The Valley Episode 5 Recap: The ‘D’ Word

The Valley Episode 5 recap
Photo by: Casey Durkin/Bravo

Welcome back to The Valley Episode 5 recap, “The ‘D’ Word.” In last week’s episode, Kristen tried to plead her case, but the crew was over her antics. As the ladies run away to Malibu for a much-needed weekend retreat the men are left to their own devices. Daddy Daycare is open for business. Michelle and Brittany start to spill the beans about their failing relationships, and the ‘D’ word gets tossed around. 

Cracks in the foundation

The Valley Episode 5
Photo by: Casey Durkin/Bravo

In the opening scene of this week’s episode, we learn that Jax has an obsession with his leaf blower. I guess there could be worse things to be obsessed with. The humorous clip shows Jax maniacally laughing, telling producers, “I’m not just saying it’s once a day. It’s like multiple times, seven days a week. My neighbors f*cking hate that thing.” But all the blowing hot air is for good reason, as Jax is getting ready to have himself a boy’s pool party. Cameras pan around the couple’s pretty and well-organized home, with Jax noting, “I’m the one always cleaning up. Every single time.” Hmm, I wonder what Brittany has to say about this. 

It looks like Brittany missed the comment because she is getting ready for her overnight trip. However, she tells producers, “I love Jax, but I literally try to be happy and positive and Jax is a lot of the time moody and negative.” These two are not on the same page. And Brittany’s face says it all.

As Jax cleans the dishes, he can’t help but make pretty snide comments at his wife. Dude, where is the love? The couple used to balance one another out, but Brittany couldn’t hit the eject button fast enough. 

Malibu retreat

The Valley Episode 5 recap
Photo by: Casey Durkin/Bravo

We are finally getting to know Nia a bit more. Bless this woman, because she really wants to have a nice bonding experience with ladies, complete with a paint and sip. For those who don’t know, that’s when ladies get tipsy and paint pottery or on a canvas. But as Kristen enters the house, the mood changes. The group villain notes she might have morning sickness to which everyone rolls their eyes. However, in her confessional, Michelle shared her extremely icy opinion, saying, “Please don’t have a kid because we don’t need more of you around.” Ouch.

It’s hard to watch Kristen try her best to make peace while it is clear everyone is giving her the cold shoulder. In what can only be described as a soliloquy, Kristen notes she “can’t help but feel everyone’s feelings in a room,” and again, the eyes roll.

My heart broke when Nia opened up about her struggles, noting she “is not fine.” The beauty queen skirts around the idea of baby blues, sharing she “thought it would go away, but it’s not going away.” 

This is the most real scene because so many mamas feel this way, and it is okay. I’m glad Nia found the courage to open up because her feelings probably hit home for a lot of viewers. 

Brittany bitches

The Valley Episode 5
Photo by: Casey Durkin/Bravo

The Kentucky princess can’t help herself because, as we learn, Jax is really on her nerves. Brittany opens up about the men’s double standard, which hasn’t gone unnoticed by us viewers.

For example, B shares that she was sick, but Jax kept making everything worse. The scene flashes back to Jax scolding Brittany for having a drink, saying, “You want to have more kids? Act like a mom.” Yikes. Even I’m uncomfortable with this interaction. Evidently, hangover days are only reserved for the men of the group. 

Janet notes that she is a little concerned by how “lit” Brittany has been getting. But quickly jokes, “But then again, she is married to Jax Taylor.” I feel like we are seeing the “silent killer” that Jax pointed out in the last episode. Janet does seem to like to stir the pot. At the same time, I feel for Brittany who has stood by Jax’s side only to be talked down to about her looks. 

Michelle vs. Jesse

The Valley Episode 5 recap
Photo by: Casey Durkin/Bravo

These two are not okay. I repeat. Jesse and Michelle are not okay! Jesse says the therapy situation is a “disaster,” while Michelle admits she is “more unhappy than happy.” The mother of one confides in Brittany that she has been feeling this way since her daughter Isabella was born. According to Michelle, her husband was very hands-on, but once everything reopened after COVID, “Jesse just left.” Michelle shares clear resentment: “It is hard to swallow that I felt so alone for so long. We drifted apart.” 

But for Jesse, it is “all superficial issues.” Viewers learned that a year ago, Michelle had applied for an apartment and told Jesse she was out. In his confessional, the Boston native shared that he was “blindsided. And didn’t see it coming at all.”

Something fishy is going on because the boys touched on rumors that Michelle was out on the town with actors and directors. One name in particular kept being bleeped out. 

The bomb

The Valley Episode 5
Casey Durkin/Bravo

But the biggest revelation of the entire episode is that Luke — yes, Luke — knows a secret about Michelle and Jesse. It’s small-town Colorado, Luke, who has tea on the couple, and I am here for it. Luke looks uncomfortable as Jesse states that he wouldn’t try to save his marriage if Michelle cheated. He even tells producers, “He can’t say what he wants to.”

So, has Michelle cheated? We have to tune in next week to see if the secret is spilled. However, the preview hints that Michelle may have been texting other men, at the very least. 

The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.