Previously on Real Housewives of Rhode Island, Alicia couldn’t get past Liz snapping at her. She also couldn’t bring herself to tell Rulla about the video. Meanwhile, Rosie extended an olive branch and invited Kelsey over to cut her hair again, putting the house plans on display. But Kelsey beat her to the joke, driving up with a siren calling herself the “house police.” They got into RHORI’s worst fight yet, and Rosie called Kelsey a “slam pig.” While I left this fight Team No One, it seems social media declared Rosie the winner. Will the fans still be Team Rosie after Round Two?
What happened on Real Housewives of Rhode Island Episode 9?
On Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1 Episode 9, “Questionable Behavior,” Rosie and Kelsey fight again at Jared’s trivia night. Alicia tries to get Billy to take her seriously and give her stake in Pizza Mamma. Rulla skips both cast events- seriously, how did she get second chair at the reunion? On the way to Rich’s gig, Alicia and Liz come to blows over the “homeless” comments. When Jo-Ellen gets in the middle, Liz redirects her wrath.
Rosie and Kelsey recover from their fight
A shaken Kelsey drives away from Rosie’s house and immediately calls Liz. She’s furious at Rosie’s claims she “f*cks married men” and didn’t legitimately win Miss Rhode Island. She claims she’s only slept with six men, none of whom were married. Kelsey alleges that Rosie did have an affair with that basketball coach, and can only afford her house because he paid her off.
Rosie calls Ashley while she and Jared are shopping for Audrey’s trivia night. When Ashley asks if Kelsey meant it as a joke, Rosie lies and says no. She won’t go to trivia if Kelsey is there. Jared points out this unfairly puts Ashley in a tough position.
Later on, we learn Rosie also called … Jo-Ellen! Remember when they seemed like RHORI’s biggest rivals? When Liz learns about this, she makes a long-winded banana peel metaphor, which a producer translates to mean Jo-Ellen plays both sides.
Rulla gives Alicia relationship advice, ironically
Alicia continues to hang out with Rulla but not tell her about the video. On the beach, she also shows off the results of Jane’s Fonda.
Rulla gets emotional about Brian’s betrayal, admitting she didn’t see it coming because he used to worship her. Alicia has empathy because it reminds her of her mom going back to her father a few times. But unlike her mom, Rulla is financially independent. Alicia isn’t. Rulla advises Alicia to advocate for herself and ask for a stake in Pizza Mamma. Alicia shares that Celina is at a girl empowerment camp … which she needs herself.
They run into Amanda, Jo-Ellen’s neighbor … who doesn’t speak to her after a falling out. Rulla uses this to argue Jo-Ellen is the problem. I’m not shocked Jo-Ellen has a feud with her neighbor. But Rulla, Brian admitted to secretly getting you drunk when you first met. That’s horrifying! He’s the problem!
“Jo-Ellen thinks she’s being a detective, but she’s really just a douche,” says Rulla, which is a good line.
It’s a RHORI triple date night
Kelsey and Bill go on their first triple date with Gary, Jo-Ellen, Gerry, and Liz. When Jo-Ellen shares Rosie’s side of the story, Kelsey reveals Rosie called her career “d*ck sucking” (it’s not a career, she only sucks Bill’s and does it for free). After doing a Rosie impression (not great, Liz’s was better), she tells everyone Rosie called her a “slam pig.”
We learn the definition of slam pig is “a promiscuous woman, usually overweight and ugly, who is only used for pumping and dumping.” Later, Alicia claims her mom made it up (probably not, argues Liz, if it’s on Urban Dictionary). Liz doesn’t care for these slut-shaming terms, and I agree!
Then Kelsey asks the group if it’s weird her ex is still paying for stuff. They don’t think so, but Bill (and her mom) don’t like it. When asked if she has to do anything in return, Kelsey jokes that she has to blow him once a week. Another joke that doesn’t land. I have a feeling standup comedy wasn’t her talent in the pageant.
Kelsey jokes about not wanting to be “homeless” like Alicia. Because Gary also grew up with Alicia, Liz asks him to confirm she was never homeless.
What is the name of that big blue bug?
Ashley hopes for no drama at Audrey’s Trivia Night … good luck! The place is packed, so either it’s more successful than Ashley thinks, Rhode Islanders really love trivia, or the locals knew RHORI would film that night. Alicia loves it, even if she calls it “Aubrey’s.”
