, Lisa and Meredith were just not into the whole drag thing. That’s okay. They’re adults. They can choose to opt-out if they’re not comfortable.
And the winner is…
“Some of you pulled ahead in the group, [but] there can only be one winner,” Trixie announces. “The winner will receive access to my crown that I earned on a certain television program. And you will get to have it forever until … you leave.” I Googled it. Trixie won RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 3.
And the winner is … Monica. It’s only right, since not only did she dress in character, but she brought the Jersey accent. And the Aqua Net.
“Everyone clap,” Trixie instructs. “Pretend to be happy for her!”
Monica says, “Just being in the presence of someone that exudes this confidence when I am going through a time in my life when I am losing a lot of my confidence, it’s exactly what I needed.”
When some of the other ladies go to get ready for the evening, Monica, Angie and Whitney start trashing them. They’re all disappointed that Meredith, Lisa and Mary didn’t fully participate in the activity.
“Lisa likes her … signature look,” says Angie. “She doesn’t get out of her comfort zone.”
“I thought Meredith would participate, too,” Whitney complains. “I mean, she did invite us here.” But she didn’t plan this activity, Whitney. You did.
Monica thinks Lisa is very insecure because “she only feels comfortable in her look. I think she’s like, ‘I’m not gonna do that, I don’t wanna look like that, no. Call John.'” Monica should be an actress. She has quite the skill with accents and mimicking people. She’s got Lisa down pat.
But what Monica doesn’t realize is that Lisa is standing in the doorway and probably heard all that she just said. This is going to be trouble.
Monica goes after Lisa
In the Sprinter van, Lisa brings up that she overheard Monica, Angie and Whitney talking about “the wet noodles” in the bar. “Who were you talking about?” she wanted to know.
“Okay, Lisa, I’m just gonna be honest with you,” Monica starts. Don’t do it, Monica. This is not a good idea at all. But she doesn’t listen to me. “The ring thing is hard for me, only because I’m going through my own sh*t.” Monica thinks Lisa should be grateful for her healthy children and her husband.
“There’s so much you have to be thankful for … It’s just so tone-deaf to hear you talk about money and … the things you have.” Then she calls Lisa a One Percenter. Ugh. I understand Monica’s feelings, but you just can’t go after someone for being rich. What’s the point?
When Lisa says she works hard and she’s not going to apologize for being who she is, Monica accuses her of being rude. I love Monica, but I think she’s wrong here. She’s coming off as jealous and resentful. Just let it go, Monica. We can’t all be rich.
“You don’t f*cking know me,” Lisa says, “so don’t judge me.” Lisa’s really annoying, but she doesn’t deserve to be attacked.
“I’m so sorry for what you’re going through,” Lisa says, which sets Monica off. “You don’t give a f*ck!” she yells. Is Monica drunk? She needs to dial it back a bit. But she doesn’t. She ends up calling Lisa a piece of sh*t. In Portuguese, which was actually lovely. Somebody needs to step in and put a stop to this.
Even sh*t-stirrer Whitney is shocked by “this side of Monica.” She thinks it’s nasty and wonders if this is “how you treat all of your friends?”
Mary wants to get off the crazy train
When they finally arrive at the restaurant, Mary elects to stay in the van. She’s had enough of the crazy. After everybody else gets out, she asks the driver, “Can you take me to McDonald’s?”
When they get to the bar, Monica and Lisa are still arguing. I just don’t get the point. Is Lisa supposed to not be rich because it bothers you Monica? What do you want her to do? Just let it go. It’s not a good look.
At the other end of the bar, Whitney confronts Meredith about not committing to the drag thing. “I honestly was hopeful that you would get into drag with us,” she says.
“We’re two different people, Whitney,” Meredith says. “I don’t have to mimic you.”
“If I were to plan the trip, we would really lean into the drag and all of that,” Whit says.
“You didn’t plan the trip,” Meredith shoots back. “The reality of the matter is I did the best I can within my ability on the makeup.” Then she changes the subject to say she’s had a “shooting headache” for two days, and Whitney rolls her eyes. She thinks it’s a diversion.
Whitney goes after Meredith
“So it’s someone’s sister-in-law’s grandson’s three-year-old, and it’s a headache,” says Whitney. “It’s this and that. When is it really about…”
But Meredith’s had enough. “Don’t you go there!” she growls. “Don’t you f*cking go there!”
“I’m going there,” Whitney says. What is wrong with these women? Are they so desperate to be relevant on a TV show that they just attack all their friends? Why can’t they just enjoy each other and have fun? I’ve been on my fair share of girls’ trips, and I never experienced anything like this.
“Get out of my face,” Meredith spits. “You are disgusting! Get out of my face!”
“You can’t do that, Meredith,” Whitney argues. “You can’t hold me emotionally hostage.” What the hell does that mean?
“You take a sick child who will suffer for the rest of his life to weaponize against me? Don’t you dare!” Meredith screams. I’ll bet Meredith wishes she’d gone for a Big Mac with Mary. Finally, she just walks away from Little Girl.
Meanwhile, Mary’s telling her driver all the things she wants when they get to Mickey D’s.
Angie gets in Meredith’s face
When Meredith finally frees herself from Whitney, here comes Angie. “Did you just call me a pitbull, Meredith?” I think she did. And earlier Monica called you Lisa’s chihuahua. I take offense to that remark. We have a chihuahua and he’s sweet and loving. Angie is a monster. I think Meredith’s gonna have to take out a restraining order against her.
As the argument at the bar goes further down the rabbit hole of meanness and stupidity, we go back to Mary in the Sprinter van, scarfing down her fish filet sandwich and fries. Yum. I haven’t eaten McDonalds in years and years, but we used to think it was a treat when I was a kid. They do have the best fries.
Can I just say Angie Katsanevas adds nothing but another sh*t stirrer to this show? She and Whitney are two peas in a pod. I’m not liking her at all. Am I wrong? She has a chip on her shoulder and thinks everyone is out to get her.
When they all return to the bus, they realize that Mary was there the whole time. “Mary! Where were you?”
“I went to McDonalds,” she says. Mary’s the only smart one.
Real Housewives of Salt Lake City continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ANGIE SO FAR? DO YOU THINK MONICA SHOULD HAVE GONE AFTER LISA THE WAY SHE DID? WHY DO THESE WOMEN ARGUE SO MUCH?