Lisa Vanderpump is the ultimate businesswoman and multi-tasker. She juggles animal activism, her dog rescue, running multiple restaurants, and filming TV shows with ease. And don’t forget all that spare time she has for scheming and manipulation!
Her restaurant empire is slowly taking over the streets of West Hollywood. Even though Nene Leakeswanted to get there first. This season of Vanderpump Rules debuted Lisa’s latest restaurant venture, TomTom. And things must be going quite well because she is looking to expand the TomTom brand.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.
Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.
But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?
God this show is getting so asinine. I mean… the plotline for tonight includes a puppy shower for the C-Team, then Stassi Schroeder getting a bad girlfriend exorcism from a witch who’s less WeHo and more Wiccan. Katie Maloney joins Stassi in this and since Katie doesn’t believe she needs any self-improvement in any way, you know this is some BS nonsense!
And then we have the epitome of married bliss, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. What a perfect example of true unity, am I right? I picture them holding hands, happily skipping through a field of edibles wildflowers, and toasting each other on being the forefront of #relationshipgoals. So what is the secret to their love that shines so bright? I’m not entirely sure we want to know…
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.
Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.
Living this way each day, experiencing the highs and lows of Katie’s mood swings opening a bar, a guy could use some rest and relaxation. Why not a trip to Mexico?! The sun, the sand, good people, and more alcohol than I could consume in a year are on the short list of fun things to do. But wait, Tom 2 and co-star Scheana Marie were randomly upgraded to first class when the gang was boarding the aircraft. Because Katie is so sweet and understanding, she smiled gently at her beloved husband and wished him a good flight… That’s almost as farfetched as Lala Kentbeing a feministreconciling withJames Kennedy. So how did Katie handle this horrific act of betrayal? Not well, my friends, not well.