Kelsey waltzes wearing a Miss Slam Pig sash and tiara, announcing, “She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s Miss Slam Pig United States.” I winced, and agree with Ashley that Kelsey can’t pull the joke off. But another trivia guest found it hysterical.
Alicia defends Rosie, Jo-Ellen plays both sides, and Liz is Team Kelsey. When Liz questions Jo-Ellen and Rosie talking, Jo says, “I share memes” (get ready to see that quote everywhere). As Jared asks what the name of Rhode Island’s big blue bug is, they start to argue. Ashley tries to cut down the tension by asking if they know the name of the big blue bug.
Rosie and Kelsey immediately start yelling and mocking each other. At one point, the others hide under the table. Rosie calls her a loser and Kelsey says she’s a proud slam pig, “oink oink motherf*cker.” Onlookers start filming with their phones.
Ashley finally clocks in as a Housewife and yells, “Whooooo’s tired of f*cking fighting and yelling allllll the time! Hooooly sh*t!” She also cries, of course.
Rosie feels ganged up on again and is tired of the group coddling Kelsey. She storms off saying, “the clique needs to stop cliquing.” An embarrassed Ashley starts crying again, but at least she gets a trivia question right.
Will Billy give Alicia the stake in Pizza Mamma she deserves?
Alicia takes Rulla’s advice and gives Billy a presentation of a business plan for Pizza Mamma, laid out on a Science Fair board and a powerpoint (but she needs him to plug in the HDMI). It’s like a scene from Clueless, not just because she wears a sweater vest and blouse reminiscent of one of Cher Horowitz’s iconic costumes.
Alicia reveals that she came with the name Pizza Mamma, and her decor is what sets it apart. For new ideas, she has plans for new uniforms, year-round heart-shaped pizzas, adding personalized “Mamma’s notes,” and making pizza boxes look like gift boxes at Christmas.
Billy likes her ideas, but he also laughs, especially when he says that no, he doesn’t trust her with “business stuff.” Later, he gets defensive when she says he doesn’t trust her. He assures her that he will have an estate plan and money manager for her and Celina if he passes away. But Alicia is still afraid he’ll leave her like her dad did. For now, she gets a win, as Alicia writes up a contract (with a bedazzled pen) that states she’ll get 10% of his share if they open another Pizza Mamma (but only if she works, she insists).
Alicia sees Liz’s true colors shining through on Real Housewives of Rhode Island
Rosie invites all the girls (minus Kelsey) to Rich’s Frank Sinatra show in Boston, a daunting 45-minute drive away. Fun fact: when Rosie was first crushing on Rich, she played a groupie in his low budget music video. Rich says he doesn’t want drama … again, good luck!
Jo-Ellen carpools with Liz and Alicia, and there’s plenty of slapstick comedy as they take the charcuterie board to go.
Alicia mentions talking with her mother about her rough childhood, and Liz once again insists she was never homeless. Alicia admits she might’ve used the wrong word, but she was trying to share how it felt. And instead of listening, Liz “dissected” what she said and showed her “true colors.” Liz insists she didn’t dissect anything and her “true colors are beautiful.” Anyone else keep thinking about Demi and Bret singing “True Colors” on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives? Just me?
It seems that Liz thought she was protecting Alicia, and was worried her comments would get backlash. I wonder how she feels now that Alicia is the RHORI fan favorite. But she keeps yelling about it, and brings Alicia to tears. There’s a lot of “I’m sorry, but” with Liz. While she wasn’t wrong to call out Alicia’s misuse of the word (and that Alicia’s family wouldn’t like she said that) it’s hard not to feel bad as Alicia starts crying because she feels like Liz is invalidating her childhood pain. Liz needs to let the mouse go.
Jo-Ellen tries to play mediator, but Liz calls her “phony” after she laughed at the idea of Alicia being homeless at dinner. Anger brews between the besties as Alicia keeps crying. Jo-Ellen tries to get Alicia to have a cracker to feel better, and we leave on “To be continued…”
Real Housewives of Rhode Island airs Sundays at 9/8c on Bravo. Episodes can be streamed on Peacock.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REAL HOUSEWIVES OF RHODE ISLAND EPISODE 9? ARE YOU ON TEAM LIZ, TEAM ALICIA, OR TEAM JO-ELLEN?
