Ring, ring… Hi Karma, how are you? You need to speak with whom? Oh sure, hang on. Dorit Kemsley, phone call! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has been a whirlwind of one-sided drama this season. The main focus has been, sigh, Lisa Vanderpump’s battle with her co-stars over a dog adoption gone wrong. Viewers of the show have wondered why all the fuss on an issue that could have been solved by following simple adoption contract guidelines. One reason could be the lawsuits facing Mauricio Umansky, husband of Kyle Richards. Then we have an active suit against Erika Jayne’s husband, Tom Girardi. And we certainly cannot forget Dorit’s husband PK Kemsley. None of these cases have been mentioned on the show thus far. Instead the ladies have banded together to focus on Lisa V. and create a mountain of deflection to spare them any embarrassment.
Avoiding a subject won’t make it go away. Just ask Dorit and PK Kemsley! The couple has seen their fair share of financial troubles. While occasionally bopping around with Boy George, Dorit
o and PeeKay have been dealing with court cases on the down low. But now we have a twist! Looks like ‘ole PK will have to bop himself into the courtroom, and bring his bank statements with him.
Whether you’re Team Lisa Vanderpump or Team Everyone else, (pretty much) everyone can agree that she is an avid LGBTQ advocate. That’s why it was so surprising when she made a seemingly transphobic “joke” about Erika Jayne during the last episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Lisa was talking about the lie detector test she took during the episode. Aside from the questions about the dog scandal, John Sessa included a question that shaded Dorit Kemsley’s constantly changing face and accent. Lisa had no problem answering every question except for one that she didn’t want mentioned. Lisa randomly”joked,” “Just don’t ask me if Erika’s tucking or something like that because there are some things I can’t lie about.” Did anyone even ask her something about that? How long was she sitting on that line? This was very out of character for Lisa. It didn’t even fit into the context of the situation. At all. Why would the very vocal LGBTQ supporter make this remark?
Congratulations Camille Grammer – you’ve officially broken free of Kelsey and restarted your life with a new man by getting married on last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Gorgeous wedding! Too bad you dragged your way back Kelsey personality along with you for the ride in the clown car to David C. Meyer.
Oh, a lie detector test. Is that what we’re doing now instead of printing out 99 point font textestessss to prove our innocence? I feel like I need to write this portion of the recap in Comic Sans font, because surely this must be some British Humor! Now I’m still team Lisa Vanderpump, but lady – I cannot sit back and allow John Sessa to carry the Pom-Shield and become the defacto Kyle Richards: professional sidekick, stand-in kitchen remodel viewer, and mouthpiece of menace. John Sessa (and his barely buttoned shirt) needs to stick to training puppies to bite PK and leave the Housewives stuff to the big dogs.
Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills paid homage to the great legend herself, Erika Jayne, but the true legend they ought to be bowing to is Camille Grammer, returneth to us in her splendorous season 1 form.
Now that Lisa Vanderpump has removed herself from the scene, what is Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave supposed to do but focus all her obsessive energies onto exposing the truth about Camille? Camille, as we know will rise to that occasion, rather flightily and airily, but with needle-prick jabs that hit all the right pressure points. Like acupuncture for your insecurities.
Tonight Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills returns with an epic auto-tune moment: The Erika Jayne concert. Featuring jazz and musical legends, a gospel choir, and a full band. Oh… haha… oops – that was the Boy George concert!
At Erika’s concert a technical malfunctions ensure that people have to listen to her actual voice, not the stylized version, but at least the mic failed and the audience can just watch the glittering electric light display of gyrating sequins dry humping air instead.
Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Did you remember? Hopefully. If you didn’t, it’s not too late to get her the perfect gift though. This is especially true if she is a reality TV fanatic just like you are.
There are many products made by and inspired by your favorite reality TV stars that would be perfect Mother’s Day gifts. It gets better though. They are all available on Amazon. This means you can ship them ASAP
and cover your ass if you forgot about the holiday. If you’re reading this way too late in the game, you can just use Prime Shipping to get gifts to her as close to the holiday as you can. If you really have to you can blame the lateness on shipping delays if you didn’t shop in time.
Erika Jayne has been able to pull off something of a Housewife miracle. Now in her fourth season on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Erika has managed, for the most part, to keep her personal life private. Most other ladies will share anything to get screen time-like the always attention seeking Lisa Rinna. And this season’s Queen of the Overshare, newbie Denise Richards, who has revealed more about her sex life then we would ever want to know!
Erika, however, keeps things much closer to the vest. An occasional cameo with hubby Tom Girardi here, a comment about her son there-is about all we get from her on the show. Sure, Erika slips once in a while and reminds us that she has a Disney villainess epic temper-and a very fragile ego. And she loves to promote her concert tours with endless rehearsal scenes. But, I keep asking myself, who is this woman? What do we really know about her?
We are certainly enjoying an interesting season thus far on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. #Puppygate has dominated the show’s theme, to the dismay of Lisa Vanderpump. While the cast of divas were placing the blame directly on Lisa, were they indirectly avoiding other subjects? There has been a bounty of activity on the legal side for many of the wives. Kyle Richards‘ husband, Mauricio Umansky, is denying being guilty of fraud. $32 million worth of fraud. Dorit and PK Kemsley have recently
been given a life line faced their financial woes in court. And resident puss patter, Erika Jayne’s, grandfather husband Tom Girardi is under fire for not paying back a loan.
Funny how we haven’t heard about these issues on the show. Some of these ladies could teach a master class in deflection. Erika has spoken out on Tom’s legal issues. She stated she has no concern. This is coming from a woman who wears a c-word necklace, mind you. Tom, on the other hand, is a high-class attorney. Tom is at work every day and not rolling around on the floor with Mikey. In other words, Tom has a rep to protect.