Welcome to the recap for The Valley Season 2 Episode 9. Last episode, Jason and Janet went in hard on Jasmine. The group was left speechless as another friendship seemed to be falling apart. This week, Kristen and Luke host a housewarming party, which takes a turn. Brittany is readying herself for a messy divorce from Jax. And Dark Side Danny is accused of overindulging again. So here’s exactly what happened in The Valley Season 2, Episode 9: “When One Door Forecloses.”
It’s always one degree of Scheana Shay
The group is reset and ready for a new week. This includes watching Zack and Jasmine skate into producers and Brittany sharing a little-known fact about Jax trying to sell her Jenny Craig bags on eBay. The episode jumps right into Kristen’s housewarming party. And for once, Jesse has chosen not to wear linen to an event. The fashion gods are smiling. Naturally, Scheana is a guest, and fans learn that we really have the Good as Gold singer to thank for this friendship group. Evidently, Sheesh is like the Kevin Bacon of The Valley. I’m sliving for this (yes, I said sliving).
Rule number one of boys chat – never talk about the boys chat. Yet here we are again listening to the most asinine conversation revolving around scrotox. Not Botox, scrotox. Danny is the proud owner of some not-so-low-hanging fruit. Zack led the charge, claiming he “wanted to know what it felt like to have old balls.” Classic, Zack.
There isn’t enough wine in The Valley to deal with the Capernas
As the party starts to heat up, an icy arrival causes some of the party guests to wander towards the pantry where they hope for a tequila shot. Nia is uneasy with the arrival of Janet, noting she is stirring up everything. And even though Danny and Jason have made up, the voice-over actor is not okay with Janet’s accusations.
But the arrival of the Capernas is quickly overshadowed by Brittany’s update about Jax. As fans will recall, the last episode ended with Jax allegedly being rushed to the hospital for high blood pressure. However, it turns out it was all a hoax. Jax went as far as to make the receptionist at the rehab place cry when he tried asking her to lie for him and tell callers he was at the ER. It’s dawning on everyone how bad a dude Jax is. He actively manipulated the front desk to lie about a medical emergency. Where are my pearls!?
Sit down and square up
Jasmine makes the move to have a sit-down with Janet, Jason, and her fiancé, Melissa. Poor El Compadre doesn’t know what is coming its way. As Janet prays to the gods for peace, their demeanor speaks another language. I’m not sure how we are on “one ring that clearly can’t rule one” conversation, but here we are. As Jason talks about “my precious,” aka the ring, and being accused of not wearing it, I can’t help but feel like they are making a mountain out of a molehill. But Jasmine digs in, noting she never spoke with Kristen and never repeated what she had heard from Jason’s former friends. I’m still living for Jasmine’s outburst calling Janet a “Karen.” But Jasmine apologized for the better of the group.
Welcome back, Dark Side Danny
Big news: Brittany filed for divorce. And to celebrate, the gang transformed Jax’s Studio City into “Britt’s.” Zack spearheaded the change of sign, t-shirts, everything. It brought a tear to my eye. Britt is now the number one girl in the group. Quick side note, Michelle is not feeling the love. In fact, she is feeling discarded, noting she is also going through a messy divorce. In another corner, Danny is seen taking a drink.
Jesse shares that it’s obvious he hides his drinking from Nia, adding, “There is a percent success rate that the dark side is coming out.” The episode ends on a low note as Janet once again thinks it’s okay to accuse Danny of having a drinking problem. The actor became annoyed as he listened to Janet backstep on when and how she had talked about people behind their backs. So much so that Danny had to throw his two cents into the ring. It is apparent that Danny has insider information when it comes to Janet’s constant scheming.
Britt’s is a disaster
After half a shot plus a few more cockies Danny is pissed and about to call sh*t out. Even Nia can’t seem to pull him out. What hurts the most is how Janet seems to revel in his drunk escapades, noting, “This is the dark side of Danny at his finest.” Next thing you know, Jason jumps in, adding, “Danny Darko. It’s cause you’re being weird right now. Relax.” I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me to relax, I usually do the opposite. Danny takes a walk but not before Janet adds, “My husband isn’t the one out here grabbing asses.” Classic Janet, pointing fingers at everyone else.
The Valley is available to stream on Peacock and Hayu in the UK and Ireland.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EPISODE 9 OF THE VALLEY? CAN JASMINE REPAIR HER FRIENDSHIP? IS JANET GOING TOO FAR?
