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Tom Schwartz

Vanderpump Rules - TomTom Opens

Lisa Vanderpump is the ultimate businesswoman and multi-tasker. She juggles animal activism, her dog rescue, running multiple restaurants, and filming TV shows with ease. And don’t forget all that spare time she has for scheming and manipulation! 

Her restaurant empire is slowly taking over the streets of West Hollywood. Even though Nene Leakes wanted to get there first. This season of Vanderpump Rules debuted Lisa’s latest restaurant venture, TomTom. And things must be going quite well because she is looking to expand the TomTom brand.

Stassi Schroeder - Vaderpump Rules

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.

Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.

But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?

Raquel Leviss & James Kennedy - Vanderpump Rules

Tonight Vanderpump Rules returns and even though winter no one is coming, Raquel Leviss goes ahead with hosting a puppy shower for James Kennedys sad puppy dog eyes. Just kidding – it’s actually for their dog, Graham.

God this show is getting so asinine. I mean… the plotline for tonight includes a puppy shower for the C-Team, then Stassi Schroeder getting a bad girlfriend exorcism from a witch who’s less WeHo and more Wiccan. Katie Maloney joins Stassi in this and since Katie doesn’t believe she needs any self-improvement in any way, you know this is some BS nonsense!

Tom Sandoval Says James Kennedy Is “Great TV” & “Important” To Vanderpump Rules

Everyone knows that Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval has a soft spot for James Kennedy. When everyone goes after James, Tom flies in like a superhero to defend him. He even called out his best friend’s wife, Katie Maloney, for her treatment of James. And unless you are a Katie fan, that was one of the true highlights of the season. 

The rest of the Pump Rules crew wants nothing to do with James or anyone else around him. Jame’s girlfriend, Raquel Leviss, got the cold shoulder when no one wanted to go to her puppy shower. Even Brittany Cartwright, patron saint of SUR, wouldn’t invite Billie Lee to her engagement party just because she is friends with James. Luckily for James, Tom and Tom Schwartz aren’t as petty.

Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Schwartz Busted By Katie Maloney Watching TV During Sexy Times

Still with me after that headline? Good, remember we are in this together… Romance is alive and well in LA, y’all. Currently there are no single cast members of Vanderpump Rules. Well, except for Scheana Marie who is presently hitting the sheets with Adam Spott (RUN ADAM, RUN!). But Adam doesn’t want a commitment because he secretly fears Scheana is young and on a television show. That said, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright are in the midst of planning their mashed potato buffet wedding. Stassi Schroeder is busy teaching Beau Clark the finer points of subtle emotional abuse. Longtime loves Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix are chilling in their expensive new abode. Lala Kent is serving her master sucking on baby bottles to keep those Gucci slide perks from Daddy coming her way. Basically they are all quite busy doing the Lord’s work.

And then we have the epitome of married bliss, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. What a perfect example of true unity, am I right? I picture them holding hands, happily skipping through a field of edibles wildflowers, and toasting each other on being the forefront of #relationshipgoals. So what is the secret to their love that shines so bright? I’m not entirely sure we want to know…

Vanderpump-Rules-Stassi-Schroeder-Ariana-Madix

Everyone can’t stop talking about Lisa Vanderpump. Every single episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is centered around her. Even housewives from other shows, like Nene Leakes, added her two cents about Lisa. 

Now the Vanderpump Rules cast can’t stop talking about Lisa either. Stassi Schroeder and Lala Kent shared their thoughts on puppygate. Scheana Marie weighed in on the feud between Lisa and Kyle Richards. And Stassi is back at it again, this time with Ariana Madix and Kristen Doute.

Raquel Leviss

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.

Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.

Tom Schwartz Shares Aftermath Of Ditching Katie Maloney For First Class

Tom Schwartz, can this guy ever get a break? For years, the Vanderpump Rules star has been cowering in the shadow of wife, Katie Maloney. Viewers have seen Tom fail at bartending, have a less-than-stellar performance attempting to work for LVP Sangria, and be brutally insulted on a regular basis by the person he married. When Tom 2 finally gets a job, as a kind-of owner of Tom Tom, along with life-partner Tom Sandoval, Katie complains about that too. Of course, this begs the question, if Katie isn’t complaining, does she have a pulse?

Living this way each day, experiencing the highs and lows of Katie’s mood swings opening a bar, a guy could use some rest and relaxation. Why not a trip to Mexico?! The sun, the sand, good people, and more alcohol than I could consume in a year are on the short list of fun things to do. But wait, Tom 2 and co-star Scheana Marie were randomly upgraded to first class when the gang was boarding the aircraft. Because Katie is so sweet and understanding, she smiled gently at her beloved husband and wished him a good flight… That’s almost as farfetched as Lala Kent being a feminist reconciling with James Kennedy. So how did Katie handle this horrific act of betrayal? Not well, my friends, not well.