I’ve been very against any Vanderpump Rules stars crossing over to the newest spinoff. In fact, I think I’ve drawn quite a line in the sand. But my opinion is starting to change a little. Let’s stop pretending and say it out loud: Tom Schwartz belongs on The Valley. Not in a maybe someday kind of way, but right now. The series is dealing with multiple chaos agents and a familiar face who can bring levity, loyalty, and the sort of clueless charm only Schwartz can deliver. He’s already circling the group and filming cameos. And he’s more emotionally invested in Jax Taylor’s life than anyone else on the cast. The man is practically a series regular without the title. It’s time to make it official.
Tom Schwartz on The Valley cast makes sense
It all clicked for me during the latest episode; I missed Tom (I’m upset by this revelation myself). Schwartz is already halfway in, and he’s popped up in multiple scenes, shown up to events, and clearly has more history with these people than some of the actual cast members. The chemistry is there, the relationships are pre-built, and the Bravo audience already knows (and occasionally cringes at) his every move. Out of the entire guy group at SUR, Tom has always been the inoffensive middleman. Basically, he’s a human floater. The guy who can show up to brunch and somehow leave everyone feeling like he was on their side even when he wasn’t.
Even though the end of Vanderpump Rules wasn’t the best for him as he navigated his divorce from Katie Maloney, he still seemed like a good guy. A doofus. But a good guy. And in a cast like The Valley, where the women do most of the emotional heavy lifting while the men either brood or bicker, a little Schwartz energy would go a long way. Now, the Tom Tom owner doesn’t need to come in guns blazing or try to be the star. He just needs to be himself which is semi-awkward and 100% willing to show up in a hoodie and talk about his feelings for 45 minutes.
Schwartz is the comic relief on The Valley
I didn’t realize how badly I needed a good laugh. The last episode of The Valley showed Jax being served, but with a side of humor thanks to Tom. The model has been through the process himself and joked about the legal jargon. And surprisingly, his jokes really hit. And now between Jason Caperna’s judge-and-jury vibes and Jax’s permanent state of low-stakes rage, the show sometimes forgets to breathe. That’s where Tom comes into play.
His part in the series wouldn’t be driving the drama. Tom could be the one reacting to it with wide eyes and a nervous laugh. Let’s not forget this guy actively rode in a sidecar in order to get the punch line. He’ll spill a drink and accidentally say something profound while trying to avoid conflict. It’s classic Schwartz. And it works. During his time on Vanderpump Rules, Tom was the accidental comic relief. He often stepped into it when interacting with his former wife. But on The Valley, he could be the much-needed soft landing when the tension gets too thick. He’s not a scene-stealer but he could be a force for good.
Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz are now neighbors
In case you missed it, the latest episode showed Jax moving right next to Tom. The duo is actually neighbors and can hang out on the same balcony. The former Schwartz & Sandy’s owner looked visibly panicked at the sight of Jax being able to hop over the short glass partition.
Their real-life proximity means Schwartzy is already in The Valley orbit 24/7. The odds are good that he will be filming even more scenes and popping up to cast events. Jax and Tom’s friendship is also a Bravo institution. Jax needs Schwartz. Not emotionally (though, arguably, yes), but structurally. Jax unhinged is entertaining. Jax unhinged with Schwartz trying to mediate, deflect, and nervously sip a beer while chaos erupts around him? That’s television. Tom is more than used to being dragged into other people’s mess. The man is an institution and built for it. So maybe Bravo should give him a chance on The Valley. I mean, what could go wrong?
The Valley is available to stream on Peacock and Hayu in the UK and Ireland.
TELL US – DO YOU WANT TO SEE TOM SCHWARTZ BACK ON THE VALLEY?
